


A Surprising Acquisition

by Caliblair



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Corporate, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boss/Employee Relationship, Corporate Side Dark Side same thing right?, Drunk Karaoke is the best karaoke, F/M, Infidelity, Karaoke, Rose and Finn would be the best coworkers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-29 06:19:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 49,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15067007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caliblair/pseuds/Caliblair
Summary: Rey West loves her job with The Empire, but after it's acquired by mogul Kylo Ren, she's worried everything might change. After Kylo asks her for help on a project after hours, she just might be right. Her friends worry she might be taking on too much but she can't seem to tell her boss no.An expansion of my other work "Find the Right Words".





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Find the Right Words](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14632815) by [Caliblair](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caliblair/pseuds/Caliblair). 



Rey West stood by her desk her hip balanced on the edge, her arms crossed. The multimedia startup she had worked at for the past two years as an assistant and then an editor had just been bought out. They had been assured by their current management that nothing would change but she wasn’t inclined to believe them. Ever since she had heard the name of their new investor she had been dreading this day. Kylo Ren was a ruthless businessman. He was a terrifying combination of Mark Zuckerburg and Elon Musk. He seemed to be nearly psychic when it came to choosing investments and predicting new trends. He was young too. He had made his first million before 21 and had crossed a billion before he even turned 30. But he also had a temper and a penchant for dating (and then dumping) a series of ever more inappropriate women. The last had been an indie starlet who had resorted to locking herself in her trailer for almost two days after their very public breakup. She felt as though their Midtown office was about to be invaded.

  
“Stand up straight,” said Poe Dameron nudging her. As her boyfriend and coeditor, he had every reason to want to keep her on Kylo’s good side. “Ren is going to be here any minute.” She rolled her eyes and stood, moving her hip from her desk. “Yeah and we’re just writing listicles on celebrity feuds,” she said. “Why do we have to stand at attention like we’re at boot camp waiting for inspection?” 

  
“You wouldn’t last a week at boot camp,” he said nudging the center of her spine with his shoulder.

  
“Isn’t that about how long you lasted before they kicked you out?” she said looking over her shoulder at him. 

  
“Six months,” he said. “And I didn’t get kicked out, I left.” His brief time attempting to join the Air Force was a touchy subject. He used it as both evidence of his ambition and his inability to be corralled. But she knew he hated that he hadn’t made it.

  
“Important distinction,” she said turning back to watch the elevator. “I mean, come on, we’re wasting time. I have deadlines.”

  
“Since when are you such a workhorse?” said Poe. She opened her mouth to speak but the elevator pinged open and she pressed her lips together. Kylo Ren strode out of the doors looking like he had stepped off the cover of Forbes magazine in a sharply cut black suit and crisp white shirt. He was somehow, even more, intimidating in person then in all of the interviews, Rey admitted she had watched after learning about the acquisition. The room seemed to drop silently as he took his first steps into the office. Everyone turned to look at him from where they had been standing at their desks, now at rapt attention. 

  
“Hello everyone,” said Ren stepping through the rows of desks slowly and deliberately. He wasn’t shouting but Rey could hear him clearly, even from the back. “I know new leadership brings concerns. I won’t promise you that things won’t change, because they will. I intend to improve things here but you may not like my methods.” He turned coming down Rey's aisle and she swallowed dryly. He didn’t seem to see her, or any of them really. His eyes were sweeping the office almost automatically. “Some of you may not work here after I finish my changes but that is not my intention. If you don’t agree with my methods, you are free to leave without fear of repercussion. I’ll be speaking with most of you over the next few days individually. Prepare a brief summary of your work.” He paused in front of his office door surveying them once more. “I’m glad to have acquired The Empire and I’m sure you will all continue to accomplish great work.” And with that, he turned, stepping into his office closing the door behind him. 

  
As the door shut the sound seemed to rush back to the office and Kylo disappeared. Everyone dropped to hushed whispers clearly discussing the new boss. “What a jackass,” said Poe under his breath. “Ten seconds in the office and he’s threatening to fire people.” 

  
“Yeah,” said Rey staring at Kylos office. She could still see glimpses of him through the blinds as he closed them, one pane at a time. Before he turned the last pair, his eyes caught her and she quickly turned away sitting back at her desk. “Total jackass.”


	2. Chapter 2

Rey typed half-heartedly at her keyboard while watching the clock. Her self-assessment sat at the corner of her desk, neatly paper clipped together. She didn’t want to come to his office early and appear overeager but she didn’t think Ren would appreciate tardiness ever. She waiting until the clock flipped to 2:01 (their meeting was scheduled for 2:00) before she stood walking the few feet to his office. She knocked carefully at the door and she heard him invite her in. She stepped inside and before she could greet him he spoke. “Please close the door and take a seat.” He wasn’t even looking up at her, his interest focused on the thick folder in his hands. She turned to close it behind her and caught a glance of Poe flashing her an encouraging thumbs up. She smiled briefly and closed the door before turning to Ren taking a seat in front of him. He didn’t speak, his focus still on the folder. Rey held her papers carefully, not wanting to crease them, finally laying them on his desk. She could feel her own heart pounding with nerves, taking an enormous amount of effort not to tap her feet or fingers.

  
“I’ve been here just over two years,” she finally began. Fuck it, if he was going to toy with her, she didn’t have to play along. “And I consistently publish articles that receive positive feedback. The majority of my articles receive over 100,000 hits within the first 12 hours and over half reach a million within a week. I engage with our readers on most forms of social media and am constantly adjusting the kinds of stories I write based on that feedback. My piece on dating in reality television was even nominated for-“

  
“You came to us from Jakku Hub correct?” said Ren finally closing the folder and looking up at her. “Not typically the kind of company I like to source talent from.”

  
Shit. Rey hadn’t prepared for that. Jakku Hub was an enormously successful and trashy site. They were often compared to TMZ and PerezHilton, focusing the majority of their pieces on wardrobe malfunctions and hidden camera breakdowns. When Rey had finished school she was desperate for money and Jakku Hub was always open to hiring anyone willing to work with their particular brand of despicable. “I did.” she finally said. “But Jakku Hub is not the kind of company I want to work for or the kind of stories I wanted to be writing.

  
“How did you convince the Empire to hire you with that resume?” he said tapping his fingers on what she now realized was her own personnel file.

  
“I came with a portfolio of work I’d written independently.” As soon as she’d gotten her life into some semblance of stability, she’d quit Jakku Hub and severed all ties with anyone there. They had begged and pleaded for her to stay offering more and more money but she had refused. But it had been an uphill battle to convince any reputable news source that someone coming from Jakku Hub was worth hiring. “I got it into Leia Solo’s hands and I was able to get a meeting with her. She clearly saw something.” Leia had been one of the original founders of The Empire but had retired a few months after hiring Rey, selling her shares of the company and moving abroad to concentrate on her charity work. 

  
“Yes,” said Ren his jaw now set. “You are just the type she’d hire.” Rey felt her heart sink. That made it sound like Ren didn’t think she was worth hiring. She waited for him to say more but he simply slid her self-evaluation across the desk, turning it around and beginning to flip through the pages, his eyes briefly scanning each page before he flipped to the next one. The silence drove Rey crazy. Why was she even here if he wasn't going to even pretend to consider the work she'd put in?

  
“Look if you’ve already decided to let me go based on where I worked before, fine. But I have clearly proven I can do work beyond Jakku Hub. My articles outperform pieces written by people coming from more reputable companies, with longer careers. I've been recognized both online and critically by other journalists. I’m the one pitching new stories and series that get The Empire noticed by people like you.” She had nearly spat out the last sentence.

  
Kylo stared back at her looking somewhat bemused. “Are you done?” 

  
“Yes.” she said after a pause realizing she had been gripping the arms of her chair. She released her grasp noticing how her fingernails had created little divots in the dark leather. If she was going to get fired at least she’d have said her piece. 

  
“You obviously do good work. I knew that before you submitted all of this.” He lifted the corner of her report. “And besides that, I’ve read a few of your series. You managed to elevate celebrity gossip to real journalism. You have raised the profile of the Empire significantly. The fact that you came from Jakku Hub only makes that more impressive. I know we don’t pay nearly as much and can’t get you access to events like they did. You’re clearly here for the right reasons. You want to write important work. I wouldn’t have had the foresight to hire you, and clearly, I would have been mistaken.”

  
“Oh.” said Rey her face flaming red. “I- thank you.”

  
“You’re long overdue for a promotion and once I have done a full evaluation of the company, I’ll make sure it happens.”

  
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have said-“

  
“Please,” he said raising a hand and she silenced herself. Christ, he was intimidating and she had just yelled at him. She had just yelled at her boss who had been planning to praise her. “Keep this quiet. I’m going to have to let some people go and I don’t want rumors of promotions floating around getting peoples hopes up.”

  
“Of course.” she said.

  
“And I know you have friends in the office,” he said. “But really, keep this between us.”

  
“Oh-ok,” she said. She had been planning on maybe telling Rose and Finn. If anything she hadn’t even considered not telling Poe. “Who are you planning on firing?”

  
“I don’t have firm plans,” he said. “But my preliminary numbers show that some pieces aren’t performing up to the caliber. I’d like to cut as few people as possible but I’d also like to cut as much dead weight as possible.”

  
“They’re not dead weight, they’re people,” said Rey. “Maybe if you just gave those people a chance-“

  
“Rey,” he said. “I’ve acquired a few more companies then you. I’d like it if there were a way to do this where everyone got to keep their jobs but it simply doesn’t work. Whole companies fold instead of a few people.”

  
“They’re still people,” she said. “Some with families and kids who are counting on them. You could at least give them time.” She stood. “But like you said, you know far more then I do about these things. So I’ll just get back to writing.”

  
“And I appreciate your discretion,” he said. She scoffed and walked out closing his door behind her. She all but stomped back to her desk sitting down with a thud. Almost simultaneously IMs popped up from Rose, Finn, and Poe on her screen.

  
_ReallyRose:Are you ok?_

  
_FinnTastic: We could hear yelling but we couldn’t tell who it was!_

  
_FlyBoy: If he fired you, we’ll all quit. This place will crumble without all of us._

  
She wrote and sent the same message to all three of them.

  
_ReyofSun: Everything is fine. I still work here. He just couldn’t make it easy. Just wanted to nitpick all my work and make me nervous b/c of JakkuHub. Showed him I’m more than my old work and it’s all good._

  
She then closed the IM window and went back to her article. She just had to make sure none of them were on Kylo’s shit list and everything would be fine.


	3. Chapter 3

Rey raised her hands above her head in silent victory before pressing the last key to submit her story. The rewrites had been a bitch and the office had long since emptied around her but she was done. She removed her headphones, cracking her neck from side to side. Poe was meeting some old college buddies for a guys weekend in Atlantic City. When she got home she’d be able to curl up in pajamas, order in some Thai food and binge one of the trashy shows Poe refused to watch. She had the whole apartment to herself until Sunday and she wouldn’t be wasting a second. She stood ready to sling her bag over her shoulder and head out. Maybe she’d even treat herself to an Uber instead of the subway. “Rey.” she heard behind her and nearly jumped out of her skin. She had thought she was alone in the office and nearly slugged whoever had walked up behind her. Thankfully she turned in time to see it was Kylo Ren and stopped herself. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  
“It’s fine,” she said her heart pounding. “That’s what you get for wearing noise-canceling headphones. What can I help you with Mr. Ren?”

  
“You can call me Kylo,” he said. “And I need a fresh pair of eyes on a piece of mine. Do you have a moment?”

  
“Sure,” she said setting her bag down. A piece? Kylo was an executive, not a writer.

  
“I don’t mean to keep you from your plans,” he said watching as she unloaded. “I realize it is the weekend-“

  
“You’re just keeping me from Netflix,” she said. “It’ll hold. What do you need me to look over?” 

  
“My letter from the editor,” he said. “I’ve been working on it all day and I just need-"

  
“Fresh perspective,” she said. “I get it. On your desktop, I’m assuming?” He nodded and she walked into his office standing behind his desk. He sat in his chair quickly scrolling to the top of the page and moving back to let her step in. She stepped in her eyes quickly scanning the letter. It was nothing groundbreaking, a boilerplate letter from the editor, thanking the readers for their continued support, and asking them to join The Empire in their new adventures. There were a few attempts at humor but she couldn't help but read them in Kylos usual deadpan so they didn't quite work.

  
“It’s good,” she said standing “A great summary of what you plan to do without alienating current readers. A couple syntax fixes but nothing drastic.” She began to type, placing a comma here and there, and reworking some awkward phrasing.

  
“You don’t have to compliment it just because I’m the boss,” he said. “Be honest. Brutally so if needed.”

  
“I mean it,” she said, knowing that bosses never really wanted to hear brutal honesty, especially from employees who had yelled at them last week. “I think the opening metaphor is a bit long but that’s an easy edit.”

"Rey." he said arching an eyebrow. "If one of our junior editors gave this to you, would you approve it for posting?" Shit. He had her there. She crossed her arms, her eyes falling down to the screen like she was reconsidering while she searched for the right words.

"No.," she said. "I wouldn't. It doesn't say anything that hasn't been said and it doesn't tell the readers who you are. There's no opinion, no point of view-"

"So it sucks." he said leaning back in his chair. "I thought so."

"It doesn't." she said. "It's just...boring. Which is easier to fix."

  
"I'm not a writer," he said. "I'm an investor, I don't know how to do any of this." He swept his arm across his desk sharply knocking off several pens and a legal pad before dropping his elbow to the desk leaning on his hand, the heel of his palm pressed to his forehead as he glared at the screen.

  
"Then don't write it like a writer," she said her eyes flicking to the items on the floor. She had seen writers throw much bigger tantrums and at least he hadn't thrown anything at her. "When you came in the first day you told us you'd be changing things and we might not like it but to suck it up and deal with it."

  
"I hope it came off more kindly than that," he said almost smiling.

  
"I may have been paraphrasing," she said. "But say that to our readers."

  
"And risk alienating old readers?"

  
"Or get them to read more of our pieces to see if you prove yourself. And if nothing else controversy gets free publicity. Be the boss who threatened to flip the whole business." she said. "Just write what you actually want to say and I'll help edit it.”

  
“There’s no need for you to further delay your weekend for me,” he said.

  
“Hey if you fail and this place folds, I’m out of a job,” she said. “I’m creating my own job security.” She hoped the joke didn’t come off too harsh, but at this point, anything she did could only make things better. He actually smiled for a moment and she moved aside so he could write. “Don’t edit, don’t hold back, just write. Stream of consciousness.”  
She sat in the seat across from him flipping through her Instagram waiting for him to finish. There were photos of Rose and her sister outside a concert venue, photos of Finn at food trucks in Brooklyn and then a string of photos of Poe and his friends all posting essentially the same pictures. First on the train, then in the bar, drinking in their hotel room. She then saw the rest of his friends start posting pictures in bars, taking shots, standing in a line, their arms all around each other in a line. She noticed one and with two fingers zoomed into an image in the background. Poe and a girl, her back was to the camera, tucked into a both. Poes hand was resting over hers, his patented charming smile in place. She quickly flipped to Poes individual profile and his last photos were in the hotel, with the caption, ‘Suite life with the boys!’ He was trying to give the distinct impression he was in for the night. “How stupid-“ she muttered.

  
“What?” said Kylo looking up.

  
“Nothing,” she said. “Just something I read. It uh, gave me an idea for a story.”

  
“Pitch it.” he said.

  
“It’s not a fully formed story yet,” she said still swiping. There was another photo now and while still in the background she could see his arm was around her shoulders now, her face still shielded by a curtain of hair. “Just an idea.”

  
“Try me,” he said. “It can’t be worse then what I’m writing.”

  
“Uh,” she said flustered. “Just how- how celebrities will post one thing while everyone knows what’s really going on. How Khloe Kardashian posts beach selfies when everyone knows her boyfriend is cheating on her. It’s like they like to imagine we’re only reading their cultivated feed and we can’t get information from anywhere else. I can’t tell if it’s denial or just arrogance.” She huffed putting her phone down.

  
“Kardashian social media really have you that frustrated?” he said.

  
“Something like that. Trust me you don’t want to hear about it.” She stood coming back to his side of the desk. “What do you have written so far?”

  
“More bullet points than a letter,” he said. Her eyes scanned them quickly.

  
“Brutal.” she said. “Let me write this up and we can both get to our weekends. Shouldn’t take me more than a few minutes.” She began typing leaning over his desk.

  
“Take the seat.” he said moving to stand up.

  
“No.” she said typing away. “I like working on my feet more, keeps the blood flowing. I’m saving up for one of those standing desks for my apartment. Standing at my kitchen counter isn’t quite the same.” He sat back watching her type, her eyes locked on the screen. Rey had to pause a few times, biting at her thumb to process a few sentences but ultimately had the whole thing written in a few minutes. She stood up straight cracking her neck from side to side. “Give it the final seal of approval and we’re all done.”

  
Kylo read over the letter and then turned to her. “You’re a master,” he said. “You took my drivel and turned it into something that won’t shut down the Empire.”

  
“I try. Besides, if I tried acquiring a multi-million dollar company I’m sure you could show me a thing or two,” she said. “I’ll let you escape to your weekend plans.”

  
“Nothing much,” he said. “Just running through more employee evaluations. Crushing dreams. Kicking puppies.” Rey looked up at him and for a split second, she thought he might be serious. “That was a joke. I know that’s what people think I do around here.”

  
“Not kicking puppies,” she said. “Just…nudging them with your feet.” She swore he even smiled at that one but it was gone so fast she couldn't be sure.

  
“Let me walk you out,” he said laying his hand on the small of her back to guide her out of his office. She felt her heart jump a little as he did. Poe was never one for public displays of affection, especially since they were coworkers. Kylo with his arm nearly wrapped around her striding the length of the office felt so strange.

  
“Thanks,” she said quietly as they stepped into the elevator. He pressed the button for the lobby and she credited the sudden drop of the elevator to the flip in her stomach.

  
“Where are you headed?” he said.

  
“My place is in Harlem,” she said. “Over by Riverton Square.”

  
“I’m headed to the Upper West Side,” he said. “Same direction, let me give you a ride.”

  
“Oh you don’t have to do that.” she said.

  
“I’m the one who kept you late,” he said. “And it’ll make us even for you saving my letter. And my car is much less crowded than the subway at this time.”

  
“You convinced me,” she said as they reached the lobby. He lay his hand on her back again pressing her forward. She looked up at them as they moved through the lobby. He moved so surely, so assured of himself. She couldn’t believe he had been close to throwing a fit only minutes ago, over a single assignment. He now acted like he owned the whole building and not just an office on the 17th floor. She could deal with the hour or so it took to drive through the city.

  
As they stepped out of the office and around the corner towards the corporate parking she began scanning for a town car. But he steered her towards a black Audi sedan instead. “This way,” he said.

  
“Oh,” she said. “I didn’t-“

  
“I know,” he said. “But I can’t stand being driven around like a chaperoned teenager. I much prefer to drive myself.” He opened the passenger door for her, letting her slide into the leather seats and closing her door. She looked around the interior of the car for the brief moment she was alone. The car seemed brand new save for the fingerprints on the touch screen and pens in the center console. He folded himself into the driver's seat. “Enter your address,” he said bringing the screen to life and the engine began purring, humming under her feet. She quickly typed her address into the screen as Kylo backed out, turning onto the street.

  
“Thank you again,” she said as they began down the street.

  
“It’s no trouble,” he said. He moved quickly towards 12th Ave and began to weave in and out between the slower cars. He seemed to not be watching the road, rather he seemed more interested in studying her.

  
“So, is the Empire living up to expectations?” she said keeping her gaze ahead. “Worth the acquisition?”

  
“I haven’t decided yet,” he said. “Media companies are always tricky to get a handle on first. A tech company or a research facility, they have something tangible to evaluate, assign a numerical value to. But readers don’t always equal money, and advertisers are only worth so much.”

  
“So why buy a media company?” she said. “If they’re so tricky to figure out?”

  
“I needed a change,” he said the car coming to a stop at a red light she could feel the engine humming under her feet. “Crunching numbers, signing checks, getting patent after patent…it’s…” He trailed off.

  
“Too predictable?” she supplied.

  
“I was going to say boring,” he said. “But that is a nicer way of saying it.”

  
“I’m a writer,” she said. “It’s my job to sugarcoat things.” The light turned green and the engine growled to life. “It’s so weird to be in a car that isn’t a cab. No one drives in the city.”

  
“I know it’s impractical,” he said. “But I’ve always liked driving. Especially in the city. It’s nice to have a place where you can just shut all the doors and feel like you can just think in peace. Do you know how to drive?”

  
“Yeah,” she said. “I wasn’t raised in the city, so I learned how but it’s been a couple years. But I know what you mean. Just putting some glass and metal between you and the rest of the world…even if you’re in gridlock you have some time to yourself.”

  
“Exactly,” he said. The GPS pinged and as Rey looked away from him she realized they were in front of her building.

  
“This is me.” she said picking up her bag from the floor. “Thanks again for the ride.” She got out of the car but before she could shut the door he leaned over looking up at her.

  
“Thank you again for your help with the letter. I might ask for your help the next time I have to draft a speech.” he said. She felt like she should say more, tell him he was doing a good job but knew it would come out wrong.

  
“Of course.” she finally decided. “See you Monday.” She shut the door before she could say anything else and turned to head up the steps. As she crossed the threshold she looked back to see how far his car had gone down the block but he was still sitting there, watching as she walked up. As their eyes locked she felt her stomach flip like it had in the elevator and she gave a small wave before closing the door to the building behind her. She readjusted her bag on her shoulder as she began the seven flights of stairs up to the apartment she shared with Poe.

  
As she walked she opened her phone, checking for more photos but they seemed to have stopped posting. After she dropped her bag, kicked off her shoes and sat on her couch she looked back at the ones with Poe in the background. She zoomed in again studying as much as she could on the tiny screen. It was nothing. That’s what Poe would say if she brought this up. ‘I was just being friendly.’ was another favorite phrase he used she pointed these things out. He would always stop just before things crossed the line and she would end up looking paranoid and unreasonable. She screenshotted the photos, knowing Poe might ask his friends to delete them once he spotted himself in the background. He had done it before. She instead flipped over to a delivery app trying to push her mind away from Poe and towards Pad Thai.

  
Her phone buzzed as an incoming message popped across her screen. It was an unknown number but as she read the message she knew who it was. ‘Thank you again for your help tonight. And thank you for not saying anything when I started throwing things. It won’t happen next time.’

  
‘No problem.’ she sent back. So there would be a next time…Good to know.


	4. Chapter 4

Kylo often asked for her help in the office. He had her look over speeches and proposals, presentations and press releases. She knew he had people for this, that Kylo Ren had managed without her editing before he had come to the Empire. But she kept finding reasons to stay late in the office and he kept finding things for her to work on. He would lean over her shoulder as she typed and she had to admit she would lose her train of thought when she felt his breath down the back of her neck, his arms nearly encircling her as he’d lean forward to read something on the screen. Once while reaching for the same notepad, his hand had enveloped her and had held on just a moment too long before releasing her. 

She would tell herself over and over it was just the late nights and their sleep addled brains slowing their reactions. But he would stand just a little too close in the elevator as they rode down. He never cornered her, never made it so she couldn’t step away, but she never did.

Her friends had noticed, asking why she wasn’t available for happy hours and dinners anymore. She had just told them she was focusing on a new series, that required a lot of research, something they had all had to do before. But when she saw someone else settling in for a long night at the office, she’d pack up often running into Kylo on the way to the elevator. It was unspoken between them, but she only worked with him when the office was empty. If nothing else the long hours would show everyone she had earned her promotion when Kylo finally announced it. If it ever came… People had been leaving left and right, saying it was only a matter of time until Kylo sold the company or shut it down entirely. 

She and Kylo barely acknowledged each other in the normal hubbub of the office except to pass the sugar by the coffee machine or to discuss a changed deadline. He had never offered her another ride or texted her again either. But she kept the single exchange between them on her phone but kept the number unsaved so only she knew who had sent it to her. She told herself she wasn’t hiding it, she just didn’t want to advertise that she had Kylo Ren’s personal number to any mugger or purse snatcher who might go through her phone. But it was her secret, two messages, four sentences, less than thirty words that she must have read a hundred times, memorized them by now.

He had kept the promise he had made in the message too. He had occasionally banged a fist on the desk or let out a frustrated huff, but he had never thrown anything again. She’d seen his fist tighten around a mouse or a stapler but they always stayed firmly on the desk. She’d seen him come close a few times but he always stopped himself.

“Come on.” said Poe moving the back of her desk chair from side to side. She gripped her desk stopping him. “We’re going to McCulloch's! It’s Quiz Night and we need your encyclopedic knowledge of classic rock. We have Finn for history, Rose for movies, I have sports. We need you to complete the team! ”

“I can’t.” said Rey. “I have to work.”

“We’re never going to win.” said Poe. “We have gotten stomped the last 4 weeks without you.”

“Then listen to more music then Coldplay and Maroon 5.” she said. “And I’ll be home late tonight but I’ll get bagels in the morning.”

“Fine.” he said with an exaggerated sigh. “Everything bagel with-“

“Chive cream cheese and capers. I know.” she said. “Go, you’re gonna lose trivia night for sure if you miss the first round.” Poe pressed a kiss to her temple before heading out. Her face burned red where his lips had touched her and she glanced up at Kylo’s office. He was on the phone his eyes glued to his laptop. She began working on her piece on a local film festival but was half watching him. They were the only two left now and she knew as soon as his call ended he would ask her to come to his office to work on something new.

“Because it’s not always about the bottom line!” she heard him shout from his office. “I’m done doing all my thinking with my bank account!” She had heard him raise his voice before but he was screaming now. She tried to keep her eyes on her screen but when she heard a commotion and looked up. His desk chair was on its side and she had looked up in time to see him throw his cell phone across the room. It shattered against the wall and he picked up his coffee mug next, chucking it into the window separating him from the office. It shattered, the window creaking ominously. He had picked up his desk phone next but his eyes locked on her before it left his hands. He dropped it down to the desk and quickly moved towards the door. She stood, ready to talk to him when he came out but he closed the blinds instead. She wanted to cross the office, ask him if she could do anything. But her advice had never gone beyond anything deeper than a toast for a charity luncheon. And he was her boss.

She packed her bag quickly. She could probably make it to the bar in time to help them finish the first round. But had they gone to McCulloch's or McCallans? They both had quiz nights and she couldn’t remember which Poe had named. She knew Rose was the most likely to pick up her phone so she dialed her as she stepped into the elevator. “Hey!” she said. “Turns out I can make it to quiz night after all. Where are you guys?”

“We’re at MuCollah’s.” said Rose. “But Poe said he was sick of losing so he called in a night and decided to all head home instead.” 

“Oh,” said Rey. “Well then I’ll pick up Golden Palace on my way home and surprise him instead.”

“You’re so cute with him.” said Rose. “But I gotta go, round one is starting! See you tomorrow!”

Rey came into her apartment later, bags of food in each hand. The line at Golden Palace was always horrendous but their portions were massive, the food was cheap and it was Poe’s favorite. “Poe?” she called. “Poe, I got egg rolls from Golden Palace! Get them while they’re hot!” She didn’t hear anything. “Poe?” She checked the hook by the door but hiskeys weren’t there. He was probably picking up food himself. She called him, hoping she could catch him before they ended up with two dinners.

“Hey!” he said as he answered but she could barely hear him. Music was blasting behind him, probably a street performer. “What’s up?”

“Where are you?” she said. 

“At McCulloch's.” he said. “Quiz night remember?” Rey felt a pit drop in her stomach. “I gotta go! The second round is about to start and if they see my phone out I’ll lose points for Googling answers.” He hung up before she could say anything but she heard a female voice first. “Poe, who was that?” And then the call ended. She moved to her messages ready to text him that she knew he was lying, knew he wasn’t at quiz night and to ask who the girl was. Her thumb hovered of her his name but instead, she scrolled down until she came to Kylo’s messages. She typed out a message quickly before she could think too much about it. ‘I saw you were having a bad night. I hear misery loves company.’ She immediately regretted it. He had probably deleted their exchange weeks ago and getting that message from an unknown number probably looked like- Her phone buzzed. 

‘Misery and I have that in common.’ Another message followed quickly after, an Upper West Side address. She hesitated, about to send back a message saying she had sent her message to him in error. But instead, she pocketed her phone taking only her keys and wallet with her Metrocard out the door. If Poe got home and saw her bag he would worry…at least she hoped her still cared enough about her to worry. With that, she left the takeout on the table and headed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, a short chapter. But wait until you see what's coming...


	5. Chapter 5

This was stupid. It was so stupid. She was inside his apartment, Kylo Ren's penthouse apartment, her bare feet on his plush rug, her jacket thrown over a coat rack that probably cost more then her the rent on her first apartment. It would be idiotic if he wasn’t her boss. It would be idiotic if he was only her boss. But all of her logic seemed to diminish and her faults multiply around him. “I shouldn’t have come.” she said as he handed her a drink. 

“I’m glad that you felt you could. After you didn’t respond to my message I worried that sending you my address was…” he said sipping from his own glass trailing off. She got the distinct feeling that this was not his first drink. She sat perched on the edge of his couch, still feeling like a bull in a china shop in his immaculate apartment. “So what happened?”

“I-“ she said and stopped, taking a large gulp from her drink. She looked him over. It was so strange seeing him out of a suit. He was still in black but the suit was replaced a henley and jeans. Her throat burned and her mouth tingled. “Damn, this is strong.”

“You looked like you needed it.” he said. “If you want something else-“

“It’s fine.” she said taking a large gulp nearly finishing the glass “I probably need it.” She lifted the drink to drain it completely. She might as well catch up with him.

“Please.” he said laying his hand over hers lowering the glass from her face before she could.. “Talk to me.”

“Poe-“ she said and she saw Kylo stiffen, then immediately try to relax, act the like he hadn’t had a reaction to his name. “All of our friends think he’s the great guy and he’s so perfect but- God it’s like he loves finding out how far he can push me. It’s never ‘technically’ cheating so he can call me crazy and paranoid but- He keeps- with all these women- and I’m just supposed to-“

“What did he do?” said Kylo.

“He just- he does everything but.” she said setting her glass down on a side table. She should probably hesitate about spilling her guts to her boss but she was already in his apartment and her tongue felt loosened from the quickly consumed drink.“So if I call it out I sound crazy. And then he acts so perfect in front of our friends and I just- I can’t keep smiling and pretending everything is fine when he’s lying to my face.” This wasn’t just about tonight. This was about all the other nights, and how this was just the latest in a string of night’s she’d caught him in a lie.

“Rey.” he said softly setting down his own drink.. “You don’t have to. No one deserves to be treated like that.”

“I do.” she said. “If I lose him, I lose everyone else. They were all his friends first. He let me move into his place that I could never afford on my own. He got me in to see Leia, he got me this job.”

“Your job is safe.” he said. “And anyone who would pick him over you-“

“Kylo.” she said standing but she still had to look up at him. “I hate it. I hate feeling pulled like I can’t win. I hate not knowing what to do. Either way I lose and I don’t have anything-”

“Breathe.” he said taking her face in his hands. His hands were cool against her skin. “Rey, come on deep breaths.” She took slow deep breaths trying to calm herself. 

“I can’t.” she said trying to slow her breaths but they still came out in shudders and she could feel tears about to spill over. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Then don’t.” he said. “Don’t do it anymore.”

“What else do I have? I don’t have family, I won’t have friends or anyone-“ Kylo cut her off swiftly with a kiss.

“You’d have me.” he said leaning down, his forehead pressed to hers. “And all I could do for you. I’ll fire him, I’ll get rid of them all ff it’s what you want. I’ll shut down the Empire, I’ll give you your own company-” He leaned down to kiss her again.

“Don’t do that.” she said turning so his lips were pressed to her temple.

“I’m sorry.” he said quickly releasing her. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-“

“Not- not the kiss part.” she said stepping backwards. Her head was already swimming from the whiskey. “They ‘throwing money at the problem’ part. The kiss was-“ She looked up at him her mouth dry. “The kiss was-“

“I still shouldn’t have.” he said stepping back as well. “You and Poe may be fighting but you’re still together.”

“But you’re right.” she said. “He treats me like- I’m disposable to him. He knows how I think and he knows I’m too scared to leave.”

“That’s not a reason to stay.” he said. “Any friends that don’t like you on your own don’t deserve to have you as a friend. Your job is safe. And I wouldn’t ever let you go homeless. You are not alone in this Rey. You need someone on your side, and I’m here.”

He took her hand and then carefully pulled her into him, wrapping one arm around her lower back, the other stroking her hair. The touch wasn’t seductive, just comforting, holding her exactly the way she needed to be held. It was almost possessive. But this was wrong. This was stupid. She needed to let go of him, tell him to back off and leave. Go back to Poe, find a new job. Get away from Kylo. “I want to stay.” she said.

“Ok,” said Kylo releasing his hold on her. “And that’s your choice. If you want to stay with Poe-“

“No.” she said looking up at him. “I want to stay here. With you.” He stared down at her.

“Rey-“ he started but she leaned up kissing him this time.

“I’m tired of putting everyone else first.” she said pulling back to look up at him. “Of doing everything I can to make everyone else happy. It’s my turn.” She kissed him again hungry and desperate. She pulled away again to look at him, terrified for a moment that he would tell her he hadn’t meant what he’d said, that he was just trying to calm a drunk, hysterical employee in his home.

“About time.” he said moving her swiftly across the room, pressing her back to his wall kissing up her neck, his other hand gripping her waist. “You are one of the most selfless people I’ve ever met and it’s been driving me crazy.” He wound a hand tightly into her hair tugging her head back to expose more of her neck. She gasped out at the sharp tug, moaning as she felt his teeth and tongue against her skin. “Do something for yourself for once.” 

She wasn’t sure if it was the liquor or just him that had her head spinning. She couldn’t find words, couldn’t respond. If she couldn’t speak, she’d have to act instead. She gripped his hair in both hands and as he gasped out she moved her mouth back to his kissing him again. She walked forward, pushing him into another wall. For once she wouldn’t overthink things, wouldn’t second-guess herself. She would just take what she wanted and she wanted Kylo.

All those nights at the office alone with him she had felt this tension but had pushed it down. She had told herself it was all in her head and that even if it wasn’t there was no way it was mutual. He was Kylo Ren, he was her boss. This could get messy fast and-“Kylo-“ she said between shallow breaths. 

“What?” he said looking over her. 

“I’m just- this could go so wrong, so fast— I could wreck everything-“

“Stop thinking about everyone else.” he said.

“Then take my mind off of everyone else.” she said and he seemed to understand right away. He leaned down pulling her up and wrapping her legs around his waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her out of the living room and down a hall. He pushed her up against the double doors at the end of the hall. He threw her around like like she weighed nothing, putting her right where he wanted her.

“Get the door.” he said his hands gripping her tightly. She held tight to him with one hand twisting the handle with the other. He walked them into what she quickly realized was his bedroom. He dropped her down onto the massive bed, staying between her legs as he laid over her. She gripped the collar of his henley pulling him down to kiss her again. As long as he was kissing her, as long as his hands were on her, she could stop her mind from racing. His hand slipped under the edge of her shirt and his cool fingers sent a shiver up her spine. She wrapped one leg around him again pulling him close to her, using her other leg to press her hips up into him. She felt him hard against her him and he groaned into her ear as he ground down into her. His other hand slipped down to push her shirt up over her head.She pulled his henley up over his head,running her hands over the vast expanse of his pale chest. She ran her nails down his back and he pushed his hips down into her again. “Rey, christ.” he said his voice rough. He reached down to undo the button of her jeans but she covered his hand with her own. 

“Wait.” she said. “If we do this, then I’m no better then Poe. I’m worse then him.”

“Rey,” he said laying her forehead on his collarbone his hand resting on her waist this thumb barely dipping below the waistband of her jeans. The way he said her name…the short syllable had never sounded like that before. He sounded hungry and aroused, like he was commanding and pleading all at once. 

“I know.” she said. “I know I’m thinking about everyone else first. But I don’t want to cheat on him. It’s not me.”

“You’re too good for him.” he said pressing soft kisses along the edge of her bra, his eyes closed. 

“Kylo.” she said gripping his hair pulling his face level to hers. He hissed but opened his eyes to look at her. “Please. If I do this I’ll never forgive myself.”

“I know.” he said rolling onto his back next to her. 

“If you just want me to leave-”

“No.” he said. “No, please stay.” He reached down grabbing her shirt from the floor and handing it to her. She quickly pulled it on, sitting up and running her hand through her hair. “We can just…talk instead.” He pulled his own shirt on as well.

“Yeah. Talk, we talk all the time.” She was struck with a sudden thought. “I was supposed to be over here to help you through your bad night. Who was on that phone call who was able make you so angry?”

“Fuck.” he said. “I’d almost forgotten about that. I’m sorry you had to see that. I’ve been getting better about controlling my anger but-“

“What did they say?” she asked again laying her hand on his arm. 

“My board.” he said. “They want me to shut down the Empire.”

“We’re shutting down?” she said a little too loudly.

“No,” he said laying her hand over hers. “No. They just want it too.”

“Why?” she said. 

“Media is too unpredictable for them.” he said. “They think my reasons for purchasing the company are too personal, and that I’m focusing too much time there and that I’m neglecting our more profitable interests.” He dropped his head into his hand massaging his temples with his thumb and middle fingers.

“Personal?” she said wondering for one wild moment if he meant her.

“They think I did it to spite my mother.”

“Do you and your mother often fight by purchasing multi-million dollar companies?”

“No, just the one. But purchasing one of the first companies she founded-“ He seemed to have realized what he had revealed as he looked up at her.

“But…Leia Solo founded the Empire.” she said. “Is…is Leia Solo your mother?” He clenched his jaw but she had her answer. “I must have read a dozen articles about you when you acquired the company, and even more about Leia when I was doing research for my interviews. None of them mentioned that you two are even related.”

“We’ve worked very hard to keep it quiet. My board knows as well as a few very close friends.” he said. “She never wanted to let the media get photos of her children and I legally changed my name when I was 18. I built everything I had from the ground up, I didn’t want people thinking I got anything in my life just because I’m her son.”

“Leia and I talked a few times.” she said. “And she said she and her son didn’t talk much.”

“We don’t.” he said. “Maybe a half dozen times since I changed my name.”

She wanted to ask more questions about Leia, about why they didn’t talk anymore, but she knew it was too much. “So before you were Kylo Ren you were?”

“Ben.” he said. “Doesn’t have quite the power behind it as Kylo Ren.”

“Ben Solo.” she said with a smile. “It’s a nice name.”

“Please don’t call me Ben.” he said his jaw tense. “I haven’t been him for a long time.”

“Alright Kylo.” she said. “And I won’t say anything to anyone. I swear.”

“Thank you. And for the record I did not buy the Empire to spite anyone. I bought it because it was a good investment.”

“And the board can’t sell it?” she said. 

“No.” he said. “I hold a controlling interest, so all they can do it bitch and moan and call more meetings.”

“Good.” she said. He started running a fingertip down her arm to her wrist and back up to her elbow. It was like he had a manual on just how she wanted to be touched. Rough and thrown up against walls, hair tugged one minute and soft skimming touches the next. She felt her chest growing tight and after a beat she stood withdrawing her hand. “I should go home.”

“You don’t have to go.” he said taking her hand into his.

“No, I do.” she said. “Because if I keep sitting here in bed talking with you and touching you, eventually I’ll kiss you again and then…I might do something I regret.”

“Take a guest room.” he said. “Or I’ll get you a hotel room. You don’t have to go back to him tonight.”

“A guest room is fine.” she said. “But I’ll have to head out early in the morning to get a change for work.” He opened his mouth and she cut him off. “And don’t offer to buy me clothes.”

“I wasn’t going to.” he said but the corner of his mouth twitched up as he stood.

“You so were.” she said. 

“Am I at least allowed to offer you something more comfortable to sleep in?” he said leading her down the hall.

“Only if you already own it.” she said following him. He walked into a guest room, opening onef of the drawers pulling out a soft black shirt with long sleeves and pair of grey sweatpants. 

“You change into this,” he said. “And I’m going to make something for you to eat. If you drink on an empty stomach you’ll regret it in the morning. Turkey sandwich sound good?”

“Sounds great.” she said taking the clothes. He left, closing the door behind her. She pulled her shirt over her head once he did, followed by her jeans which she threw onto the bed. This didn’t feel real. She was putting on her bosses clothes, about to sleep in his home, and he was making her a sandwich. Billionaire Kylo Ren who ate with moguls and inventors and dignitaries was making her, Rey from Harlem, a sandwich. As she rolled up the sleeves to her elbows and bent down to roll up the pant legs so they wouldn’t drag on the floor, her phone buzzed in the back pocket of her jeans. She checked her screen, seeing that Poe had sent her a message and that it was nearly 1 am. He must have just gotten home and found their apartment empty. She turned her phone over without reading it and left it on the bed as she walked to the kitchen.

He set a finished sandwich on the table and she looked it over. “Looks great.” she said sat and took a bite. “And no mayo! People always put mayo on turkey and ruin it.”

“I know.” he said. “I see you scrape it off whenever the office orders in.” She looked up at him. 

“You noticed how I eat my lunch?” she said and took another bite.

“Only because I’ve never seen someone treat a condiment with such disdain.” he said. “I can’t even begin to discuss with your reaction to flavored coffee creamers.”

“They taste like plastic!” she said. “And they leave an oil slick at the bottom of your mug-“

“I know.” he said. “And they ruin the taste of everything you eat for the next 4 hours.” She hated that she could feel her face flaming red as she finished her sandwich. 

“I should go to bed.” she said. “And I’ll be gone before you get up."

“Whatever you think is best.” he said. She stood moving to take her plate to the sink but he took it from her. “I’ve got that.”

“Thank you.” she said. She wanted to thank him for so much more, for talking with her, trusting her with his secrets and especially for not taking advantage of her compromised state. But saying any of that out loud would ruin it all. “For the sandwich.”

“Well you’re welcome.” he said after placing the cleaned dish in a rack to dry, coming closer to her. He considered her before leaning down tilting her chin up and kissing her softly. “For the sandwich.” She closed her eyes knowing if she looked at him she would follow him straight back to his bedroom. “Sleep well.” he said after he withdrew. She retreated back to the guest room as quickly as she could manage without running and closed the door behind her. She released the breath she had been holding as she closed her eyes trying to calm her racing heart, slow her racing mind. Her phone was buzzing with more messages but she ignored them setting an alarm instead. She tucked herself into the bed trying not to let her mind wander. She had come close to- She rolled onto her side. She couldn’t focus on what she had almost done. Or what she had wanted to do. She rolled onto her other side. This night hadn’t felt real and she wasn’t entirely sure she wasn’t going to wake up tomorrow to find it had all been a dream. Kylo had said all the right words, done all the right things exactly as if she had written him instructions. The memory of his mouth sent a buzz through her and she knew she had to stop.

What she could focus on was what to do next. Poe was lying to her, dream or not. She didn’t know if he had crossed the line but something was broken between the two of them. She had to decide if it was wanted to repair it…or if she wanted to build something new. Kylo wanted to help her..or he just wanted to play white knight. She honestly couldn’t tell. Sleep was already pulling her down and she couldn’t fight it much longer. But if she dreamed about Kylo, that wasn’t her fault, was it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to hold this until Wednesday and then realized I won't be home to post it! You're welcome. Also follow me on Tumblr at Caliblair where I post all my writing frustrations and mood-board gifsets.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a good weekend with another chapter!

Rey woke before her alarm the next morning. The sun had only begun to rise when she slid out of Kylo’s clothes changing back into her own. She tiptoed back to his front door, sliding on her shoes and lifting her coat off the rack. The apartment looked different in the morning light, all hard edges, metal, leather, and glass. She looked around again. She didn’t belong in places like this.

On the subway ride to her apartment she finally looked through the messages from Poe, the first asking if she was still at the office, the next asking where she was, then a series of “Where are you?” “Is everything ok?” She felt worse with every message. The few others on the train were construction workers drinking coffee from styrofoam cups, nurses yawning as they scrolled through their phones and a few women wearing tight dresses, high heels in hand, eating breakfast from greasy paper bags. She wondered what they thought of her. She had not technically cheated on Poe…but she had come damn close. Her stomach churned at the thought of what she had nearly done. She and Poe had three years together. He had picked her up when she was down, let her move in, fetched her crackers and soup when she was sick. He was the one who had convinced Leia to interview her, despite her resume. And Kylo…He was a fantasy. The fancy car, the penthouse apartment, that would never be her. Maybe she was fun for him right now but she saw the way he tore through relationships, leaving heartbroken models and actresses in his wake. And the danger of dating her boss…Was she really ready to blow up her life for a fling that might only last a few weeks?

She mulled that thought over and over as she stood in line to order a pair of bagels and coffees before heading to her apartment. She hesitated outside her door taking a deep breath before coming in. She closed the door quietly dropping her keys beside Poe’s in the bowl. The Golden Palace bags were no longer on the table, but her bag still sat on the chair. She went through the basket of clean laundry in the living room, extracting a pair of jeans and a clean shirt, stuffing the clothes she pulled off to the bottom of the hamper. She was rolling up the sleeves of her shirt when Poe stumbled out of their bedroom, bleary-eyed and hair in a tangled mass.

“Rey!” he said. “You’re here!”

“Of course I am.” she said. “Just grabbed bagels. I said I would get them.”

“Where were you last night?” he said trying to look her in the eye but she wouldn’t look back.

“Where were you?” she said back

“I was at trivia night.” he said without hesitation. “Where were-“

“I called Rose last night.” she cut him off. “She told me that you ended up skipping trivia night. You told them you were headed home for an early night.” Poe froze, his mouth open but no words came out.

“Was the Golden Palace still good by the time you got home? I grabbed it for you on the way home from work.” she said looking at him through the mirror as she pulled a brush through her hair. “I know the egg rolls are only really good when they’re hot.”

“Ye-yeah.” he said. “The egg rolls were a loss but…everything else was fine.”

“Good.” she said. “Your bagel is on the table.”

“Rey-“

“Poe.” she said finally looking directly at him. “Do you really want to talk about where either of us was last night? Or do you just wanna eat your bagel and forget about it?” He was clearly conflicted. He felt betrayed but knew he didn’t have a leg to stand on when it came to being honest.

“You went all the way to Bo’s?” he said after a beat of silence pulling his wrapped bagel from the bag.

“I know you like their everything bagels best.” she said pulling out her own sesame bagel with sun dried tomato cream cheese from the bag. They ate their bagels in silence as they finished getting ready. 

They didn’t speak on the subway either or on the walk through the lobby. Once they were alone in the elevator her turned to her taking her hand in his and pulling her close. “Rey, if you did something last night, you can tell me.” She looked back at him considering his pleading brown eyes.

“Poe,” she said after a moment. “If you did something last night, or in Atlantic City, or on Labor Day weekend or at your college reunion in Connecticut, you can tell me. Or we can both stop asking questions, and go forward from here.” The color drained from his face as she spoke and she pulled her hands out of his grasp. “But I have never lied to you. I don’t know if you can say the same and…I don’t want to.”

“Rey-“ he said

“I don’t want to know.” she repeated. “Because I know I still love you. Something is clearly broken between the two of us but I want to fix it. Let’s just…forget about last night and all the other nights. Let’s have dinner just the two of us tonight. We can talk and figure this all out. Is that what you want?”

“Of course I do.” he said. “Of course I want you, I love you too. Dinner tonight sounds great.” He pulled her close kissing her softly as the elevator doors opened. She pulled back instinctively. They had always both been careful about PDA in the office, but as she looked up to make sure no one had seen she found herself looking up at Kylo. She could have sworn the elevator dropped at least ten stories the way her stomach sank. “Sorry Mr. Ren,” said Poe, clearly reading her shock as embarrassment. “We’ll keep that to non-business hours.”

“Thank you Mr. Dameron,” he said, not looking at Poe, instead staring straight at Rey. “Please see that you do as well Ms. West.” He stepped aside to let them onto the elevators, stepping on himself as they passed him.

“Sorry Mr. Ren.” said Rey looking back at him. She wanted to say more, to explain, but the doors shut and he was gone.

“Hey guys,” said Finn as Rey and Poe found their desks. “We missed you at trivia.”

“Yeah did you two have fun last night?” said Rose stirring her coffee.

“Just some Golden Palace and Netflix.” said Rey. “Nothing mind-blowing.” Poe nodded and they both sat. Rey tried to settle into her normal routine, putting in her headphones and checking her inbox. It was a little easier, knowing Kylo- Mr. Ren wasn’t in the office. And she had a very big conversation with Poe looming over her. But she had made her choice.

The day seemed to fly by, the clock seeming to know that Rey was dreading the end of the day. If the day could only feel a little bit longer, if she could have more time to put her thoughts in order- As if summoned there by some vast sense of irony, Kylo came through the elevator then, and the clock seemed to nearly stop as they locked eyes again.As he passed her she worked not to stare and an alert on her screen helped her look away. 

_Flyboy:I thought we could pick up Tartina’s on the way home tonight for dinner. Sound good? I’ll order ahead ;)_

_ReyofSun: Sounds perfect. You know my favorites. Get extra parmesan._

_Flyboy: And extra garlic bread too. I know._

It was silly but the exchange gave her some reassurance. Poe and she had history, a routine. In three years he knew her so well, her favorite restaurant, her favorite order. That she didn’t like mayo on her turkey- Her eyes flicked up to Kylo’s office door as he closed it.

The end of the day came quickly and she packed her bag. It was odd to be leaving the office with everyone else instead of staying until it was empty. “Ready?” said Poe standing in front of her desk. 

“Yep.” she said. “Just let me…” she wrote herself a note on a post-it to jog her memory. “Ready.” He put his arm around her shoulder beginning to lead her to the elevator.

“Re- Ms. West.” She froze looking over her shoulder to Kylo who was standing in the doorway of the office. Poe lifted his hands from her in a pose of mock surrender.

“My hands were north of the equator, I swear.” said Poe with his trademark smirk in place.

“That’s not why I stopped you.” he said. 

“Good,” said Poe dropping his arm down to Rey’s shoulders again. It weighed on her like concrete. 

“I was hoping Ms. West could stay and finish her piece on the film festival in time to post for this weekend.” he said. He had never explicitly asked her to stay late in the office and he had certainly never acknowledged her late nights in front of other employees. 

“Sorry,” said Rey reaching up across her to interlace her fingers with Poe’s. “But Poe and I have plans tonight. It’ll be done by Monday.”

“I guess it can wait.” said Kylo. “Have a nice weekend Ms. West.”

“You too.” said Rey and let Poe lead her through the elevator door. She looked over her shoulder in time to see Kylo slam his office door but the doors shut before she could see more. Poe didn’t seem to notice.

Poe and Rey decided to eat first, and have the serious talk later. As they ate they and fell into their usual small talk Rey realized how long it had been since they had a night like this. As he let her have the last bite of tiramisu she leaned on her hand looking at him. “We used to do this all the time,” she said. “Order in, just sit and talk about nothing.”

“It has been awhile.” he said refilling both of their wine glasses, emptying the bottle. “But we’re both just so busy, it’s hard to find the time.”

“But we have to make time.” she said taking a drink. “We have to decide that this is worth making time for.”

“Of course it is.” he said. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel like you’re not. You are so important to me Rey. When we talk about our future that’s not just talk to me..”

“I know I’ve been extra busy.” she said. “Just with everything changing at work and people losing jobs-“

“I know.” he said. “You just want to be careful. And maybe I’m too relaxed. Maybe I should be working longer hours too, not just leaving you at the office to work alone all night.” 

“All I know is that I love you.” she said. “And while I’m not glad we fought, I’m glad it lead to this talk.”

“Me too.” he said. “And you know I love you too. I’m sorry I haven’t been honest with you.” Rey took a deep breath trying to figure out how to say what she needed to say next.

“When I see those photos of you online with other girls,” Poe winceduncomfortably. “It used to make me feel like I wasn’t as important to you as them. But after last night I realize how easy it is to slip up and get close to making a really horrible mistake. The difference is, we both stopped before we crossed the line.” She squeezed his hand. She was hoping Poe had stopped himself before he had crossed the line but she wasn't going to question it. She knew Poe wanted to ask more but knew it would require him to provide more details too.

“Exactly.” he concluded. “And that we both wanted to work on this.” He lifted his glass to hers. “To keeping it working.”

She lifted her glass to meet his. “To coming back to each other.” They toasted their glasses and both finished the last of the wine.

“You know what else we haven’t done in awhile?” said Poe reaching out to wipe a drop of wine from her lip. 

“Bought new toothbrushes?” she said kissing the tip of his thumb.

“Not quite.” he said pulling her to her feet. 

“Cleaned out the fridge?” she said smirking as he started walking her towards their bedroom.

“Almost.” he said.

“Flipped the mattress?” she said as he pulled her close to him.

“Is that what people are calling it these days?”he said before he kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him as his hands found her waist. It really had been awhile since they’d done this but they fell into it like it had been no time at all. He pulled her shirt over her head as she unbuttoned his shirt in an effortless give and take. They fell into bed soon, Rey laying over Poe as he kissed her gently. He entered her smoothly as fingertips traced down her spine. He murmured into her ear. “You’re so incredible.” Poe always handled her like glass, like she might break.

She rolled them over so she was on top looking down at him. “You’re not so bad yourself.” She gripped his shoulders moving her hips faster against him.

“Hey, hey no need to rush this.” he said. “We have the whole weekend, we can take our time.”

“The whole weekend?” she said. “Aren’t we ambitious?”

“Maybe just optimistic.” he said. “But it won’t stop me from trying.” She smiled and leaned down to kiss him. He rolled them over again putting her on her back again.

“I always admired your persistence.” she said. She reached up gripping the hair at the nape of his neck pulling him down to her.

“No need to manhandle me.” he said pulling her hand off of him.

“Sorry.” she said. “Just can’t get enough of you.” They had sex the way they had for the last three years. Slow and gentle, Poe dropping soft kisses over her skin as Rey held tight to him. 

He fell asleep quickly after and Rey sat up on her elbow watching him as his chest rose and fell. This was the right choice, he was the right choice. Poe and she had a future together, one that was solid and sure. She had almost made an enormous mistake, but maybe it had to happen that way to show her this. She lay on Poe’s chest and his arm came up to wrap around her almost automatically. She settled in but as she drifted off she had to admit, that the last thought that crossed her mind was the way Kylo had looked at her when she’d left with Poe.


	7. Chapter 7

The following weeks flew by. Rey had more dinners with Poe and met with Finn and Rose for more happy hours. They started another streak as trivia champions and she stopped checking Poe and his friends’ social media. She made sure she left work every day at 5:30 on the dot. She only spoke to Mr. Ren about deadlines and coffee stirrers but she didn’t have to see him much. Ever since the night she had spent at his apartment he was barely in the office. He was always at a meeting or on trips, saying now that things were stable with the Empire he needed to focus more on his other businesses. 

She and Poe spent more time talking and working on their relationships. They never talked about the night she hadn’t come home and she never asked him about all the other nights. Things were back to the way they should be. She had her friends and her boyfriend back in her life and her boss was just her boss. Her computer pinged several times in a row and she quickly clicked over to her messenger window.

_FinnTastic: Boss is back from Seattle, look busy!_

_ReallyRose: Scramble the jets! Alert the navy!_

_FlyBoy: Take cover! Dark cloud incoming!”_

Rey looked up in spite of her better judgment expecting to see Kylo moving swiftly past her to his office but he was standing squarely in front of her desk as if he had been waiting for her to look up. “Rey,” he said as she quickly pulled out her headphones. “I need to speak with you in my office.”

“Sure.” she said. “When did you want to talk?” She opened her calendar on her desktop scanning for free time slots but really to avoid having to look at him.

“Now.” he said and continued past her desk without another word. She stood looking at her friends who were all staring wide-eyed back at her. She walked to Kylo’s office her stomach churning. She must have spent dozens of nights in that office working with him. She hadn’t felt any kind of apprehension in that room since her first assessment but now her stomach churned at the idea of being alone in a room with him. She stepped into his office and before her other foot could cross the threshold he said, “Close the door.” She hesitated before she shut it looking at him.

“Kylo, whatever we had going on is over. You can’t just summon me in here, in front of everyone, whenever-“

“I wanted to talk to you about your promotion.” he said pulling a file from his drawer placing it on top of a thick stack of papers that were stapled together.

“Oh.” she said. “Oh. I-“ She sat across from him. “I thought that wasn’t happening anymore, it had been so long since we first talked about it.”

“I just had to reshuffle some other things around, see what spots freed up with people quitting and relocating.” he said. “I had the offer drawn up this afternoon.” He opened the folder extracting a single sheet of paper. “I’ll let you look over it.” Rey took the paper he handed her reading it over. 

The paperwork read, after several boilerplate paragraphs about the company: Rey West, after 2 years of employment with Empire Incorporated Media has far exceeded the expectations of her role as an Editor. We elect to promote her to the position of- “Managing Editor?” she said looking up at Kylo. “I thought I was just going to be promoted to Senior Editor.”

“You’ve earned it.” he said. “You put in the work, you take initiative and you’re an excellent mentor to our junior writers. You would make an excellent Managing Editor.” He passed her the thick stack of papers. “These are all the full details of the offer including your new responsibilities. Please read through it and give me an answer by the end of the day. We want to make a formal announcement by tomorrow.”

“It might take some time.” she said flipping through the stack. “And I have deadlines today that I need to meet.

“That’s alright.” he said. “And again, please don’t speak about this to anyone. I don’t want rumors floating around before things are official.”

“Oh,” she said. “Then, I guess I’ll stay until I have an answer for you.” She stood, taking the contract in the folder. “I’ll be sure to read this thoroughly, make sure I’m clear on everything.” 

“I know you will.” he said. “You’ve made yourself very clear.” She looked at him as she stood up before leaving his office. Right as she opened the folderback at her desk to begin scanning the contract Poe came over to her. She closed the folder trying to look casual. 

“Hey,” said Poe pretending to show her his notes on the traveling on a budget piece. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah.” she said. “I-I’m fine.” She placed her hand over the folder making sure none of the edges peeked out as she pretended to read over Poe’s notes.

“What’s that?” he said, eyes flicking over to the folder as he flipped to another page of his own notes. 

“Uh, Mr. Ren needs my help collecting some pieces from the archive.” she said tucking in the edge of the first page to hide a line of type. “And organizing them a bit for a presentation.” Poe’s eyes flicked over to the folder again then back to her. 

“Alright.” he said taking back his notes. “If you say so. I just wanted to make sure after the Prince of Darkness-“

“I’m fine.” she said cutting him off. “And I have a lot of work to do with this project.” She put her headphones in and continued working on her piece on a new food truck festival in the outer boroughs. Poe considered her for a moment before returning to his desk, dropping down his notepad with a smack to his desk. 

Rey’s eyes scanned her screen without taking in the words. She was lying to Poe, but she had to. It was for work and he would know tomorrow, one way or another. She looked up at Poe and his eyes were locked on the folder on her desk. There was no way she could read through the contract with him in the office. She moved her other notes on her desk around, shifting her contract to the bottom of the pile. She would have to wait until Poe left.

…

“Come on Rey we were supposed to grab drinks tonight.” said Poe a few hours later.

“I can’t.” she said. “I have to finish this work for the presentation. I’ll finish as fast as I can but I can’t go now. Ask Finn and Rose to go and I’ll try to meet up later.” 

“If he wanted this work done by tomorrow he should have given it to you last week.” said Poe. “Go to his office and tell him he can wait or do it himself!”

“Poe.” she said. “I’m not going to do that. I should be done in an hour, so just go.”

“You can’t let people just boss you around-“

“Alright, I’ll work on that starting now.” she said. “Poe, leave and let me work!” Poe rolled his eyes and turned walking out of the office.

“Fine!” he shouted over his shoulder. Rey exhaled and as the elevator doors closed and double checked that the office was empty. Mr. Ren was in his office on a phone call but they were the last ones left. Just like they used to do all those weeks ago. 

She pulled out the contract and began to read. It detailed the expectations of a managing editor, the assignments she would cover, who would work under her, a group (which she soon discovered) included Poe. She would be managing Poe, giving him assignments, keeping him on deadline and giving final approval to his pieces. She flipped through the other pages, reading about conferences she would attend, press releases she would cover and access to events she would be given.

She flipped to the final page that had the final numbers, her first day, her new stock portfolio, her 401K and her salary. She closed the folder leaning back in her chair. Her salary would more then double if she took this job. She would finally get to work on serious pieces, control her assignments. This was a huge step forward in her career and it would open so many doors. This was her dream job. 

She opened the contract again and swiftly filled out the information except for the final signature. She stood and walked back to Mr. Ren’s office knocking on the door. “Come in, Ms. West.” he said.

She stepped in closing the door behind her. “I finished reading this. The offer is incredibly generous and this job is my dream. But I have a few more questions before I can accept, Mr. Ren.”

“Of course.” he said sitting back. “Ask away.”

She sat across from him. “Uh, I see that I’m required to attend the conference in Toronto that’s taking place in a few weeks but, I don’t have a passport so I don’t think I’ll be able to attend.” 

“There are ways of rushing those applications.” he said. “But of course if it doesn’t happen in time you won’t be penalized.”

“I also saw that the new insurance won’t begin until the first of next month but the start date on here is this month.”

“We typically consider the first 30 days a trial period so the insurance and stock portfolio would be held until then. But all other benefits would begin once you accepted the offer, including salary.”

“Ok, last question.” she said. “This promotion…Is this offer any different than one that anyone else would get for this job?”

“Well every offer is different, the responsibilities are split depending on our needs at the time-“ he began his eyes on the contract.

“Kylo,” she said softly and he looked up at her his jaw tight. She hadn’t called him anything but Mr. Ren since that night. “Is this the same offer you would give to…anyone but me? I don’t want to think that this promotion or that this salary is-“

“You have earned every part of this promotion, Rey.” he said and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep her expression unchanged. She’d become so accustomed to ‘Ms. West’ she’d nearly forgotten how he said her name.

“I just- I know I didn’t really give you any explanation and that I must have been sending all kinds of mixed signals.”

“As far as I’m concerned, none of it happened.” he said. “And I think it would be best if we both got on that page.”

“Alright. Then I have my decision.” She opened the contract to the last page and signed her name then stood and reached out to shake his hand. He stood and took her hand shaking it firmly. 

“The Empire is a better company for it.” he said. “We will announce it tomorrow and-“ 

“Please keep it quiet until then.” she said. “I know.” He released her hand and she picked up her bag. “Thank you very much, Mr. Ren.”

“You’re welcome Ms.West.” 

She wanted to say more but she also knew he wanted this to be over. It was the same thing she had wanted from Poe, to act like it had never happened and move on. “I should go.” He nodded and sat back down as she stepped away. She stopped at his doorframe looking back at him. “I really do appreciate everything you’ve done for me,” she said.

“You’ve earned it.” he said looking up at her. “It had nothing to do with me.” She nodded with a small smile and then shut the door behind her. She closed her eyes taking a deep breath as she leaned against the door. After taking a beat she moved swiftly across the office picking up her bag as she passed her desk without missing a beat moving to the elevators. After she pressed the button she dug in her bag for her phone, plugging in headphones and quickly selecting a podcast she had been meaning to listen to for weeks. She stepped into the elevator and she let the voices of the two hosts fill her head, keeping her mind busy on the long subway ride home.

She was grateful that Poe was still out with Finn and Rose by the time she got home, that way she could be asleep before he got home and started asking questions. She got ready for bed quickly, nearly inhaling her microwaved leftovers, rushing through her nightly shower and climbing into bed. But she had just settled into the mattress when she heard the front door open and she turned over, shutting her eyes. She heard the door open then close quietly, Poe checking to make sure she was home before she heard him start to shuffle around the living room.

She felt bad keeping secrets from him again but this was different, this was for work, and he would know everything tomorrow. Once her promotion was announced everything would be cleared. He wouldn’t question her late hours at the office, she could explain what she’d had to withhold tonight and they’d be better than ever. Maybe with her new raise, they could move to an apartment closer to the office, maybe a place with a second bedroom as they planned their futures. And maybe if she kept thinking like that she’d be able to forget how Kylo said her name.


	8. Chapter 8

It had taken a bit more awkward ducking the next morning to avoid Poe’s questions the next morning but they’d made it back to the office without her revealing anything. She had taken a little extra time choosing her clothing and twisting her hair up and now she sat at her desk anxiously tapping her ring and middle finger on the arms of her chair. She was checking her email, organizing her desktop, deleting old notes, brainstorming new story ideas knowing she would be useless doing any real work until she could relax. Once the announcement came she could finally unwind. But Mr. Ren’s office had been empty all morning and for some reason that had her on edge.

The elevator doors opened and she looked up automatically to see if it was him like she had each time it had opened all day. Instead, she saw a small group of people in dark suits coming into the office but she didn’t recognize any of them. The elevator emptied and Kylo stepped out last. He gestured to their largest conference room and they followed him in almost silently. She quickly opened her messenger but her friends were already chatting.

_ReallyRose: Who the hell are all the suits?_

_FinnTastic: Don’t any of you read the corporate newsletter?_

_ReyOfSun: Who the hell reads the corporate newsletter?_

_FlyBoy: Finn apparently._

_FinnTastic: It’s the senior board members of Kylo Ren’s company._

_ReallyRose: Why would the board of his whole company come to the Empire?_

_FlyBoy: Probably to shut us down and then toast with the tears of newly unemployed._

_ReyofSun: Come on, they wouldn’t have the board come in for that._

_FlyBoy: Yeah, they’d do it all by email. Or text. Or paper airplane. What’s cheapest?_

An email pinged into her inbox and Rey checked it quickly. It was sent to the whole company from Kylo Ren’s email.

**Apologies for short notice,**

**The full staff of the Empire is requested in the main conference room for a brief meeting. The meeting will begin at 11:30.**

_Flyboy: Told ya. 11:30-walk in 11:31-you’re all fired 11:32- scotch and cigars on the private jet for the board._

_ReallyRose:I thought we were just kidding! Should we really be worried?_

_FinnTastic: I mean the board of a billion dollar company doesn’t show up to pass out stickers and balloons. It’s something._

_ReyofSun: Guys, it’s probably nothing. The meeting is in 5 anyway._

Rey closed the chat window as the other three continued to speculate. She had to admit she was a little nervous too. There was no way the entire board of his company had showed up for her promotion announcement. There had to be more. But she also knew the Empire wasn’t going anywhere. They wouldn’t bother promoting people in a company circling the drain.

She stood and headed towards the conference room with the rest of the office. As the 40 or so employees found their seats she looked at Mr. Ren as she choose a seat on an aisle but near the back. He seemed…anxious, like he wanted to squirm but wouldn’t let himself. Poe quickly sat next to her, then Finn and Rose all in a row. The room was buzzing with nervous energy.

“Hello everyone.” said Kylo and room swiftly fell quiet. He gestured to the board members standing to either side of him. “As I’m sure you all know this is the board of my company, Mr. Snoke, Ms. Phasma and Mr. Hux as well as some junior associates.” Each nodded as he announced their name but there wasn’t a smile among them. “Now, onto what I’m sure most of you care about, the reason for this meeting.”

“No,” said Poe under his breath leaning into Rey. “We all live to sit and stare at you and the black suit brigade.” Rey didn’t acknowledge him and he settled into his seat brow furrowed.

“I understand that my purchase of the Empire created some stress within this office. I know you were all anxious about how things would change. While some truly great employees have chosen to move on I believe the staff we have will create truly incredible work. I know I have been the bearer of bad news in this office for weeks on several occasions and I’m glad that I finally have some good news to share.” He stepped forward, out of line of the rest of the board members. “With the way the remaining staff has settled, I knew we needed to find new leadership. In looking for a new managing editor, I wanted to make sure it was someone who had the Empire’s best interests in mind, someone who really cared about the work.”

“I bet you bagels for a week,” said Poe leaning towards Finn. “That he’s hiring one of his Armani suit clones.”

“Deal.” said Finn. “I bet it’s someone he poached from Vanity Fair or Variety.”

“And the Empire’s profile has risen significantly over the past few years,” said Kylo. “And we’ve had interest from writers from Rolling Stone and GQ.” Finn raised his eyebrows at Poe as if to say ‘told you so’. “And I’m happy to announce our new managing editor. Rey West.” He gestured towards Rey and the entire room turned to face her. She kept her eyes forward not able to look at anyone yet, and especially not at Poe. “It was important to me to promote from within and to reward people who have put in the work which to lead this current success.” He nodded towards her, clearly giving her the floor. After an awkward moment, she stood stepping into the aisle.

“Thank you.” she said half to the board and Kylo, and half to her coworkers. “I’m really honored by this promotion and I hope I can add to the Empire’s successes.”

“So do we.” said the board member Kylo had introduced at Mr, Hux who had been staring her down since Kylo had announced her name. Rose and Finn began to clap excitedly and the rest of the office joined in as well. Rey’s face flushed pink as she mumbled a thank you and sat. She looked at Poe out of the corner of her eye and while Finn and Rose were leaning across him to congratulate her Poe was still staring forward at Kylo, but clapping all the same.

“Well, I promised I would only keep you a brief time.” said Kylo. “Please head back to your desks. Ms.West could you please come here, I’d like you to meet the board.” She nodded but as she moved to stand Poe gripped her arm.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me about this?” he said his voice low.

“I’ll tell you in a minute.” she said laying her hand over his. “I have to go talk to the board now.” She pried his grip off of her arm and moved towards the front of the conference room. She was thankful she had taken the time to dress nicely but as she tugged the hem of the light green button up shirt straight smoothing her dark grey jacket over it as she walked to the front. “Thank you again, Mr. Ren, for giving me this promotion,” she said shaking his hand first.

“I gave you nothing.” he said. “You earned it.” She smiled at him and turned to face the other board members.

“So nice to meet you.” she said shaking each of their hands as the room emptied. They all gave curt nods as she did but they all seemed to be studying her as they did. They were the only ones left in the conference room by the time she got to Mr. Snoke last and she couldn’t help but notice how cold his hands were.

“Mr. Snoke has been with me the longest.” said Kylo. “He helped me purchase my first company.”

“He has a natural instinct for business.” said Snoke looking at Kylo laying a hand on his shoulder. “Which is why I was so surprised when he presented you for this promotion.” She felt the shock register on her face but quickly put a smile in place.

“I’m sorry?” she said, sure she must have misheard.

“Well, you’re clearly so inexperienced.” said Hux.

“I know I look young,” she said trying not to be offended but it wasn’t quite working. “But I’ve been working in journalism for over 5 years-“

“Ah yes, an internet blog and then 2 years at JakkuHub correct?” said Mr. Snoke. 

“Yes but-“ she started but couldn’t really argue the point. “I-“

“Glad you hired such a wordsmith to be an editor,” said Mr. Hux. “Definitely on par with the candidate I presented to you from Time Magazine.”

“And Managing Editor is a leadership position. Any experience actually getting people to listen to you?” said Ms. Phasma.

“I mentor several junior writers.” she said. “And I’ve worked with plenty of organizations working on my series.”

“Not exactly the same as management though,” said Ms. Phasma. Rey looked at her, still not able to find words. She looked to Kylo wishing he had prepared her for this, warned her.

“You see Kylo.” said Mr. Snoke. “This is why you needto run these kinds of decisions by the board. “She’s entirely unqualified.”

“Rey- Ms. West is more than-“ Kylo started.

“We’ll call in some of the more qualified candidates and begin interviews. I believe Hux said he had a niece coming out of Columbia who would be interested.” said Mr. Snoke. “In no time-“

“I am not unqualified.” said Rey cutting him off. “I may not have worked for the New York Times or won a Pulitzer but I have at the Empire for almost 2 and a half years. In that time my series have won two New York Press Club awards. I was Section Editor of my college newspaper and went to college on a full scholarship for journalism. I know scholarship is probably a four letter word to you and the rest of the Versace mafia but I have earned this promotion. And if you try to take this promotion from me after announcing in front of the whole company you will find out just how good I am at getting people to do what I want.” She spat out the last words. 

She was sick of always trying to prove herself to people like this, people who spent more money on their suits then she did on rent, people who when to private schools and whose parents ran Fortune 400 companies and bought them everything they needed. She had scrimped and saved and worked countless sleepless nights to get here. And she wasn’t going to let them take it from her to pass it off to some spoiled Ivy League brat. 

“As you can see,” said Kylo. “Rey is more than qualified and more than motivated to take on this role.” He lay his hand on the small of her back and she had to admit the touch helped ground her. He was on her side and he would not let his board take this from her. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves. He had said is before all they could do was ‘bitch and moan and call more meetings’. She saw Mr. Hux notice the gesture and his eyes narrowed as he looked.

“I will be an incredible Managing Editor for the Empire.” said Rey. 

“And I’m sure your team will want to treat you to lunch.” said Kylo. “Don’t rush, there will be plenty of time for work later.” He used his hand to turn her towards the door.

“Thank you, Mr. Ren.” she said looking up at him. “I promise, we will make sure the toasts are nothing stronger than iced tea until after work.”

As she left the conference room Finn and Rose ambushed her. “Oh my god!” said Rose. “Congrats!”

“I knew it, I knew when Poe introduced you, you were gonna be amazing!” said Finn giving her a hug so tight her feet nearly left the floor.

“Thank you.” said Rey with a genuine smile. “And Mr. Ren said we can take an early lunch to celebrate, so let’s go to that bistro on 6th before the lunch rush hits.” She walked towards the elevator but realized Poe wasn’t following along with Finn and Rose. She turned and saw he was still sitting at his desk. “Hold the elevator,” she said heading towards Poe. “Hey,” she said coming over to the front of his desk.

“Hey.” he said not looking up from his computer.

“We’re heading out to lunch.” she said. “Come on.”

“Nice of you to loop me in.” he said standing but walking past her without looking at her. 

He sat at the opposite end of the table through lunch and as Finn and Rose asked endless questions he stabbed at his food, eating silently, speaking only to ask for more refills. 

When they all returned to the office the board members were gone and she had an email waiting from Kylo.

**Ms.West.**

**I apologize for the things my board members said to you. As my mentors and advisors, they only want the best for the business and sometimes forget how they come off. I have confidence you will more than live up to the task at hand.**

It was followed by the corporate newsletter which announced her promotion. It had a link to her latest series and included the horrendous photo she had taken for her ID on her first day. She was happy and horrified at all at once.

She spent the rest of the day planning out the assignments she would give out and how best to manage her schedule with her new responsibilities. Throughout the day she got emails, texts, and messages from her coworkers, and even some messages from people from her college. But each time she looked up at Poe and saw his cold expression her smile faltered. She sent him a message.

_ReyofSun: I thought all four of us could go to that new beer garden, my treat. You in?_

_Flyboy: Can’t. I have work I need to finish. But you’re the boss. You knew that._

_ReyofSun: What is that supposed to mean? You’re not making sense._

_ReyloSun: Poe, come on._

_ReyofSun:?_

_Flyboy has signed out._

She looked up. Had he really just signed off like she wasn’t sitting six feet from him. She stood walking over to his desk. “Come to the break room and get coffee with me,” she said.

“I’m good, I don’t need any caffeine.” he said not looking up.

“Poe.” she said hitting a key on his keyboard to activate his screensaver. “Please."

“Whatever boss.” he said standing and plodding ahead of her to the kitchen. He dropped a cup under the nozzle in the machine and pressed start. “Ok, what?”

“That’s what you’re going to go with? ‘What’?” she said. “Why are you acting like this?” 

“You make me find out about, that,” he said pointing to the conference room. “With everyone else? No warning, no discussion, no checking in with me.”

“I’m sorry did I need your permission to accept a job?” she said. “I must have missed when we stepped through the portal to 1950.”

“I’m not talking about permission.” he said. “But I’m your boyfriend, we talk through things like this. I mean, you turned buying a laptop into a three-day summit and choosing where to order dinner from into a TED Talk. But this, a giant life-changing career decision and-“ He grabbed his coffee as it finished dispensing reaching pulling out several packets of sugar and tearing them in half to add to his cup.

“It wasn’t a snap decision.” she said putting down her own cup. “I’ve known about this promotion for weeks, I just found out the details and made it all official yesterday.”

“So you have known for weeks,” he said. “And I’m just now finding out about it?”

“Mr. Ren asked me to keep it quiet.” she said. “With all of the restructuring and people quitting and getting fired it wasn’t always a sure thing, so he wanted-“

“Since when do you follow orders?” he said. “You snuck into fashion week when you couldn’t get press passes, waited out a whole day in the first class lounge at JFK to get a quote from the senator, hell, when you were at JakkuHub you stole a valet vest to get inside that director's car!”

“This is different.” she said. “This is-“

“And you’ve only been here 2 years.” he said. “I was here for a year before you but you get promoted and I-“

“Oh my god.” said Rey staring at him. “You’re not mad I didn’t tell you. You’re mad because you think I don’t deserve this job.”

“I didn’t say that.” he said and left the kitchen before she could respond. She added milk to her coffee staring at it as she stirred. She knew Poe was impulsive and hot-headed sometimes but she’d never seen him like this. And she’d always thought of him as supportive of her career. He was always happy to help her with a story or look over her drafts. He’d even got her this job, well, he’d gotten her the interview. But he was so clearly upset that she’d gotten this job over him. She walked back to her desk sipping at her coffee, her mind spinning. She sent the innovation to the beer garden to Finn, Rose, and Poe in a group email and Finna and Rose replied quickly. Poe still said nothing.

When the day came to an end she walked up to his desk before leaving. “Come on Poe, we got a reservation on the roof. Please?”

“I told you I have work to do.” he said not looking up at her.

“Come on Poe!” said Finn coming up behind her. “Moneybags here said she’s treating!” Rey winced knowing her money was the last thing Poe wanted to hear about. 

“Can’t make it.” said Poe grinning up at Finn. “You know I wouldn’t turn down a free drink if I had a choice.” Rey stared at the smile he was giving Finn. This was just like him, to be pissy to her and then pretend nothing was wrong for everyone else. 

“Ok.” she said as Finn walked away. “Text me if you finish up ahead of time. We’ll see if you can meet up with us.” 

“Uh huh.” said Poe, his smile dissolving and his eyes shifting back to his screen.

…

Rey made an effort to smile as her friends toasted her with overpriced microbrews. “To Rey West!” said Rose. “New boss in the office!”

“I’m not the boss.” said Rey. “I’m a manager. There are still plenty of people in charge of me.”

“Stop doing that!” said Rose. “You worked hard and you earned this.”

“Really?” said Rey looking between her and Finn. 

“What’s on your mind?” said Finn. “You’ve been acting weird all night.”

“I just-“ she sent down her pint glass. “I know some people think I haven’t earned it. They think I haven’t been here long enough, I haven’t paid my dues. I mean you’ve all been here longer than me.”

“Yeah,” said Rose. “But you work harder than any of us. And you really want a job in journalism. For me this is just a job, something to make money whileI work on my screenplay. You _kill_ yourself for your stories. You do tons of research, you come up with tons of original series.”

“And your stuff wins awards.” said Finn. “It’s not like my story on which real housewife is on parole this week is setting the world on fire.”

“You stay late in the office all the time while the rest of us go to trivia nights and take 2-hour lunches for manicures.” said Rose. “Rey anyone who doesn’t think you earned this job is a moron.”

“Ok, ok!” said Rey. “It’s fine, I believe in myself, I am woman hear me roar, let the river run, I get it!”

“Good.” said Finn. “Now let’s get you another drink and see if Poe is done yet.”

“I’ll get another drink.” she said turning away from the table towards the bar. 

“I’ll text Poe,” said Rose grabbing her phone. 

“No, wait!” said Rey but Rose had lighting fast fingers and had already sent her message. _The boss-lady says “Poe better get his ass to the bar before she puts a mark on his personnel file!” Move it!_

_“_ Rose!” said Rey. “You made it sound like I said that. And you made me sound like an asshole.”

“He’ll know it’s a joke.” said Finn. “Come on, I want to try the apricot wheat beer next.” When she and Finn came back to the table Rose handed her the phone. 

“He’s still stuck at the office.” she said. Poe had sent back a photo of him sitting at his desk with an emoji sad face beside him. ‘Too busy working’ he sent with it. Rey took Rose’s phone and after a moment's hesitation zoomed in on the photo. It was nearly 9 pm now but the clock behind him showed barely 6:30. 

Her skin went cold. It was probably nothing, he had taken the photo for social media or something and had just resent it to Rose. She handed Rose back her phone and took a deep swig of her beer before pulling out her own phone.She hadn’t done this in weeks but she opened his social media flipping through his latest posts. He had posted the same photo he’d sent to Rose on his Instagram just under a minute ago. She then went to his friend's photos and saw his friend Bastian had posted to his story several times in the last hour. She started clicking through them, videos and photos with emojis, effects, and tags of each of the people in them. Her heart started to lift when she didn’t see Poe in any of them. She was being ridiculous. She put her phone down. He was at work, and sure he was mad at her, but he wasn’t lying to her again. They were past that. After several more drinks with Finn and Rose, she told them it was time to head home. But when they all went down into the subway together and went to their separate trains she pulled out her phone again looking through Poe’s photos again, then his friends then the videos of the other people he had tagged. She wasn’t even looking at Poe’s friends now, just anyone she knew was at the bar. She was reaching, she knew it.

She found more and more videos and photos, scanning each one desperately. She got onto her train, sitting to check even more. First a picture of 6 shots on the bar, the next of the DJ booth pulsing with lights, another of a group dancing together, another group singing Happy Birthday, another of a row of guys chugging beers as the crowd cheered, the final one a wide sweep of the bar with blasting music. She ran back the last one again, then, again and again, trying to focus as the phone spun around. Was that Poe with his arm around the redhead? Him sitting at the bar taking a shot? No, none of them were him. She was being paranoid, projecting her own guilt onto him. Maybe she shouldn’t have taken the job, maybe she should tell Poe what had happened with Kylo- Another video was posted by a stranger, as her train pulled away and she clicked on it. She saw Poe kissing a girl with shoulder length blonde hair, his hand on her waist, his other halfway up her shirt. “Feels like I haven’t seen you in so long. Want you to come back to my place,“ she said. “I know baby,” said Poe. “I’ve just been busy- Hey, don’t post that!” He reached out to cover the lens of the screen and she heard whoever was holding the camera say “But she was hot!” and it ended. 

She desperately pushed the play icon again but as the train pulled deeper into the tunnel her phone alerted her that she didn’t have enough signal to view videos. “No!” she hissed stabbing at the screen but it was no use. No matter how many times she watched the video, it would be the same thing. She knew what she had seen. Poe was cheating on her, and he had been for a while based on what she heard. She wondered if he had even stopped when she had been trying to fix things. And she had been tearing herself apart for weeks over a kiss. 

When they finally got to a place with signal she went back to the page, desperate to see the clip again, to find a way to justify it, to make it something else. But it was already deleted. That proved it. If it was nothing, if it was a misunderstanding, Poe wouldn’t have made them delete it. She called him hoping he would pick up, tell her that somehow it wasn’t true, it wasn’t him. Her phone rang once and then went to voicemail. That meant he had rejected her call. She couldn’t give him any more chances, any more ways out. 

She looked up at the subway map quickly, realizing she wanted to change her destination. As she jogged up the steps from the station she felt the cool mist on her. It was close to raining, the sky straining to break free. She moved swiftly down the sidewalk trying to pull her jacket tighter around her but the soft cotton absorbed the water and as she rounded the corner onto the correct street it turned fully from mist to rain. She ran down the block through the stinging cold and ducked into the warm lobby the ends of her hair wet with rain, shivering in her jacket. She stepped into the elevator, pressing the button. She was acting on impulse. She wasn’t thinking it through or considering what might happen. And for once she was going to let her impulse carry her. 

She knocked on the door and her resolve left her for a moment. What if he wasn’t home? What if he was? What if he wasn’t alone? What if another girl answered? What if he was there, alone and he didn’t want her to stay? What if- The door opened and she looked up, rain clinging to her eyelashes. “Kylo.” she said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't cliffhangers fun?


	9. Chapter 9

Kylo looked so different than he had at the office a few hours ago. She was so used to seeing him in a suit, stoic and solid. Tonight he was wearing black pants, a light grey t-shirt and a look of shock. “Rey-“ 

“I made the wrong choice, I should have stayed here with you. I should have chosen you. And maybe it’s too late, maybe I lost my chance but- God, if I’m not too late please give me another chance. Please-“ He cut her off, pulling her into him kissing her hungrily. She felt the rain running down her neck as she put her arms around him. He pulled her inside and as he stepped away to close the door behind them she saw the rain had made dark damp patches on his shirt. She pulled him back into her once the door was locked, kissing him again. 

“I can’t believe you’re here.” he said kissing down her neck. “This doesn’t feel real.” He moved her bag off her shoulder letting it fall to the ground, then pushed her jacket off her shoulders. 

“I know.” she said. “And I’m so sorry about the things I did to you before, for just cutting you off without an explanation. I just- I felt so guilty about what I had done, and I thought if I just stopped it cold it would be easier for both of us.”

“It’s alright.” he said pushing her damp hair off her face. “You don’t have to explain right now.”

“I thought I owed it to him.” she said. “I thought I owed him a chance-“ Kylo kissed her again walking her backward into the living room. “I should have given you a chance.”

“We can take it now.” he said pressing her back into the wall, hands running up her sides. “We can take whatever we want. Just tell me what you want Rey.” He took her hands lifting them above her head and pining them there by the wrists. He kissed her ear, her jaw, her neck, down her collarbones to the swell of her breasts.

“I want you.” she said arching her back pressing herself into him. “I want you, and I want you now.” He all but growled into her skin, releasing her hands to begin working at the buttons of her shirt. She dropped her arms down to help him but he lifted them back to the wall, pinning them in place. 

“Keep them right there.” he said kissing her again pushing her shirt aside. She nodded as he dropped to his knees in front of her. He kissed along the waistband of her jeans, his dark hair brushing her stomach. She wanted to twist her fingers into his dark hair, pull and hear him hiss, feel his teeth on her skin again. She rolled herhips forward, the best she could do while keeping her arms in place. 

“I dreamt about that night so many times.” she said. “What you would have done if I hadn’t stopped you.”

“So have I.” he said unbuttoning her jeans and beginning to slide them down her hips. “God, I want to do everything I dreamed I would.”

“And I want you too.” she said. “Kylo-“

“Say my name again.” he said. “Fuck, I’ve hated hearing you call me Mr. Ren all this time.”

“Kylo.” she said stepping out of her jeans as he threw them aside. “Kylo, Kylo, Kylo.” He ran his hands over her breasts, down her side, over her stomach and down the back of her thighs looking over her body as if he was trying to commit her to memory by sight and touch. 

“You’re so beautiful.” he said looking up at her. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I can’t either.” she said. “I can’t believe you opened the door for me after what I-“

“We don’t have to talk about that.” he said. He stood, lifting her as he did wrapping his legs around her waist and pressing her back into the wall.

“I need to explain.” she said. “I thought after all of our history, I owed Poe a chance to change.” Kylo kissed at her collarbone then dragged his teeth over her throat. “And we talked things through-“

“Does he know about us?” said Kylo his voice low and even but she could feel his hands tighten on her thighs.

“No.” she said. “I didn’t share details. He doesn’t know it was you.” 

“Good.” said Kylo pushing his hips against her. 

“I thought he had changed,” said Rey as Kylo rutted against her inner thigh. “But he’s cheating on me again or maybe he never stopped-“

“Then forget him.” he said into her neck. “Stop thinking about him and focus on yourself.” He pulled her away from the wall, one hand gripping her thigh, the other wrapped around her shoulders. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I want to focus on you.” she said biting at his ear. 

“I guess I can work with that.” he said carrying her back to his bed. “But only if I get to focus on you first.” He dropped her down the bed, As he knelt on the bed leaning over her he stripped off his own shirt, looking hungrily down at her bare skin. The lights in his bedroom blazed bright and while she usually asked Poe to turn the lights down she didn’t feel that way tonight. She wanted Kylo to see her, she wanted to see him, see her. “I’ve imagined you so many times,” he said running his hands up the outside of her thighs, looking her over. 

“Does reality measure up to imagination?” she said studying his face.

“Better.” her said leaning down to kiss her. “Much, much better because you’re here and you’re real and I can touch you.” He gripped her waist tightly digging his fingers in. 

“Kylo please.” she said. “I want- I-“

“What?” he said looking down at her. “Tell me what you want.”

“You.” she said reaching up for him.

“No,” he said pushing her back pinning her wrists back on the bed. “Details. You’re the writer. Use your words, Rey. What do you want?”

“I want your mouth on me.” she said her chest heaving.

“Mhmm,” he hummed running his nose down the center of her chest his tongue tasting her skin. “Have you imagined that?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Knew it would feel so good. I knew you would know just how to do it.”

“You did always have good instincts.” he said and ran his tongue up her center slowly and deliberately his eyes locked on her face. It took every shred of control to keep looking at him, to fight the instinct to close her eyes and let her head fall back. He pressed his mouth against her, tongue pressing deep into her as she let out a high whimper. 

“Kylo-“ she said gripping the sheets. She tried to press her hips up against his mouth but he used a hand to press her down, keeping her in place. He sucked at her clit then thrust his tongue into her over and over, a pale imitation of what she wanted from him. She rocked on the bed moving as much as his grip would allow.

He pulled back to look at her.“I know what you want.” he said. “I know what you need Rey, what you haven’t been getting. I can give it to you. All you have to do is ask.”

“More.” she moaned her hips straining up but her pushed her back down.

“Words, Rey. Specifics.” he said. She let her head fall back with an exasperated moan.

“I- I want your mouth on me.” she said her face flaming red. He looked at her clearly not satisfied. “I- I want your tongue on my clit, I want you to make me come. I want you to fuck me until I can’t leave this bed, so hard you leave bruises.” He smiled then leaned back down his tongue flicking against her tight bundle of nerves. She let her head fall back her body shuddering with the effort to stay still, where he had placed her. “I want to ride you, want you to pull my hair, want to drag my nails down your back. I want everything, I want all of you.” He pressed two fingers inside her as his mouth worked against her. His fingers seemed to flex, beaconing her towards her climax and she obliged crying out as she came against his mouth. She couldn’t stay pinned in place on the bed any longer. She reached down tangling her hand in her dark curls gripping tightly as she rode his face, milking out every second of her orgasm that she could manage, her body tensing up off the bed.

As she finally let her body release and fall back to the bed she opened her eyes to look down at him but he was already hovering over her the rest of his clothes on the floor. She readjusted her gaze swiftly to his face as he unfastened her bra, throwing it to the pile of clothes on the plush carpet. There was nothing between them now but skin and air. “That was a good start.” he said. “But I have so much more in mind.” He gripped her waist and rolled onto his back pulling her on top of him. 

“I want to make you feel good too.” she said her hands on his shoulders.

“You’re here.” he said thrusting his hips into her. She felt him hard underneath her. “I will.”

“No but I want to-“ she said moving to roll onto her back but he held her in place.

“We are gonna do everything you said.” he said. “And trust me, I will feel more than good.” She looked down at him. She wanted so much from him, she always had always wanted so much that she was afraid to ask for. Kylo had her voicing her desires in the heat of the moment but now, actually following through was entirely different.

“I-“ she looked down at him, moving to cross her arms over her chest, suddenly feeling exposed. 

“It’s alright.” he said. “We don’t have to do it all at once. Let’s just start here.” He reached between them stroking himself a few times as he stared at her. He positioned himself at her entrance but stilled himself looking into her eyes. She thought he was doing it to tease her, to draw out the moment a bit longer but soon realized he was waiting for her. She nodded and he slipped inside her. She was still wet from his mouth and her climax but he still stretched her deliciously. She fell forward one hand braced on his headboard, the other on his shoulder. She stayed still for a moment adjusting to the feeling of _him_. She had only had a couple boyfriends before Poe but the three years with him had been her longest relationship by far. She had only had sex with him, had gotten used to how he moved, how he touched her, how he pressed inside her for three years. But Kylo…He had one hand barely touching the small of her back, the other gripping her thigh. His cock touched places inside her she hadn’t known existed. “Are you alright?” he said softly, noticing she had all but frozen in place.

She nodded still silent, her eyes closed now. They had crossed a line now. Whether she stopped now or three hours from now, she had cheated on Poe. She could never undo that, never take it back. She waited for the shame to wash over her, the way it had on the train that morning, for the thought to weigh her down, for her stomach to churn with guilt. But none of it happened. She felt light, like a muscle tensed deep within her had finally released, unburdening her. “Slow,” she managed, finally opening her eyes. “Just, start slow.” She rocked her hips forward slightly pressing him deeper inside her. 

“You set the pace Rey.” he said. “I’ll follow.” She pulled back letting him slide out of her a few inches then rocked forward again. The stretch wasn’t as intense but no less pleasurable. She set a slow rhythm first looking down at him. His hands started to drift, up her spine,hand rubbing up and down her thigh, then to her stomach, up to her breasts. She moved both hands to his shoulders, god, how could he be so enormous, wide hands, broad shoulders, towering over her and still touch her so gently. She started to rock faster, pressing him deeper now her nails digging into his shoulders. She could feel his hips buck underneath her, meeting her pace but straining to go just a little faster. She followed his lead and the sound of skin on skin filled the room punctuated by her high whimper and his deep groan. 

“I can take more.” she said. She pressed her knees into the mattress for more leverage riding him harder. He moved to grip her waist, keeping them together but pressing his hips up into her with more force each time. She had to grip the headboard to keep herself from being bucked off of him entirely. “Kylo-“

“Fuck you’re incredible,” he said. 

“More.” she gasped out, desperately trying to ride him faster, harder but her muscles ached with the effort and she knew she couldn’t keep it up. “Please, I can’t-“ Her muscles started to twitch and quiver under his hands. 

“I know.” he said and sat up holding her against him with one arm, steadying them on the bed with the other. She locked her legs around him, still thrusting but now not in such long thrusts, maintaining their speed.Her skin was red from heat and friction, her cunt ached from their efforts. She gripped his back tightly, her nose against the crook of his neck, teeth scraping his skin. She wanted more of him, wanted to feel him, smell him, taste him, fill all of her senses with him. Tears pooled in her eyes and she didn’t know why. He pulled back to look at her when he felt her hips stutter off of their rhythm. “Woah, woah…” he slowed them moving his hand from the bed to her cheek, thumb brushing away her tears. “Do you need to stop? Am I hurt-“

“I’m fine.” she said brushing at her own eyes. “No I’m fine- I don’t know why-“ And then she knew. She had never had someone care for her in this way, so attuned to what she needed. He didn’t just want her, he wanted her happy, wanted her to feel safe. 

She had thought once that that kind of connection came with some kind of unspoken communication. The myth of not having to speak, of reading each others minds meaning you were more connected. But this, this was better than that because they could talk to each other. She wasn’t afraid to tell him she wanted more, less, harder, faster, slower. She could tell him and he would listen without resenting her, without making her feel guilty. He got as much pleasure from her peace as he did from his own carnal satisfaction. She had never had that, never dreamed she deserved anything like his devotion. “Rey we can stop.”

“No.” she said. “I don’t want that. I want- I want to do all the things I said, but I just can’t right now. I can’t- I don’t want to just- fuck you like this to prove a point. I don’t want to screw, I want-“ There were no right words. ‘Make love’ was too precious and gentle for the two of them. 

“A writer who can’t find her words.” he said. “I seem to have that effect on you.”

“I want to just, _be_ with you.” she said her hand on his face. It still wasn’t quite right, but it was close.

“Then let’s just be.” he said. He moved a hand to the center of her back, readjusting them without disconnecting them. He laid her down into his dark sheets. He moved slowly with her and she wrapped her arms around him. He kissed her slowly and gently and she pressed her fingers into his skin. She wrapped a leg around him, not to press him deeper but to connect with him at more points. 

Their climaxes came not with a wild crescendo or shouts and moans but with the same slow rocking, touching, tasting, kissing. He came first but he reached between them, thumb flicking against her clit to help her. His calloused fingers, wide palm pressed against her pelvis was all she needed. 

Afterwards she lay curled on her side and he wrapped around her from behind. “I’m no better than him now.” she said. “I’m just like him.”

“You’re not.” he said. “You did nothing to deserve what he did to you. You’re just reacting.”

“And that makes it better? He hit me so I hit back?” she said watching the rain run down his windows.

“I’m not going to lay here and help you justify it.” he said. “You’re going to feel how you feel and I’m not about to change your mind. You and I have that stubbornness in common.”

She rolled over to look at him. “I- I know it’s too soon,” she said. “But- this is more than just tonight, right? It’s not just sex?”

“No.” he said. “I don’t know what it is but it’s much more than sex. We are much more than that.”

“Good.” she said. “Just- when I tell Poe about this I-“

“You can’t tell him.” said Kylo.

“When I break up with him he’s going to want to know why.” she said.

“Tell him the truth. Because he cheated on you.”

“But when we start being seen together-“

“We can’t.” he said. She sat up on her elbow looking at him.

“Why?” she said. “You just said we were more than-“

“We are.” he said. “But I’m also the CEO of a company that gave you an enormous promotion less than 24 hours ago. If it comes out tomorrow that you and I are involved-“

“You said I earned the promotion. That it had nothing to do-“

“You did. And it doesn’t. But that’s not what everyone else will see. You saw how my board acted towards you today. Imagine how much worse it would be if they knew this.” said Kylo.

“So you’re more concerned with what the board will think than with what you want?”

“It’s not just the board.” he said. “The Empire isn’t the only company I own and the board isn’t the only one watching me.”

“So that’s what we are.” she said. “A CEO and his dirty little secret.”

“Rey, that’s not fair.”

“I’m sorry would you prefer mistress?” she said. “Would that be better optics for the board?”

“I’m just asking you to keep things quiet.” he said.

“I’m about to blow up my whole life.” she said. “I’m going to leave my boyfriend, lose my home, risk losing all my friends. And you’re saying I can’t even say why because it’ll screw up your image?”

“Not just mine.” he said. “You know what the press does to the girls I date.”

“Oh the press does it all?” she said. “You’re blameless in all those breakups? It was all the press?”

“It puts you in a very bright spotlight.” he said. “And the public will be watching you, ready to jump on your first mistake. They’ll comb through every article you’ve ever written, ever post you’ve ever liked on Instagram to find something to criticize. And with your work at JakkuHub that won’t take long.”

Her face burned red at the mention of her old work.“So we don’t tell ‘the public’ or the press.” she said. “We tell our friends and ask them to keep it quiet.”

“And how long until a ‘friend’ sells that story to a tabloid for some quick money? How many stories did you get that way back at-“

“JakkuHub. I know. I worked there, I wrote awful stories and did terrible things. Can we move on from it?” she ran a hand through her hair. “My friends wouldn’t do that. And if they find out I lied to them I’ll lose them for sure.”

“You’re being unreasonable.” he said. “Losing a couple friends is different from losing a couple companies. ”

“Yeah, it is.” she said. “I can’t buy more friends. I can’t just throw money at a problem and make it go away. I have had nothing most of my life, no family, no support, no chance, nothing. You have the luxury of throwing those things away when they don’t go your way! We can’t all just buy new lives and start over whenever we feel like it, _Ben_.” 

He reeled back from her, his eyes dark. He had the same look in his eyes she had seen the day he had trashed his office in a fit of rage.

She knew it was a mistake as soon as she said it. “No, wait, Kylo-“

“You should leave.” he said flatly, sitting up in bed.

“I didn’t- I’m just angry- this is an impossible situation and I’m caught in a very precarious place. I didn’t mean-“

“You’re right.” he said. “It is impossible. There’s no way that this doesn’t end badly for one, if not both of us. No matter how much we want it, it’s not going to work.” He sat up reaching down to pull on his boxers before standing up. He walked around his bedroom picking up her scattered clothing, handing them back to her. “So you should go back to Poe.”

“Kylo.” she said sitting up, her crumped clothes on her lap. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do. You obviously can’t handle the fallout of ending it with him or you would have already done it.” he said. “Please get dressed and go.” He left his bedroom, heading into his bathroom. She heard the soft click of a lock and then his shower. She wanted to pound on the door, beghim to listen but he had said it himself. He knew how he felt and she couldn’t change his mind. She dressed as quickly as she could walking back through his living room, collecting her jacket, shoes, and bag. 

As she took the elevator down to his lobby she stared at her reflection in the polished metal of the door. How could she look the same? She was not the same person who had taken that elevator just over an hour ago. She had given into Kylo, bared herself to him, let him take her and then thrown it all away. How had she have gone through all of that and still look the same. She stepped through the lobby and into the rain, not bothering to run to the subway. She let the rain seep through her clothes, soaking her hair, chilling her skin. She was in a daze and she stood on the train, her hand wrapped around the pole to stay on her feet. She was on autopilot as she went up the stairs, down the block and into her apartment. Poe was there, settling into bed as she walked through the door. 

“Hey.” he said punching his pillow into shape. “You’re home late.”

“Finn and Rose kept buying me drinks.” she said. “And then I got caught in this rain.”

“Glad you made it back in once piece.” he said.

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m gonna just take a quick shower and then I’ll come to bed.”

“I’ll probably already be out.” he said.

“Well then, good night.” she said stripping off her sopping jacket and hanging it over their radiator to dry. 

“Night.” he said turning away. She wanted to hit him, throw things at him, to scream ‘I know you’re cheating and so am I’.” Instead, sheshut the bathroom door dropped the rest of her sopping clothes into the sink and stepped into the shower. 

As her mind swirled with a thousand question, a hundred ways to solve the problems and kicked herself over and over for what she had said, she wondered if Kylo had been thinking the same things when he’s stepped into the shower. Or had he put her out of his mind as soon as she was out of his sight? Even if they couldn’t work together she still had to apologize, to make things right. 

She climbed into bed besides a sleeping Poe. She should wake him and end it now, tell him what she knew, tell him they were over. But she couldn’t. She had lost Kylo tonight. She couldn’t lose any more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hurt me more than it hurt you, I swear.


	10. Chapter 10

Rey was grateful for the monotonous predictability of their routine the next morning as she and Poe got ready. She could make breakfast, get dressed and get on the subway all without a second thought. She needed every minute and cell of brain power to focus on what she would do when she walked into the office. Poe was still too busy sulking about her promotion to notice how withdrawn she was. 

She knew she had to do it right away, that her nerve would leave her if she waited. “I have to talk to Mr. Ren,” she said as the elevator doors opened into the office. Poe didn’t respond and walked to his desk. She walked straight past her own desk to his office, knocking at his door. 

“Come in.” she heard from inside. She exhaled at that small relief. He would still talk to her. She walked in. “I wanted to-“ She stopped short when she saw they were not alone. 

“Ms.West, you met Mr. Hux yesterday,” said Kylo.

“Yes,” said Rey. “Yes, hello Mr. Hux.” She reached out shaking his hand. “I just wanted to ask Mr. Ren something.”

“You can ask Mr. Hux,” said Kylo. “I won’t be in the office much today but I will be leaving Mr. Hux here to answer any questions for you on your first day as managing editor. I was just filling him in on the basics.”

“Yes,” said Mr. Hux with a self-satisfied smirk. “So you can ask me whatever questions you have. Is the role already proving too challenging?”

“No.” she said. “I pitched a new series to Mr. Ren and I just wanted to discuss it.”

“Go ahead and ask,” said Kylo looking blankly at her. He wasn’t going to ask Mr. Hux to step out. 

“I- I know we disagreed on the best way to move forward. And that you think it might be too controversial,” she said. “But I was hoping you would reconsider my points. I really do think we can come to a compromise and make it work. I really believe the end result will be worth-”

“There’s no way to make it work without causing turmoil,” said Kylo. “I admire your persistence, but I’m going to stick with my decision to veto it.” He tucked his phone into his pocket. “And I have a meeting in 20 minutes. I have to leave now or I’ll be late.” He swept past her and out of the office.

“What is this controversial canceled piece?” said Mr. Hux but Rey barely heard him as she watched Kylo leave.

“Uh,” her mind churned uselessly. “A story on actors and actresses who preach social justice but continue to work with problematic directors and producers. Mr. Ren was worried it would be a piece with no heroes that would create twice as many enemies.”

“I agree,” he said. “Needlessly antagonistic. And social justice is all just Hollywood posturing. No person with a net worth over seven figures cares about the minimum wage.” Rey resisted the urge to argue and contented herself by rolling her eyes as she turned away.

She left Kylos office heading back to her own desk. She considered her options as she unpacked her bag before finally pulling out to her phone. There were still only four messages between the two of them and she knew she was breaking some unspoken rule between the two of them as she typed a message. ‘I’m sorry for what I said. But please, can we talk? I don’t want it to end like this.’ A few minutes later the read receipt popped up on her phone. She waited for the three dots that indicated he was writing back to appear but they never did. She turned her phone over, feeling a tightness in her throat that she knew came before tears. She could not cry in this office, not in front of Poe and Hux, or Finn and Rose who would all ask questions. 

She put her headphones in and began working. She couldn’t make Kylo talk to her but she could edit her latest draft. She couldn’t make Poe stop cheating but she could sort her notes. She couldn’t tell her friends the truth but she could schedule interviews. She couldn’t make Hux stop looking at her like she was gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe but she could approve the pieces submitted to her by junior editors. Working like that could take her through the morning, through a lunch eaten at her desk, all the way to 5:30. 

Poe told her in the elevator he had college buddies in town so he wouldn’t be home until late. She knew it was probably a lie, that he was going to the blonde she had seen last night. But this time it didn’t send an icy dagger of betrayal through her. She didn’t care. As they parted ways on the sidewalk she pulled out her phone, calling Kylo this time. It rang several times before she heard his voicemail. “Please,” she said hating how her voice broke on that single word. “Please just talk to me. Even if it’s to yell at me. I’m sorry. I just- Call me?” she hung up knowing she shouldn’t say more on a voicemail. She rode the train home checking at each stop to see if there was a response. As she exited the station her phone pinged and she extracted it as quickly as she could manage. It was a text from Rose in the group chat between her, Finn and Poe. 

“I thought I would try to resurrect office happy hour! There’s a great place that does karaoke on Fridays! Finn is in and if you two are on board for tomorrow I’ll send an email to the whole office to try and get more people to come.” Before she could find a way to let Rose down gently, Poe responded. “Rey and I are always in for karaoke!” She huffed in exasperation. Of course, Poe would still speak for her when he was barely speaking to her. She would find a way to get out of it later. She got an email a moment later with the subject line “Friday Night Karaoke!”

She got to her apartment but as soon as the door shut she felt like her feet were made of lead. The idea of making dinner, or doing laundry or anything else seemed laughable. She couldn’t just roll over, give up. She dropped her bag on the floor walking straight to her bedroom. She peeled off her clothes and changed into her workout clothes. She couldn’t fix what was broken in her life but she could do this. She tied her laces and jogged down the block to the gym. She couldn’t afford a full membership but she and the girl at the front desk, Emily, had a deal. Rey would come in a few times a month to use the treadmill and weight bench and Rey would get Emily any advance copies of films the Empire got for reviews. She slid a copy of the newest rom-com release across the counter and the girl smiled, handing Rey a towel. “I need that back by the end of the week,” she said nodding at the disc. 

“I’ll put it in your mailbox,” she said. “Have a good workout.” Rey plugged her headphones into her ears and headed to the treadmill at the end of the row. The ones at the end weren’t in front of the mirror, which right now was probably best. She stepped on pressing one of the preset workouts though she usually liked to fiddle with the settings finding just the right speed and incline. She found her pace soon, feet pounding the belt beneath her as she ran forward. She had done this to herself, she had taken a risk when she knew it might go wrong. But she hadn’t thought she’d be the one to ruin it. She cranked up the speed on the treadmill and the rhythm of her feet pounded in her ears. Ky-lo, ky-lo, ky-lo. She pushed it even faster. Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben. She cranked her headphones as loud as they would go but they couldn’t drown out the voice in her head. She could run as fast and as hard as she wanted but she would stay right here, unable to move forward, unable to run away. 

She kept the brutal pace for nearly an hour, her lungs burning, legs aching, feet starting to sting. She let herself slide off the back of the belt dabbing the sweat from her forehead. She bent over, hands on her knees trying to catch her breath. She wished she could keep running but she could only take so much. She moved back towards the front desk dropping the towel in the basket.

“Damn, girl are you training for a marathon?” said Emily handing her a bottle of water from the mini fridge by the counter.

“No.” she said uncapping the water and chugging half the bottle. “Just needed a good run.” 

She came home peeling off her workout gear and crawled under the comforter without so much as brushing her teeth. The sooner she was asleep, the sooner she would stop thinking about Kylo. Thankfully, sleep came swiftly.

…

She woke the next morning to Poe sleeping beside her in bed, and she recoiled at his touch. She had to get out of this. She would start looking for an apartment today, she could probably afford one on her own now with her new raise. She slipped out of bed and into the shower and then followed the same routine she had yesterday, all the way to the office. She and Poe barely spoke, she didn’t bother to ask what he had done last night, knowing it would all be lies.

“Rey,” said Rose as she took her first step into the office. “Please tell me you’re coming to karaoke tonight.”

“About that,” said Rey. “I don’t think I can-“

“No, please don’t say no,” said Rey. “You’re always such a good singer that you make everyone else want to sing too. If you don’t come it’ll just be Andrew from accounting singing Barry Manilow while everyone else drinks and tries not to make eye contact.”

“Fine,” said Rey realizing she needed to keep Rose and Finn as happy as possible if she wanted any chance of staying friends with them post break up. “I’ll come, but I’m not promising to sing.” 

“Thank you, thank you,” said Rose giving her tight hug. “I’m gonna invite everyone and just hope we get a decent number.”

“I’m sure we will,” said Rey. She walked over to Poe’s desk. “We are actually going tonight right? No last minute drinks with college buddies?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I said we’d go, we’re going.” She was about to walk away but he took her hand stopping her. “Hey, I know I’ve been short with you the last couple days. I’m sorry. I just was caught off guard with your promotion.”

“I’ve worked really hard here.” she said. “Why is it so surprising I’d be rewarded for that?”

“That’s not what I meant. I just thought we talked these kinds of things through. I understand Mr.Ren asking you not to spread it around the office but we’re supposed to be partners. And we had just gone through a whole thing about-” he looked around the office, shifting his grip from her hand to his arm and dropping his voice before continuing. “About being more honest with each other.”

She stared at him incredulously. Was he really going to lecture her about honesty when he was cheating on her? “You’re right. Moving forward we should both be completely honest with each other. Full transparency about everything. I’m about to go make myself a cup of coffee and then check my email. I’ll send you a report on my plans for the next hour for approval by 9.” She pulled her arm out of his grip and turned away. 

Once she found an apartment and got her things in order she would be honest with him. She’d tell him everything she’d seen, show him every screenshot and scrap of proof she’d collected over the past three years. And she’d tell him how she had found someone else too, even if she wouldn't say who. That would show him. But she’d play nice until then, no matter how hard it was. 

  
…

Rey sat at the minuscule table at the bar tapping her fingers on the tabletop in an inconsistent rhythm. She really didn’t want to be out tonight but canceling on Poe again would only make him more suspicious. A couple of drinks and they could be back home, not talking to each other. Out here in public, she had to smile and play nice in front of their friend and coworkers like everything was fine. Poe set down her drink. “Gin and tonic,” he said. “With extra limes. I know your favorite.” He planted a kiss on the top of her head before sitting. She felt like a dog being rewarded for not chewing on the furniture.

“Thanks, Poe,” she said. She would have preferred a half dozen shots of tequila but knew the G & T was a better idea. 

“And I signed you up for Karaoke at the bar,” he said. “Just pick your song before you head up there.”

“I wasn’t really in the mood to sing tonight,” she muttered gulping down a swallow of her drink. 

“But you have such a gorgeous voice,” he said. “And I want to hear you sing something.”

“Ok,” she said with a forced smile. “I’ll pick something.” She pulled the binder from the center of the table flipping through the songs trying to find something short and benign. Something from a Disney movie or the Spice Girls.

“Oh my god,” said Rose in a whisper that carried halfway across the bar looking towards the entrance. “I invited him but I didn’t think he’d actually come!”

“Who?” said Poe craning his neck towards the door. 

“Mr. Ren!” said Rose. “I mean I figured we should invite everyone since it’s an office event but there was no way I thought he’d actually show up.” Rey’s head snapped around as well, sure it had to be a mistake. He wouldn’t come to an office bar night, especially not now. But there he was, still in his black suit, but missing his tie, his top button undone. She tried to turn around but his eyes found her as if they were pulled there by magnets. Her breath caught in her throat and she turned back to the binder. It didn’t mean he was here for her. He could just be trying to bond with all of his employees.

“Rey you don’t have to sing,” said Poe. “I mean singing in front of your boss is-“

“It’s fine,” she said. She couldn’t make him talk to her. But damn if she wouldn’t make him listen. And right then she found the perfect song.

“Rey West, you’re up!” called the DJ. She stood moving towards the stage before Poe could protest further. She gave the song to the DJ and stood at the mic. As the music kicked in she looked towards Rose and Finn and Poe. Her friends. She wouldn’t look at Kylo, She wouldn’t look at Kylo. The beat kicked in and she let her eyes fall down to the screen with the lyrics to double check herself. When her eyes flicked up, they were locked on Kylo and she knew she had no chance of looking away.

“Here we go again, I kinda wanna be more than friends,” she said studying him. “So take it easy on me, I’m afraid you’re never satisfied.” She saw his hand tighten around his glass. “We play pretend,” she said trying not to let her mouth go dry. “And I’m afraid I won’t get out alive. No, I won't sleep tonight... Oh-oh, I want some more, oh-oh what are you waiting for? Take a bite of my heart tonight-”

She heard Rose whoop towards the left of the stage and she turned her attention back to her friends. “Go Rey!” she called Finn and Rose were cheering her on but Poe was staring at her curiously, his eyes trying to trace her path back to the center of the bar to see who she had been looking at. She quickly readjusted her stare at him as the second verse began.

“It’s getting heavier and I wanna run and hide, I wanna run and hide.” she saw Poe’s jaw set as he stared back at her, still as a statue. “I do it every time, you’re killing me now.” She tried to keep looking at Poe. Poe her boyfriend, she loved him, had loved him for years. “But I won’t be denied by you-“ Her eyes were back to Kylo before she could stop herself. “The animal inside of you.” Kylo took a deep drink staring back at her. “Hush hush we both can’t fight it, it’s us that made this mess. Why can’t you understand?” She sang the rest of the song straight to him, there was no point in fighting it. “Here we go again,” she repeated over and over feeling like the song would never end and also praying it never would. She could feel Poe glaring at her but she couldn’t stop singing to Kylo. And as long as she was up here Kylo had to listen to her. "Say goodbye to my heart tonight..." But the song had to end and she replaced the mic on the stand turning away as the room clapped unable to look at either one of them. 

“Dang girl!” said Rose. “That was amazing.” Rey sat down gulping down the other half of her drink.

“Thanks,” said Rey keeping her eyes on her glass willing it to refill. 

“Interesting song choice,” said Poe his voice ice cold.

“I always liked Neon Trees,” she said knowing that wasn’t what he meant.

“Well you said you just wanted to stay for one drink,” said Poe. “So if you want to head out-“

“Yeah,” she said. “Let’s just go.”

“Rey-“ started Poe but he was mercifully cut off by the DJ.

“Kyle- Er Kylo, you’re up!” he called out. Poe, Finn, Rose, and Rey all turned in unison to the stage.

“No way,” said Rose. 

“What the hell do you think Ren is going to sing?” said Finn.

“Classic rock? Heavy metal?” said Rose. “Jazz? I have no idea.”

Kylo stepped onto the stage taking the microphone. As soon as the music started, Rey knew what song it was. 

“I’ve been roaming around, always looking down at all I see,” sang Kylo his eyes focused on the screen with the lyrics. 

“Yeah, he does look down on everyone,” muttered Poe. 

“Shh!” said Rose. “Be quiet, I am so filming this. TMZ will pay off my credit cards for this video.” She had her phone out, trying to film subtly.

“Let’s just go,” said Poe moving to stand.

“No!” snapped Rey. “I mean- it’s rude to leave in the middle of someone's song. Let him finish.”

“You know that I could use somebody,” sang Kylo his voice breaking with the music, his voice low and smooth. “Someone like you, and all you know and all you speak.” And then his eyes found Rey and she froze. He was staring at her and there was no mistaking it. She felt all of her coworkers and Poe…especially Poe turn from Kylo to stare at her. “Countless lovers under cover of the street.” He couldn’t be staring at her any more intently. “I hope it’s gonna make you notice, someone like me. Someone like me, Someone like me.” He was pleading with her, begging with her in a room full of everyone into a goddamn microphone. And she couldn’t say anything back and she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. “I’ve been roaming around always looking down at all I see…” he finished and as the song ended the spell seemed to be broken. He stepped away from the microphone, off the stage and swiftly out the side exit.

“Let’s go,” said Poe, his hand locking around Rey's wrist and hauling her away from the table. She barely had time to grab her bag before he hauled her out of the bar. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're unfamiliar with the songs...  
> Rey's song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM7Hlg75Mlo  
> Kylos song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnhXHvRoUd0
> 
> This is a playlist of the other songs I considered. There was a version of this chapter where they sang a duet...  
> https://open.spotify.com/user/cjsanders92/playlist/0ceARQQ7SKS9iwY5DPFbxn


	11. Chapter 11

She was only relieved the sidewalks were crowded so he couldn’t start interrogating her right away. The subway was also packed full of plenty of people sharing their nights while they each held onto overhead straps facing the doors instead of each other. But once the left their subway stop, the 3 blocks to their apartment seemed endlessly empty.

“Getting cold already,” said Rey fruitlessly trying to stall the inevitable fight.

“You want to explain to me what the hell that was?” snapped Poe.

“It was just karaoke,” said Rey. 

“We both know it wasn’t,” said Poe. “Please don’t insult me. I’m not nearly as stupid as you think I am.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid,” said Rey. “We’ve just been fighting so much and-“

“I’m what? Am I paranoid? Am I crazy? I’m possessive?” he said now almost shouting in the street. “Why don’t you do me a favor and just be honest with me, Rey.”

“Can we just get inside before we do this?” she said gently laying her hand on his arm. “Please.” 

He threw his hands up shrugging her off and stomped up the steps of the stoop into their apartment. She took a deep breath before following him inside.  She hung her bag on the hook, taking off her shoes before following him into the living room. She sat on the couch bracing for what came next.

“How long have you been sleeping with him?” asked Poe.

“I didn’t do this to hurt you-” she said. Poe slammed his fist into the wall and Rey jumped. He was never like this. When he got angry always turned inward, got quiet and withdrawn.

“I don’t want to hear your goddamn excuses,” he said. “Simple yes or no answer. Are you fucking him?”

“Yes,” she said sitting on the couch dropping her head down. “Just once but-“

"So you didn't only fuck your boss," he said. "You lied to me, you lied to our friends, you just threw away the last 3 years we put into all of this," he said gesturing around to their apartment, the life they had built together. "Why Rey?"

"I-" she said hating that her throat was already tight, her eyes hot with tears. She had no right to cry, no right to ask for forgiveness or understanding. Even if she didn’t want to be with Poe anymore it had never been her intention to cause him pain. ”I didn't want to hurt you-"

"But you did," he said. "Was it worth it Rey? For a promotion? A bigger desk, a little more money-"  
"Fuck you." she spat back immediately furious. "This wasn't for the promotion and fuck you for thinking I had to screw my way to this job. I earned it. What happened between Kylo and me is completely separate."

"Don't be stupid Rey," he said. "You really think if you weren't fucking him, he would promote a nobody writer with a worthless degree coming from a trashy tabloid?"

"Are you mad that I cheated on you?" she said standing up. "Or mad because you think I cheated you out of a promotion?"

"You're really trying to make me the villain in this?" he said. "How long has it been going on?" She felt immediately angry, not wanting to give him any explanation. She didn't even want his forgiveness now. This wasn't about her, this was about his ego. He was mad at Kylo for taking what was his, his job and Rey. “Was that where you were that night you didn’t come home last month?”

“Yes, but nothing happened that night,” she said. “We only slept together recently and it was just the one time.”

“I can’t believe you,” he said. “After everything I did for you-”

“Really?” she said finally standing up. “Are you really going to pretend I’m the only one who’s cheated? You haven’t even tried to hide it.”

“What are you talking about?” he said but he couldn’t look her in the eye. 

“I mean if you’re going to hook up with girls in bars, make sure someone isn’t filming it,” she said. She stood from the couch moving to the coat closet, pulling out her travel duffel then heading into the bedroom.

“Kissing a girl in a bar isn’t the same as screwing your boss,” he said standing to follow her.

“Stop lying to me!” she said throwing the bag down and yanking a drawer out so hard it nearly fell to the floor. “You have been screwing that blonde girl, and you have done it more than once.” Poe stared at her, obviously confused as to how she knew. “Yeah, I know.” She began shoveling clothes into the bag.

“So that’s why you did this.” he said watching her. “You went and found the guy you knew would piss me off the most.”

“No,” she said going to the bathroom to throw her toothbrush and toiletry bag into the duffel. “Surprisingly, what’s between Kylo and I has nothing to do with you. He listens to me, he believes in me. He actually cares about what I need. He doesn’t just take what he wants. And he doesn’t hold every kind thing he’s ever done for me over my head as blackmail.”

“I’m sure he told you whatever you wanted to hear.” said Poe. “Buys you a couple nice things, gives you a bigger paycheck. Small price to pay to have a whore on-call in the office.” Rey turned and slapped him across the face as hard as she could. He stumbled back clutching his face, looking at her in shock.

“Fuck you, Poe.” she said her throat tight and eyes stinging as she zipped the bag shut. She was terrified he might be right. Kylo Ren could have any woman he wanted, had dated models and singers and even a senator once. What if she wasn’t enough for him? What if this whole thing fizzled out and she had burned her life to the ground for nothing? “I’ll be back for the rest of my stuff.” She slung her bag over her shoulder walking out to the apartment without looking back.

As she emerged onto the street she pulled her phone out of her bag dialing Kylo’s number before she had time to overthink it. “Rey-“ said Kylo when he answered the phone.

“Please just let me say this first.” she said starting to pace the sidewalk in front of her apartment. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for the things I said this night. This whole thing scares the hell out of me. No one has ever made me feel like you do and I pushed you away because I didn’t know how to handle it. I know this would be a second, second chance for me but if you would give it to me, I promise I won’t waste it.”

“Rey-“ he said again. 

“I know I don’t deserve it.” she said. “But you make me happier then I’ve ever been and if I’ve lost that-“

“Rey!” came a voice from behind her. She turned around expecting to see Poe coming down the steps but it was Kylo getting out of his car. She stared at him for a moment then ran to him dropping her duffel, bag and phone on the curb and throwing her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her holding her tightly. “I shouldn’t have thrown you out.”

“I shouldn’t have said what I did.” she said. “I don’t know anything about your life and to say what I did-“

“And I don’t know about you.” he said. “And I want to know everything. So you’re coming home with me tonight.”

She would usually fight, argue that she didn’t need to be saved. But for once, she wanted to be saved. “Ok.” she said and leaned down to pick up her bag. But he grabbed her duffel before she could reach it. She almost protested but stopped, letting him help her. She got into the passenger seat as he put her bag into the trunk. He got in and shut the door looking over her, she knew she must look like a wreck. She wiped uselessly at her face.

“Are you ok?” he said laying a hand over hers. “I know whatever just happened couldn’t have been easy.”

“It wasn’t.” she said. “But it needed to happen, one way or another.” She turned her hand over intertwining their fingers. He nodded lifting their hands to press his lips to her fingers.

“We can talk about it once we’re home.” he said releasing her hand to start the car and pull out onto the street.

Home.

Rey liked the sound of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I moved! It didn't leave a lot of time for writing but I'm unpacked and back to my keyboard. I'm just starting to have free time again so I wanted to get you a new chapter even if it is short.


	12. Chapter 12

He carried her bag into the apartment setting it by the door. “How long did you pack for?” he said eyeing the small bag. 

“Only a couple days, maybe a week with a laundry machine,” she said. “But I told Poe I’d be back for the rest of my things soon. Besides my clothes and my computer, it’s not much. Everything else in there is his, the furniture, the appliances, he bought all of it.”

“I could have someone pack it for you,” he said. “You don’t have to go back there.”

“I can handle it,” she said turning to lay her hand on his chest looking up at him. While his size should have been intimidating it was comforting to her. “But thank you.”

“Ok,” he said. “Now, let’s have that talk.”

“We don’t have to do all that tonight,” she said.

“We don’t have to. But I want to explain to you, so you can understand-“ he paused to consider his words, walking to his couch to sit. She followed sitting down to face him. “So you can try to understand.”

“Ok,” she said crossing her legs underneath her. “I want to understand you Kylo. And I want you to know me too.”

“My family and I- things have always been intense. My mother and father have both been successful in all the things that they do and expectations were high for me too. Even my uncle, my grandfather, even my great grandfather and great grandmother had people looking to them for leadership. They may not have all done things I agreed with, but they all had people listening to them, looking up to them.” she nodded. “So as long as I can remember people have been telling me about how much I was going to accomplish.”

“Must have been a lot of pressure,” she said.

“It was,” he said. “And the first time I did something impressive I was so ready for some of the pressure to be relieved.”

“What was it?” she said. “The thing you accomplished?” Kylo laughed a little and she smiled. It was so rare to see him laugh.

“I was elected Treasurer of the school government,” he said. “In Junior High. Very high stakes.”

“Hey, junior high is brutal,” she said smiling back. “Winning kids over at that age is impressive.”

“I thought so,” he said. “Until I heard a teacher say ‘Well he’s Leia Solo’s son, of course, he won. He’ll win everything’.”

“That wasn’t fair,” she said. “Kids don’t care about that kind of stuff.”

“That’s what I thought,” he said. “Until at every birthday party and summer barbecue kids and parents went right past me and straight to my parents. They wanted to hear stories about all the things they’d done when they were young, ask if the stories were true.”

“Oh,” she said. “Well, that’s…” She trailed off, unable to excuse that away.

“And then I realized no matter what I did, what elections I won, or grades I got, or colleges I got accepted to, or jobs I got… I would never get credit for it. Everyone would only think it was because of my family. I tried to explain as much to my parents but they didn’t get it. I tried for years but they didn’t listen. So I applied to colleges under a fake name.”

“Kylo Ren?” she said. 

“Exactly,” he said. “And when I got accepted I knew it was only because of what I had done. I turned 18, graduated and moved out. They still don’t get it and I’m still Kylo Ren.”

“But you’ve earned it all now,” she said. “If people found out now they wouldn’t think it’s because of them.”

“They might,” he said. “But I don’t want to find out. I was Mr. Snoke's intern during my sophomore year. When he found out who I was… I could see it in my eyes, he looked at me differently. But then he taught me how to stand on my own two feet, how to build something that was my own. I’m proud of the work I’ve done, of the company I’ve built. I don’t need a family to do that.”

“See, I don’t get that,” she said shaking her head. “I would give anything to have a family, even if it was just to disappoint them by not living up to their expectations.”

“What happened to yours?” he said. “I’ve never heard you talk about them.”

“Not much to talk about,” she said. “They found me wandering around a train station when I was three. My mom or dad or…whoever was watching me before that had just dropped me there. They looked for weeks, put photos of me on the news, all around the neighborhood…but no one ever came forward. I got bounced around from one foster home to another. I took the last name West because they found me on the West platform and some part of me hoped that would help them find me one day. I didn’t want to just get lost in the shuffle if they were looking for me.” She looked down into her lap picking at a stray thread distractedly. 

He lay a hand on her knee. “Go on,” he said.

“So I started writing… I had always fantasized about my real family, about what had happened to them, so I started writing stories. Stories turned into essays, essays into blogs, blogs into articles for the school paper. Then with my journalism scholarship in college, I got to cover events I wouldn’t have gotten to attend in a million years otherwise. Things like gourmet restaurant openings and art shows and governors balls. I realized my writing could really take me places and it taught me how to get information. I-uh-“ she felt tears prickle at her eyes and turned away from him. 

“Hey, it’s ok,” he said. “You don’t have to tell me more then you’re ready to.”

“No, it’s not really anything. I just used to fantasize that I would use all my research and connections to find my family,” she said. “Just a stupid childhood fantasy.”

“It’s not stupid,” he said.

“So, it’s hard for me,” she concluded drawing patterns in the suede of the couch. “To understand giving one up. I would do anything to find mine, to find even one person to feel like I had somewhere to belong.”

“You don’t need family for that,” he said. “I’m here for you. You can belong here.” She smiled at him.

“Thank you,” she said. It wasn’t the same, not by a long shot, but she appreciated the gesture. 

“Tell me more about how you got started writing,” he said. “Someone with talent like yours…did you have a teacher or an advisor or were you just always good?”

“I was always curious,” she said settling into the couch. “And a storyteller. I made up stories about who my parents were, where they were…But it took a lot of time to polish my writing and really hone my voice.”

They talked through the night about her writing classes and his business courses, comparing broken bone stories and scars. At one point he brewed them mugs of tea, which she suspected he spiked with whiskey as her tongue got loose enough to share stories of college boyfriends and he told his side of the story with the indie starlet. But for the first time, she didn’t feel like they had a cloud hanging over them, an ax waiting to drop. It finally felt like there were only two people in the relationship and she knew it could only get better from here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure everything will stay this great... No more problems for these two!
> 
>  
> 
> Right?


	13. Chapter 13

Rey woke on the couch to the smell of coffee. She wiped the sleep from her eyes as she sat up, the blanket that had been draped over her legs spilling to the floor. “Did I wake you?” said Kylo from the kitchen. “You passed out on the couch last night while we were talking and I just wanted to let you sleep, but I needed some coffee.”

“No,” she said. “I’ve never been the type to sleep in.”

“Can I pour you a cup?” he said and she nodded pushing her hair off her face. He set the coffee in front of her on the coffee table sitting beside her as she wrestled her bedhead into a bun with the rubber band on her wrist.

“You may want to drink that before you check your phone,” he said. She saw it already had milk added just like she liked and wondered when he’d picked that up.

“No, Poe isn’t the type to leave a million texts and voicemails. And I’m pretty sure even if he was he doesn’t want to talk to me ever again,” she said taking a sip from the coffee. It was dark and rich, the mug warming her hands. 

“Not Poe,” he said, opening up his laptop on the coffee table. He typed in ‘Rey West’ and as he pressed enter dozens of photos of her own face appeared. Photos from last night, photos from her work profile, photos from college, photos from her own birthday party last year. 

“What the hell?” she said pulling it close and scanning the articles. ‘Kylo Ren and Unidentified Female Employee Having Torrid Affair’ ‘Trysts in the Office? Naughty Kylo’s At It Again!’ ‘Rey West Enjoying Extra Benefits at Empire’ “Shit…” she said.

“I warned you about this,” he said. “Getting close to me puts you in the spotlight.” 

“How do they even know who I am?” she said scrolling and clicking. There were photos from the club photos of her onstage and then Kylo onstage. And then, a video clip. “Rose, you didn’t…” she said clicking. 

“She didn’t,” he said. “Or if she was, she wasn’t the only one. There have to be a dozen videos of last night. Of both of us.” As if on cue she heard her own voice coming out of the speakers and she was already wincing. What she had thought were subtle glances to her gin-soaked brain were obvious stares. Whoever was holding the camera panned back and forth between her and Kylo and she caught glances of Poe glaring at her. The video cut and dropped in on Kylo mid-song. She had known he had been staring at her during his song but hadn’t realized how obviously she had been staring back. Her lips were parted, her cheeks flushed, she even bit her lip at one point.

“But how did they know who I am?” she said

“About that,” he said clicking to another tab. The familiar brown and blue website popped up. 

“Just when I think I’m done with them…” she said. ‘JakkuHub’s Own Rey West Climbs the Corporate Ladder and into Bed’. “JakkuHubs own? I haven’t worked there for 3 years!”

“Seems 3 years wasn’t long enough for Oscar Plutt to forget you,” said Kylo gesturing to the byline. “But he may have gotten some help refreshing his memory.” He scrolled down the page and she saw another set of photos from them last night, her running to him, then her dropping her bags on the sidewalk as she wrapped her arms around him and finally her getting into his car.

“Poe.” she said after realizing the photos were taken from above, from the window of their (now his) apartment. 

Kylo nodded.“You don’t need to read anymore,” he said as he closed the lid of the laptop.

“I shouldn’t have done that last night at the bar,” she said. “I made this public, I didn’t think-“

“If you made it public, I encouraged it,” he said. “I got onstage too.”

“I liked that,” she said with a small smile. “Good song.”

“You too,” he said. “But let’s not make a habit out of communicating through song in public.”

“You said you didn’t want this to be public,” she said.

“I said I didn’t want to force you into the public,” said Kylo. “It doesn’t ever stop now. Even if you moved across the country, you’re tied to my name.”

“Do you want me to move across the country?” she said half joking but also wondering if he just wanted her to disappear.

“No,” he said reaching out to caress her face. His touch still sent a shiver up her spine and she smiled as his fingers stroked her cheekbone. “I just wish I could protect you from all this.”

“I don’t need protecting,” she said. “But I do need your support. Everyone is going to think what Poe and these papers think. They’re going to think I got this job because of you. We both know it’s not true but we’re gonna spend a lot of time convincing everyone else.”

“The wheels were in motion for your promotion far before I ever acquired the Empire. I merely agreed with everyone else's assessments,” he said.

“But maybe it would be best if I- if I just left the Empire,” she said closing her eyes her fingers pressed to her temples. “Anything I earn, any recognition I get and we’ll have to deal with this all over again.”

“Then we’ll do it together,” he said. “Because I predict you doing very well and you’re not going anywhere. We just have to get out ahead of this, share our own narrative before they create one we have to fight.”

“They already have one,” she said gesturing to the laptop. “And it looks like Poe is more than ready to help fan the flames.”

“As much as I don’t agree with him, I understand him,” said Kylo. “You don’t want to know the things I imagined doing when I thought I’d lost you to him.”

“But you would never do anything like that,” she said. 

“Of course not,” he said. “I’d never want to hurt you like that. But making Poe suffer…I can’t say I wouldn’t enjoy that.”

“Kylo,” she said firmly looking at him. “Don’t.”

“Only kidding. Well, sort of…” She stared him down. “I won’t, I swear.”

“Ok,” said Rey. “So…at the risk of sounding like a pessimist, how do we spin this? I mean, the bare facts of it are, you’re my boss and I was in a relationship when we started this. That’s already not a great place to start, then add my promotion and the fact that your board already hated me before they knew we were involved-“‘

“Let’s not concentrate on what’s going against us,” he said. “What do we have going for us?”

“Well, you-you make me feel happy for the first time in a while,” she said. “And you make me feel supported and safe-“

“Safe?” said Kylo. “What do you mean?”

“Poe did a lot for me, but he always reminded me just how much he did. The apartment, the job, the friends he helped me get…he never let me forget that he could take it all back.”

Kylo nodded, his brow furrowed. “We can work with that.”

“Wait, now what do _you_ mean?” she said.

“Let me worry about it,” he said. “Simplest thing to do is to get out in front of this, make a statement ourselves, control the narrative.”

“But they already started,” she said.

“So let’s cut them off,” he said. “Think you can handle a press conference?”

“Oh,” she said. “I mean I’m good with words but I’m better at writing than speaking.“

“I know,” he said. “I would do all the talking. But if you’re standing there next to me it’ll be much better. And honestly, easier for me.”

“I-I guess I can.” she knew the kind of press conference he was talking about. She’d been to dozens, where the powerful politician, acclaimed actor or distinguished director stood at a podium listing their indiscretions while their girlfriends and wives stood behind them, nodding and smiling banally. This was how it was going to be from now on if she was going to be with Kylo Ren. “Can we both agree on what you’re going to say if you’ll be speaking for both of us?” 

“Of course,” he said. “I’ll need your help writing it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, here it goes. Time to let the rest of the world in.


	14. Chapter 14

And while the relationship was consensual and not extramarital it created a breach of trust.” said Kylo as Rey stood beside him coming to the end of the statement they had put together. His publicist, Phoebe Yates had dressed and styled her from her collared dress and to her pearl stud earrings. After finding out Kylo wouldn’t let them change a word of the statement he and Rey had written, Rey’s appearance had been the compromise. She didn’t feel like herself but knew she had to do what she could to preserve Kylo’s reputation. It was already hanging by a thread and she had to do what she could to repair it.

“Mr. Ren, what do you say to those who say Ms. West is using this relationship to advance her own career?” said one reporter. Her face flamed red and she was grateful for the several layers of foundation Phoebe had insisted upon. 

“Ms. West has not received special treatment as a result of this relationship. Her promotion was put into motion far before I purchased the Empire and was approved by many others along the way.” He said exactly the way they had written it, anticipating a question like this.“As my purchase and primary evaluation of the Empire is complete we will have almost no direct interaction in matters of business.” That wasn’t exactly true. Kylo had agreed to take a step back from things until the spotlight moved onto the next scandal. “And Ms.West’s work speaks for itself, as do her awards.” She cleared her throat slightly. That last bit was not part of what they’d written.

“Ms. West,” said another reporter. “Is it true you were already involved in a relationship with another employee at the Empire?”

“Ms. West will not be answering any questions,” said Kylo before she could speak. “And neither of us will be acknowledging questions which have no relevance to the situation.”

“Mr. Ren, how did this affair begin?” said another. 

“When did it begin?”

“Did it begin before her promotion was announced?”

“Is there any truth to the rumors that the board tried to halt her promotion due to her inexperience?”

“What can you tell us about the videos from the bar?”

“What about the photos of you getting into a car together later that night?”

“Are you living together now?”

“What about statements from employees inside the company saying you’ve been sneaking around for weeks?”

“Is it true you fired the employee she was dating?”

The questions came faster and louder as they refused to answer, all formality and politeness evaporating. Rey looked up at Kylo. Despite all his previous romantic entanglements he had never acknowledged any of them in the public. He had always given the press a cold shoulder while the women filled in the details. And here he was, throwing himself to the sharks for her, for them. She reached out taking his elbow carefully, despite his publicist giving them strict instructions not to touch. The small gesture did not go unnoticed by the cameras and she heard the flashbulbs from the cameras double in frequency as soon as they connected. Kylo looked back at her and seemed to understand. He lay his hand over hers before stepping back letting her step into place behind the podium.

She knew his publicist had to be having a meltdown. “Do not speak.” Phoebe had said as she decided between a blue or green dress. “After ‘Hello’ and ‘Good afternoon’ I don’t want you to say a word. Don’t answer a single question. Not ‘how are you enjoying the good weather’, not ‘coffee or tea’, not ‘who are you wearing’. I don’t care if they just ask how to spell your name. Not. A. Word.”

“Hello,” said Rey after taking a deep breath. “My name is Rey West.”

“When did you set your eyes on your boss?”

“Did you dump your boyfriend as soon as Kylo Ren showed up?”

“When you two break up will you sell the story to the Empire or JakkuHub?”

“Have any of your former foster parents reached out?”

“Have you cheated on other boyfriends?”

She wasn’t surprised. She had known the press would do plenty of research on her, hoping to uncover anything they could to write the best story. She had done it before, hoping her question would be the one to push her subject over the edge. But knowing that the hard questions would come, and actually hearing them aimed at her was much different. “I’m sure you have plenty of questions for me,” she said. “About my background, and my work and my past. Trust me, if anyone understands wanting the scoop on the newest story, it’s me.” She let herself smile a bit and the press seemed to warm to her if only minutely as a few of them chuckled. “I know how this looks. I know this sounds like every press conference that happens when this kind of thing happens. And as exciting as it would be if I was a gold-digger, or doing this for a story or for a promotion, it’s not. Ky- Mr. Ren and I found we worked well together and it evolved. Neither of us expected it to turn into this. And while I did end a relationship recently, it was ending long before I ever met Mr. Ren. I know whatever I say here will be mostly ignored for whatever narrative you choose to spin but I have to say my truth. I am with him,” she said looking back at Kylo, “Because I just want to be with him. Not because of his companies, or his influence but because he makes me happy.” She knew she was asking for trouble with a statement that open-ended but it was the truth. “That’s all.” She stepped back from the podium and she and Kylo stepped away from the press entirely through the side door.

“Phoebe is going to kill you,” said Kylo as soon as they were alone, heading down the hallway towards the car. 

“I know,” she said. “But I couldn’t just stand there and say nothing.”

“I was surprised it took you as long as it did to say something,” he said.

“Did I just massively screw things up for you?” she asked.

“No.” he said. “The press can smell an insincere statement a mile away. Saying something real now might help us in the long run. If you were in that room on the other side of the podium, what would you be thinking?”

“I- I don’t know,” she said. “But we’re about to hear what Phoebe thinks.” The dark haired girl in the black skirt suit was coming at them from the other end of the hallway with a speed that made Rey want to brace for impact.

“I asked you for one thing Rey.” said Phoebe passing between them and then turning to walk behind them in one smooth spin. “One thing. For you to not say anything. And Kylo, I asked you to stick to the script! You know better than to deviate-“

“Yes, we know we didn’t follow orders,” said Kylo. “But it’s done. We’ll deal with it later.”

“Yes, easy for you to say. I’m the one who has to put out the dozen fires you just set,” said Phoebe typing at her phone furiously.

“They’re going to find out everything anyway,” said Rey. “And what they don’t find, they’ll make up. There was nothing we could have said in that room that could have stopped them. But at least now I feel like I said something real out there.”

“I’m so glad you could have that moment of personal honesty,” said Phoebe rolling her eyes. Rey wanted to hate her or at least be irritated by her but she knew she was just doing her job. 

“So,” said Rey looking at Kylo. “Now that we’ve done the official statement can I talk to my friends? They’ve all been calling and texting nonstop and I want them to hear the non-PR version of events.” It had been killing her to ignore Rose and Finn's messages but Kylo had asked her to wait. 

“As long as you’re sure none of your friends are going to send sell the ‘non-PR version of events’ to the highest bidder,” said Phoebe before Kylo could answer.

“If I thought they would do something like that, they wouldn’t be my friends,” said Rey.

“Of course,” said Kylo.

“And,” said Rey. “Can they come over to your place? This isn’t a talk for over the phone. I’d usually go to their place or just go for coffee but-“

“No!” said Phoebe. “No unapproved public appearances for the next 72 hours. And that includes public transportation! We went over the plan this morning! Do you want me to forward it to you again?”

“We know, Phoebe,” said Kylo. “And of course they can, Rey. I’ll be meeting with the board tonight so you’ll have the place to yourself. Order in, make a night of it. And Phoebe, this is where we leave you. We promise no unapproved statements, or appearances or travel. We won’t so much as sneeze without the all clear from you.” Kylo opened the door for Rey and she slid in. He went around to the driver's side closing the door before Phoebe could say anything else.

“God, I want to ride the subway reading our text messages into a megaphone just to see if her head would explode,” said Rey, reaching up to take the studs out of her ears as Kylo pulled out onto the street. 

“I think it just might,” said Kylo. “And I’m glad you said something out there. I didn’t want to force you to, but it felt wrong to speak for you.”

“I didn’t plan it,” she said. “I just had to.” She reached up undoing the tight braid Phoebe had insisted on. “Phoebe is a force to be reckoned with. Any chance we could get her to go back to my apartment and deal with Poe? Or just pack up for me?”

“We can hire movers,” said Kylo. “Although I would enjoy seeing Phoebe put the fear of God in Poe.”

“That might not be a bad idea. Finn and Rose never would but, he hates me so much he might sell his side of the story to the tabloids,” she said. “He already sent in those photos from that night. What if he-“

“Don’t let yourself go down that road,” he said. “Just focus on talking to your friends tonight.”

“If I even have friends anymore,” she said. 

“Stop,” he said. “If they are stupid enough to choose him over you, you don’t need them in your life. Leave past mistakes behind and just move forward.”

“They’re not mistakes,” she said. She pulled her phone out sending the same message to Finn and Rose separately. ‘I know you must be confused with everything that’s coming out in the media and I just want to tell you the truth face to face. Can you come to dinner tonight?’

“What are you going to tell them?” said Kylo.

“The truth,” she said. 

“Not everything though,” he said. She turned to face him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I prefer they not know about my relationship to Leia or-“

“I won’t tell them anything about your past,” she said. “I will just tell them the truth of what happened between you and me. But this is mostly going to be about Poe.”

“How much longer are things going to be about him?” he said his jaw tight.

“Not past tonight hopefully,” she said.

“Until you have to go back to work with him on Monday,” he said. “I could easily find a reason to-“

“If you fire him, he will go nuclear, guaranteed,” said Rey. “He will make this 100 times worse. Let’s just try and play nice.” Her phone buzzed and she read the reply from Finn. ‘I thought it was all just tabloid nonsense but now I’m reading quotes from the press conference. I need an explanation. When and where is dinner?’ As she typed Kylos address and a time to meet to Finn she got a reply from Rose. ‘YES. Please explain what the hell is going on!’ She sent the address to Rose as well.

“Well, let me know when it’s safe to come home,” said Kylo.

“The whole night is going to be safe,” she said. “But I will let you know when they leave if that what you mean. And frankly, I’m more worried about you and the board.”

“They’ll just read back the corporate policy on inner-office fraternization,” said Kylo. “It’s not like I’m in the habit of doing this.”

“Ok,” she said. “Just…be careful.” Snoke and Hux didn’t seem like the type to be understanding but Kylo probably knew them better then she did. 


	15. Chapter 15

Rey paced Kylo’s living room tapping her nails on the back of her phone. The food was waiting on the table, she was back in her own clothes and Finn and Rose weren’t due for another 8 minutes. But she was still nervous, wishing she had something else to prepare or adjust to keep her mind busy. She straightened the perfectly straight pillows on the couch, wiping the imaginary dust off the pristine mantle. What she wouldn’t give for a pile of laundry to fold, or a sink full of dishes to wash. Her phone buzzed with a message from Kylo. ‘I know you’re stressed but it’ll be fine. I’ll be heading into the board meeting and turning my phone off soon. See you tonight.’ She smiled and sat on the arm of his couch. She still wasn’t quite used to getting messages like this from him, so…normal.

With two minutes to go before they were expected Rey heard a knock at the door. She opened the door to Finn and Rose, welcoming them in.

“This place is-“ Rose looked around. “Why does one person need an apartment this big?”

“I thought the address you gave us was a hotel,” said Finn looking at the art mounted on the wall. “Are you living with Kylo Ren?”

“Of course she’s not,” said Rose running her hand over the back of the couch. “She and Poe only broke up two days ago.”

“We don’t even know if they’re broken up. They could just be fighting. Or on a break.”

“She did a press conference with Kylo Ren, that sounds like she’s broken up with Poe.”

“Guys,” said Rey. “Do you want to just have this conversation without me or-“

“Sorry,” said Rose. “Sorry, we’ve been having this conversation since karaoke. And by the way I was only joking that night, I did not sell that video to TMZ.”

“I know you didn’t,” said Rey. 

“And even though everyone at the Empire has gotten a ton of emails Rose and I would never tell them anything,” said Finn.

“I know you wouldn’t,” said Rey. “And if we’re all done talking about the things we didn’t and wouldn’t do, you guys want to eat? I ordered from that place on Bleeker Street we kept wanting to try, Lupa.” She gestured to the dining room table.

“Smells great,” said Rose sitting down.

“Is the whole office coming?” said Finn looking at the covered table as he sat.

“I wasn’t sure what you guys wanted so I just ordered a bunch of stuff,” said Rey bringing a bottle of wine from the counter. “Do you guys want something else to drink? Kylo has pretty much everything.” she gestured to the liquor cabinet against the wall. 

“Wine is fine,” said Rose.

“And I’ll just stick to water,” said Finn eyeing the cabinet. Rey poured all the drinks and then sat at the table.

“Ok, you guys start eating and I’ll start talking,” she said after taking a deep gulp of wine. Rose and Finn started piling pasta and steak and scallops and marinated vegetables onto their plates. Rey picked up a roll and started tearing it into pieces.

“You said you were going to talk,” said Finn twirling Spaghetti Aglio Olio around his fork.

“I know,” said Rey. “I’m just trying to figure out the best place to start.”

“Well, how did this all start?” said Rose. 

“Well it started with my assessment,” said Rey.

“But that was months ago,” said Rose. “And on like, his third day.”

“I know,” she said. “I kind of tore Kylo’s head off for no reason and he let it slide. He told me that Leia had put in a note about promoting me and that he wanted to do it but it might take some time. And then I was staying late doing some work and he asked me to help him out with some writing. We talked, we joked around, he gave me a ride home once…and that’s all it was for a really long time. Just staying late sometimes to do extra work. I figured I was just gearing up for my promotion.”

“So what changed?” said Rose taking a mouthful of risotto. 

Rey took a deep breath and then another gulp of wine. “Remember that night I canceled on trivia but then changed my mind but Poe had already left?” They both nodded. “So I thought Kylo was going to need my help, but things changed around. So I headed home with dinner for Poe. But he wasn’t home. And when I called to ask where he was…he told me he was still with you guys. But I could hear in the background he was at a bar.”

“Maybe he just hadn’t left yet,” said Finn. “He did come to the bar for a bit before he left.”

“Rose and I had talked. He’d left you guys at least an hour before I got home,” she said. “He lied to me and you both.”

“Oh,” said Rose. 

“I was so upset,” she said. “And Poe is your friend so I knew I couldn’t vent to you guys, so I texted Kylo. And he invited me over and I was just so mad at Poe, I went. I started venting to him, I started drinking and-“

“You slept with him?” said Rose through a mouthful of veal sausage. 

“No! No, we just kissed. And that was the first time we did.” They had done a little more than kiss but they didn’t need to know that. “But we stopped ourselves from going any further. We knew it was a mistake. We talked it through, we ate some food to sober up and I ended up falling asleep at his place. Separate beds. Separate rooms!” she clarified. 

“And what did Poe think when you didn’t come home?” said Finn. “He must have been worried sick.”

“He was,” she said. “And I felt horrible. We talked through things, he admitted he had lied and we said we would be honest with each other, really work on things. And for a few weeks, it seemed like it was working. Kylo and I were strictly work and Poe and I were spending more time together.” 

“So then what happened?” said Rose tapping her fork on the edge of her plate.

“My promotion,” said Rey. “Kylo offered it to me and I made sure it wasn’t just because of whatever had been going on between us before. He swore it wasn’t and said we should just go forward like it never happened. I agreed and he made the announcement. And Poe was- you guys didn’t see it but he was furious. He didn’t think I deserved the promotion, he thought it should have been his.”

“I don’t think it was that,” said Finn. “I mean we were all surprised by it, maybe he was just getting used to the idea of his girlfriend being his boss.”

“The night I got promoted I found video proof was sleeping with someone else,” she said tired of beating around the bush. “And had been for weeks. Maybe months.”

“Maybe you misunderstood,” said Finn.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” said Rose.

“Because of that!” said Rey gesturing at Finn. “I’m telling you that Poe was cheating on me for months and you’re making excuses for him.”

“I've known Poe since college,” said Finn. “It just doesn’t sound like him.”

“Well as someone who has been dating Poe for three years and living with him for two, you don’t know Poe the way I do. I have texts and photos of all the stuff he’s done through the years. To you guys he’s all jokes and good times but-“ She had shredded the roll to a pile of crumbs by now. “I was devastated when I found out and I needed someone to talk to who wasn’t going to defend Poe. So I went to Kylo. He was there for me.”

“And you slept with him,” said Finn.

“Finn,” said Rose glaring at him.

“Well that’s what you were about to say weren’t you?” said Finn crossing his arms. “Poe cheated on you, so you cheated on him. Don’t act like it was some big romantic revelation because you were at work the next day still with Poe.”

“Finn, stop it,” said Rose. “She’s trying to explain.”

“Why bother?” said Rey. “No matter what I say, you’re going to take his side.” How could she explain how awful Poe made her feel, how hard it had been to hold it all together as he lied to her face. She could barely process how Kylo made her feel, let alone put it into words. How could she explain the night she had finally given in? How he’d held her while she cried, taken such care of her. That night was too raw and private to try and explain.

“Well I want to hear.” said Rose reaching out to squeeze Rey’s hand. “Tell me.”

“Poe made me feel worthless for so long.” she said. “And Kylo saw me, really saw me and- I didn’t want to give that up. But Poe and I had history and I knew if I broke up with him you two would take his side.”

“We’re not on anyone’s side,” said Rose. “Right?

“We want you both to just be happy, and if you’re not happy together I guess you shouldn’t be together,” said Finn, arms still crossed. 

“Well after that night everything just got so confusing. I didn’t know what to do,” she said. “Poe wasn’t talking to me and Kylo wouldn’t talk to me. Then at karaoke…I don’t know it just all boiled over. After Poe and I left we finally just…laid it all out. And then it was just over. I was heading out the door and Kylo was waiting for me and… Well, you guys know the rest.”

“Well, sort off,” said Rose. “I mean it sounds like you and Poe had a pretty bad fight-“

“He called me a whore and said I screwed my way to this promotion.” said Rey.

“He wouldn’t say something like that,” muttered Finn his brow furrowed.

“Well he did,” she said. “And he was the one who sold those photos of me getting into Kylo’s car to the press.”

“So Kylo is your…boyfriend?” said Rose. “Do you live here now?”

“Yes,” she said. “And just for now. I don’t know if I’ll stay or get my own place later, but right now in the middle of the media frenzy, it’s easier to stick close to him and have his publicist help us manage things. I mean after the press conference it was nice to just take the car back to one place together.”

“But he’s…” Finn started.

“What?” snapped Rey.

“He’s Kylo Ren!” said Finn. “He lives in places like this and has publicists. He deals with ‘media frenzies’ and press conferences. That doesn’t sound like they Rey West I know. She eats Golden Palace and rides the subway. She doesn’t order Lupa and ride in town cars. We’ve all seen they way Kylo Ren rips through relationships. I just don’t want to see you get swept up in all of this only to-“ He seemed to stutter to a halt.

“Only to have him dump me when he gets bored and moves onto his next supermodel girlfriend.” she finished. Rose looked at her sheepishly.

“I can’t remember him ever being in a relationship longer than a couple months,” said Rose. “And he’s kind of…cold. And harsh.”

“You don’t know him like I do,” said Rey. “Can you please just be happy for me?”

“I’m trying,” said Finn.

“Are you?” said Rey.

“But,” said Rose. “It’s hard. I mean on Friday night you and Poe were together at karaoke and on Sunday morning you’re at a press conference with Kylo Ren and living with him. It’s all just happening really suddenly. Are you sure you’re not rushing into this?”

“I know this seems sudden to you,” said Rey. “But for me, it has been months. Months of Poe lying to me and feeling paranoid and unwanted. And then months of Kylo listening to me and encouraging me…seeing all my potential and wanting to see me grow. It just all boiled over on Friday. This wasn’t the way I wanted it to happen or the way I wanted to tell you. But here we are.”

“So now what?” said Finn.

“I have lost so much lately,” she said. “I don’t want to lose you guys too. I know it’s gonna take time to get used to all this but…please say you’ll try.”

“Of course we will,” said Rose after a moment of hesitation. “You’re not justPoe’s girlfriend. You’re our friend too.”

“Yes,” said Finn. “You’re our friend. And I’ll try to get used to Kylo.”

“He’s a lot different outside the office,” she said. “You’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a short update but I wanted to give you guys something. This one isn't abandoned, I swear!


	16. Chapter 16

Rey was washing her face when she heard the front door open. “Is it safe to come in?” she heard Kylo call.

“All clear,” she called back, rinsing the suds from her face. She felt his arms wrap around her waist from behind as she patted her skin dry with one of his plush towels.

“How did it go?” he said kissing up the back of her neck softly. 

“Fine,” she said shivering at the sensation. “It was fine, I guess. Or it will be.”

“That sounded convincing,” he said. “What happened?”

“They just- they think I’m rushing into this,” she said. “Or that I’m doing this to spite Poe.”

“Aren’t you?” he said his hands slipping under her tank top and up her sides. He had already shed his jacket and tie.

“You’re not funny,” she said looking at him through the mirror but she smiled slightly.

“I know you’re not with me out of spite,” he said. “Did you explain the problems with him started before me?”

“Yes,” she said. “But they also don’t believe Poe could do all the things I told them about. They say they know him and he wouldn’t do that.”

“Sounds like great friends,” he said. 

“They’re adjusting,” she said. “I mean to them, Poe and I were fine Friday night and Saturday morning there’s stuff all over the news and the next day we’re at a press conference. They haven’t been in it for the months we have and they’re worried I’m rushing into this. They just worry about me because they _are_ great friends.”

“Whatever you say,” said Kylo pulling her into the bedroom.

“They just have to get to know you as Kylo and not Mr. Ren.”

“Let’s pause on all that,” he said. “And why don’t you open that.” He indicated towards a large box with signature silver ribbon sitting on the bed.

“Kylo,” she said stopping. “You didn’t have to-“

  
“I wanted to,” he said. “And tomorrow is officially your first day as managing editor. I wanted to get you something so you could look the part.” She unwrapped the silver box and pulled out a stunning black dress. It was not like anything she’d ever worn and she realized it was the female equivalent of Kylo’s black suits, sharp and professional and luxury.

“I can’t wear this,” she said. 

“You don’t like it?” he said.

“No, I love it,” she said. “It’s nicer than anything I’ve ever owned. But I can’t wear this tomorrow.”

“Why?” he said looking over the garment as if it would have answers.

“Because tomorrow is my first day back at work as your girlfriend,” she said. “And everyone is going to be watching me like a hawk. I can’t stroll in wearing a-“ she glanced at the tag and her stomach flipped “Six thousand dollar dress.”

“It is also your first day as a Managing Editor,” he said. “I want to help you look the part.”

“I know you do,” she said. “But we can’t give them anything to pick at. I have something of my own picked out that will look just fine.”

“You should look more than ‘just fine’ in your new job. You need to command authority.”

“I don’t need designer dresses for people to take me seriously,” she said.

“Would you try it on at least?” he said. 

“I’m not a fan of playing dress up,” she said fingering the fabric between her fingers. 

“Not trying to,” he said standing behind her. “But- I just think you haven’t let yourself make waves. You can’t be afraid to stand your ground and make people work around you.”

“I made enough waves to get Leia to put me up for the job in the first place,” she said.

“And you have to keep making them and make them bigger if you want to keep moving up,” he said. “Just try it on for me before you dismiss it, don’t judge a dress by its hanger.”

“Fine,” she said. “I’ll try it on. But that’s all I’m promising.” She lifted the dress from the box on the bed walking into the closet with the full-length mirror. She shed her pajamas and pulled the black dress on looking away from the mirror at first. The feeling of the fabric on her skin already made her feel different. She couldn’t manage the zipper on her own though. “Kylo, can you help me out?” He was behind her in moments zipping up the dress and turning her to face the mirror.

“You look incredible,” he said looking over her shoulder.

“I don’t look like myself,” she said tugging at the dress to adjust it correctly. 

“You look like a different version of yourself,” he said. “That’s all. It doesn’t change who you are.”

“But I- It’s just not how-“ she was trying to find the right words but she could see his point.

“And this goes very well with it.” he said taking her hand and fastening a silver watch around my wrist. “And this cost nothing so you can’t be opposed.”

She looked down at the delicate silver band and pearly white face. “There is no way this cost nothing. It looks like an antique.”

“Well it didn’t cost me anything,” he said. “It was my grandmothers. My grandfather gave it to her.”

“This is too much,” she said. “Kylo, I can't take this.”

“It suits you,” he said adjusting it slightly so it laid flat on her wrist. She couldn’t help but look at her reflection, their reflection. She almost wouldn’t have recognized herself. It wasn’t just the clothes and the jewelry. She had seen herself stand beside Poe hundreds of times. In photos, videos, in mirrors at dozens of parties. She had come to recognize herself as part of that pair instinctively. But standing beside Kylo she looked surer of herself. She stood beside Kylo as an equal, not as his charity case. And she wanted to keep it that way.

“Kylo,” she said turning away from the mirror to look up at him. “I know you just want to help. And I know you’re not trying to buy my feelings, but if you keep giving me all these things…it’s just going to end like all the rest.”

“It won’t,” he said. “You are nothing like anyone I have ever been with.”

“So let’s keep it that way,” she said. “Let’s do things different then you did before then we both did.”

“I just want you to be the best you can be,” he said. “And I want to help.”

“I know you do,” she said. “And I know for you that meant changing from Ben to Kylo.” She said his old name cautiously, not wanting to set him off. He winced but otherwise didn’t react. “But I’m fine still being Rey.” That seemed to solidify things for him. He gestured for her to turn around and after she did he unzipped her out of the dress. She stepped out of it, pulled on her own soft cotton shorts and tank top, before folding it back into the gift box. She undid the watch from her wrist offering it to him on her open palm. He closed both of his hands around hers.

“How about this,” he said looking at her. “I’ll return the dress and the half dozen other suits I had coming tomorrow-“

“Kylo!” she said.

“And I lend you the watch to wear tomorrow.” he finished with a wry smile at her reaction. “For good luck.”

“That I can agree to,” she said. 

“I do have another suggestion for your wardrobe,” he said.

“Which is?” 

“This shirt…” he said slipping his hands under the hem of her tank top. “I don’t think it suits you.”

“I was just thinking the same thing about yours,” she said starting to undo the buttons of his shirt.

“I am always open to suggestions,” he said as she pushed it off his shoulders. 

“Well,” she said leaning back as if considering him. “I think we need to start from scratch. This all has to go.”

“Whatever you say,” he said unfastening his belt.

“Wait,” she said laying a hand on his forearm. “Your meeting with your board. How did it go?”

“Fine,” he said too quickly, turning away from her and moving out of the closet into the bedroom. She followed him trying to gauge his expression.

“Fine?” she said. “What does that mean?”

“They went on a bit longer than I expected,” he said. “As if the first time they explained it to me wasn’t enough. It was the same conversation, on and on, just going in circles.” Rey’s stomach twisted in guilt. Here she was worried about her friends and she hadn’t even thought to ask about his business.

“Is- is it all ok?” she said not knowing the right thing to ask.

“Nothing has changed,” he said sitting on the edge of the bed. “I still own the Empire, you still work for the Empire, and you still have your promotion.”

“I didn’t realize those were things at risk of changing,” she said.

“They weren’t,” he said. “Armita- Hux wanted them to be. But Snoke knows I wouldn’t have done any of this if I didn’t know it was good for me and the company. He just doesn’t want to see me make mistakes.” 

“And I’m a mistake,” she said. “For you and the company.”

“You’re not,” he said taking her by the hand and pulling her close. He leaned his head against her collarbone, his hand resting on the small of her back. “You make me better. And starting tomorrow you will make the company even better.” She stroked his soft hair. “They’ll see that in time.”

“Hux won’t,” she said.

“Hux,” said Kylo with disgust lifting his head to look at her. “God, he looked so smug the whole time I was waiting for his face to collapse in on itself. He’ll never acknowledge anything of value beyond his own reflection. I wouldn’t waste breath trying to win him over.” He leaned back on his hands looking amused.

“Wasn’t planning on it,” said Rey moving forward to straddle him, her knees sinking into the soft duvet. He gripped her waist as she leaned down to kiss his neck. “I have much more useful ways to spend my time.”

“You’ll win the rest of them over,” he said. “Soon Snoke will see what I see in you. Just like he saw in me.” The hairs on the back of Rey’s neck still stood on end when she thought of how Snoke had looked at her, how he had talked about her. But she didn’t want to ruin the mood with her opinions of Kylo’s mentor, so instead of speaking, she kissed Kylo deeply, letting her hips rock forward.

He hummed against her lips, his hands closing around her waist. She held his face kissing him slowly in inhaling the heady combination of his cologne and his skin. How had it only been three days since she had given into him completely? How had she resisted as long as she had? How, after three days had his hands and his scent and his skin become such a balm to her frazzled nerves and scattered thoughts? “Thank you.” she murmured softly.

“You’re welcome,” he said. “For whatever I did.”

“It’s for everything you did,” she said. “And everything you’re doing.”

“Well,” he said laying back and gazing up at her. “In that case, thank you.” He moved them into the center of the bed, his hand on her thigh, looping her leg around his waist. They kissed slowly, hands drifting over each other. 

She had been waiting for the frantic hungry energy from that first night to come flooding back. She had thought once they admitted their feelings, the dam would burst, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from all but attacking him. But it had never come. Instead of whipping them into a frenzy coming together seemed to have soothed them both, letting them settle into a calm she couldn’t remember ever feeling. “It’s never been like- I’ve never been-“ she said laying her head on his shoulder. 

“Me either,” he said seeming to read her mind. He ran his fingers up and down her arm. “And as much as I would love to keep going, I think we should both get some sleep. I don’t want to be the reason you yawn your way through your first day. You need to keep sharp.”

“You’re right,” she said as they readjusted to shift under the duvet. He leaned over to flip off the light. “And we have plenty of nights to exhaust each other.”

“I look forward to that,” he said pulling her close again. “You will be incredible tomorrow.Good night, Rey.”

“Night,” she said smiling as she closed her eyes. 


	17. Chapter 17

Rey stood in the elevator as it rose through the floors. She was fighting every impulse to chew on her lip, pick at her nails or check her reflection yet again in the polished doors. She did tug carefully at the hem of her dress trying not to compare the blue cotton of her dress to the black silk of the dress Kylo had bought her. But she looked like herself, carefully smoothing the cuff of her black jacket over the small silver wristwatch. With each slide of the cool metal over her skin she seemed to hear Kylo’s reassuring words. _You will be incredible._ She was a managing editor. She had worked for this job, prepared for it and now all she had to do was start.

She wished she only had the expectations of the new job hanging over her and not Poe's anger, Finn and Rose's disapproval, the questions of her coworkers and the scrutiny of the entire media weighing her down. But she would hold her head high and pretend like none of it was happening.  

The doors opened and she released the breath she had been holding before stepping out into the office. She kept her eyes forward as she walked to her new desk, now located in the back of the office so she had a view of her team. She kept her eyes forward even as she felt her coworkers eyes on her. She came to her desk setting down her bag before looking up at them. Most of the team was turned almost completely around at their desks looking at her, but a few seemed to be restraining themselves to just glance over their shoulders. Her eyes shifted to Finn and Rose hopefully and they both seemed to have pasted on wide encouraging smiles. Her eyes skipped over Poe as she shifted her gaze to the team in general. 

"Hey," she said immediately wishing she'd begun with something more formal. "I'd like to talk to the members of my team in the conference room in a few. I'll send an email soon with details." She sat down at her desk logging into her computer. The office took an extra moment to consider her but then turned back to their work. She quickly fired off an email with a start time at 8:30 and reassurances it would be short to her team. She logged into her computer and saw there were several dozen emails from various news outlets asking for interviews. She selected them all and forwarded them to Phoebe Yates just as she had instructed. Phoebe told her that she and Kylo would have to give an interview eventually but they would want to choose someone who wouldn’t cross the line, who would give them final approval. But she wouldn’t think about any of that at work. She would try to keep all of that as separate from her work as she could and she only hoped her coworkers would do the same.

Rey stood just as the clock hit 8:29, wanting to be ahead of the team to prepare. She walked into the empty conference room turning on the lights and stepping up to the whiteboard at the front. She checked to makes sure the dry erase marker worked, writing out _New Series_ and by the time she turned around the team was starting to file in. She leaned on the table in front of her as she watched silently counting down. Three to go, two to go… it was 8:37 when Poe came in last, closing the door behind him and taking a seat at the back of the room despite the rows of empty chairs at the front. 

Rey stood at the front of the conference room having a horrible flashback to every grade school book report as she surveyed all the eyes aimed at her. "Obviously things around here are changing a lot." she began and then quickly thought to clarify. "Both at the Empire and every other media company. I want to begin a series on modern nostalgia. We endlessly want the next thing, the latest and greatest but also refuse to let go of things from our past."

"Like the mac and cheese bar in Queens." chimed in one of the food writers. "Their whole marketing strategy is 'Just like mom used to make' but they have a million gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan gourmet options."

"Exactly," said Rey. "But I don't want to outright condemn either the past or the advances. I want more of an examination of how we straddle the line between past and future and why we stay there. I want to see 3-5 pitches from each top you by noon. We'll ideally be running 10-12 stories, maybe some mixed media pieces, so if any of you have ideas on videos or crossover promotions, let me know. I'll have approvals and the deadline schedule to you by end of day. Any questions before I let you go?" She looked back and forth at the team trying not to focus on Poe. "Great, if anything comes up just let me know."

She smiled briefly before beginning to pack up her notes. "So it's just like that?" said Poe. He had walked from the back row up towards her. She looked up at him as she placed some ideas for graphics on top of a list of video ideas. 

"Just like what?" she said looking back down to her papers. 

"You just pack up your bag, have a press conference with him and show up Monday morning as if nothing happened?" he began to walk around the table backing her into a corner. She didn't let him, walking past him with her notes.

"I'm not talking about this at work," she said. "It's not the place for it. You had plenty of opportunities to reach out this weekend. I'll be by tonight to grab the last of my stuff and we can talk about it then. At the office, we talk about work and only work." She moved briskly to the end of the table and out the door hoping no one would notice that Poe and she had been alone but she saw many eyes flick away from her as she came through the door. She came back to her desk turning the silver watch around her wrist. Breakups were never easy. But working with Poe, having all the dirty laundry of their relationship on display for all of their coworkers (never mind the rest of the world) while also stepping into a position of control above him seemed impossible. She could only hope Poe's ire would fade with time and another scandal would take everyone else’s focus.

Rey sat at her desk approving the proposals as they came in, suggesting small changes and starting to build the posting schedule and drafting plans for the graphics department. A few of them even included small congratulations with their pitches, telling her she was doing great and that they loved her idea. As people started to trickle out for lunch she started checking off her list confirming each person had their stories approved and that they covered enough different topics. Food was covered, so were politics, sports, literature, tv, tech...  but film was noticeably lacking. And film was Poe's specialty. She already knew the answer before she double checked her inbox. Poe hadn't sent her any pitches yet. She glanced up at him and he was idly rearranging his desk, switching his stapler from the left to right side, testing pens and disposing of faded post-its. She looked away telling herself he was just brainstorming. But she knew he wasn't. When he was brainstorming he compulsively typed and scrolled online, looking for ideas or inspiration. This was his 'slacking off but trying to look busy' routine. 

She stood intending to walk to his desk and say something but thought better of it and passed his desk heading to the kitchen instead. She stood in front of the coffee machine cracking her knuckles and trying not to look at Poe. But she had no reason to worry. Before her cup was filled, Poe had left the office. She walked back to her desk wanting so badly to see an email from Poe, his pitches or even just a note saying he needed an extra hour to come up with ideas. But there was nothing. She exhaled slowly deciding to build the rest of the schedule as best she could without his work. She placed an order for delivery and worked through lunch, eating at her desk. She tried not to compulsively check her inbox, she tried not to notice how he took a full 90 minutes for lunch instead of the hour they were allotted, she tried not to stare him down as he proceeded to clean his keyboard, change the wallpaper on his desktop and scroll through his phone. 

 

When he was an hour and half past the deadline she sent a group message to her team. "Hey! Last call for pitches. I need to build the posting deadline. Let me know if you've come up with any new ideas for videos." It only applied to Poe but she hoped this would look most casual. She heard the alert sound across the office and watched as Poe registered the message and closed it, to go back to restacking his post-its. He was being blatant. She stewed for another few minutes wondering what to do. She finally stood walking over to him. He saw her coming and slid his headphones on as she approached. Her steps stuttered as he did. This wasn't just being passive, he was actively ignoring her. She stopped dead in front of his desk and when he finally glanced up she gestured for him to remove his headphones. He slid one off his ear looking at her. "Yeah?" he said looking annoyed. 

"I need your pitches," she said. "Actually I needed them over an hour and a half ago."

"I'll get to them," he said moving to slide his headphones back on. 

"I need them now," she said. 

"Why?" His hand rested on his headphones ready to slide them back into place. She could feel the office looking at them.

A dozen answers passed by her brain, explanations of schedules, graphics, production, themes but she finally snapped. "Because I'm your managing editor and I said I needed them at 12. It's 1:45. It's 3 pitches Poe, 2 sentences each. Can you not handle that?"

"You're worried about people taking on more than they can handle," he said leaning back in his chair. "Bit late for that." 

"And you're unable to do to the bare minimum of what people expect from you." she snapped back. "I don't know why I'm surprised."

"I think we both have a lot to say on people not doing what we expect," he said. She bristled and swore she could hear people murmuring behind her. "But I don't think you want to discuss that here." She stood staring at him her skin growing hot.

"Just get me your pitches." she said and walked back to her desk. He smirked sliding his headphones back on. In under a minute she had a new message in her inbox from Poe with 6 pitches, all fully fleshed out. He had probably finished them 10 minutes after the meeting and had just been holding them to get a rise out of her. She approved two of the pitches and completed the rest of her work in the next 30 minutes.  She got an IM from Finn that said "You're just adjusting to the new dynamic. It'll work itself out." She clenched her fists as she stared at the words. Of course, Finn would find a way to make it her fault. He could never just see that Poe was being the jackass. 

She took out her phone around 4 sending a text to Poe. "I'll be at the apartment tonight to pack up the last of my stuff. You can be there or not. I'll just give you the key in the office." She then sent a message to Kylo, feeling calmed just by reading the previous messages from him. 

"I'm going to pack up the last of my stuff tonight. I should be back by 7. Let me know if you want me to grab dinner." 

His response was almost immediate. "I'll help you pack up." 

"It's almost nothing, just some clothes, my laptop, and my favorite mug. I can handle it.” 

"I don't want you alone with him." Rey began to type that Poe probably wouldn’t be there but, as if on cue, Poe responded to her text.

_I'll be there, you can give me the key then._

"I'll be fine." She hoped she was right.

"It's not you I'm worried about. He's already shown himself to be impulsive and volatile." 

"And you being there won't make him anymore calm. I've got this." 

A few minutes passed and she waited for his argument. "Alright. Remember to take the town car so Phoebe doesn’t lose her mind. Call if you change your mind about wanting me there. I'll take care of dinner.” Rey knew wherever he was Kylo was seething at the idea of her alone with Poe. She wondered if she should even tell him about Poe’s behavior in the office today. But she could only handle this mess one day at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is short but there is a VERY long chapter coming up, I promise. And it is worth the wait.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know I said I had a long chapter coming up, but it got so long I had to split it into two!
> 
> Shout out to GreyWarrior for leaving me a review through EVERY CHAPTER as they read it in a single night.

Rey opened the door to her apartment, reflexively checking the bowl for Poe's keys and exhaled in relief when she saw it was empty. She had gotten here ahead of him. She moved quickly to the bedroom opening the closet pulling down the hangers with her clothes and laying them on the bed. When she removed the last winter coat she pulled down her suitcase opening it to begin packing but stopped cold. Inside was a photo strip from a weekend trip they had taken to Atlantic City years ago. 

She remembered how she had rolled her eyes when he spotted it and pulled her into the booth. “All our photos are on our phones.” he’d said. “I want one I can hold onto.” She lifted it to examine it, knowing she couldn't afford to take this time. She hardly recognized the people in the photo. She knew their smiles weren't forced in the first frame, that it was genuine glee in the second as he put up bunny ears behind her head, his laughter was genuine as she crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue in the next photo. And in the final photo, as they were pressed nose to nose, their affection was real. How had they gotten here? How had they turned into such different people? "That was a good trip." she heard from behind her and jumped. Poe was standing behind her arms crossed as he leaned against the doorframe. She dropped the photo back into her suitcase and began piling her jackets over it. "I always figured we'd have a lot more."

"I'm not doing this," she said finishing the clothes on the bed and opening the drawers of their dresser.

"You said we couldn't talk at the office, now we can't talk at home. Where can we talk?" he said.

She fought the urge to point out this was no longer her home. "Fine." she said still not looking at him as she began piling jeans and tank tops into the bag. "But I'm not here to reminisce. I get that you're upset about how things are now but we can't act like that at the office. You may not take my promotion seriously but I do and I'm not going to spend all my time fighting you for every draft and assignment."

"I was being a jerk today," he said. "I admit it. But can you blame me? You come home one night, tell me you're screw-" he paused as if reconsidering his words. "That you're with someone else, slap me, and the next day you're telling the world at a press conference. How was I supposed to act normally after all that?”

Rey worked not to roll her eyes at Poe's version of events. He probably believed it and had repeated it to Finn, Rose and anyone else who would listen. "I only slapped you because you called me a whore. And let's not act like this ended overnight. Things hadn't been right for weeks, maybe months. You were cheating on me long before Kylo ever showed up." She finally looked at him daring him to deny it.

"I-" he sat on the bed looking at her. "It never meant anything."

"It meant something to me," she said. 

"That's not what- I mean, I never had feelings for them. Her." 

Them.  So it had not only been more than one time but more than one person. "That doesn't make it any better. I still sat at home feeling worthless and unwanted. And if you were cheating something was already wrong. And I tried to fix that. The morning after I didn't come home I really meant what I said. I gave us a fresh start, I wiped the slate clean. But you didn't give it a real try. The second I didn't do exactly what you wanted, you screwed someone else. Again."

"I know," he said sitting at the head of the bed dropping his head into his hands scrubbing at his eyes. "I know. I know I screwed up. I just felt like you were leaving me behind and I lashed out. But we've done the worst thing we can do to each other now. Do you really want to throw away the last 3 years over a few bad weeks? You can't give me one more chance?"

She closed the drawer staring at her feet instead of looking at him. It was harder than she'd thought to hear him say that, especially in this apartment, the home they had shared for so long. "No." she said finally looking at him. "I have given you so many chances. One more won't change anything."

"Is it because of him?" she said. "Because you've already stood next to him in front of the whole world and-“

"That's not why," she said sitting on the opposite corner of the bed. "Even if I gave you, us, another chance, even if I forgave you for all the things you did... We're not right for each other. We used to be. But we've grown, we changed. I don't want to be with someone who resents my success, who wants me to stay just where I am. I need someone who pushes me, who wants me to be the best version of myself, who doesn't question my successes and decisions. Kylo does all of that for me."

"It's never that I resented your success. I just- I know you. I see how you obsess and stress over every detail. I've seen you practically give yourself an ulcer trying to plan out the next five years. Taking on a promotion like this means even more stress. I just wanted to protect you from all that."

“And that's exactly what someone else needs. And maybe it was what I needed when we met. But it's not anymore. ”

“So you just get all you can and move on,” he said. “I was just practice until you could sink your hooks into someone as big as Kylo Ren.”

“Christ, Poe.” she said standing up to face him. She had almost started to soften to Poe, remembering why she had stayed with him so long but he seemed to be an expert in pushing her buttons lately. “You can’t even fathom that this has nothing to do with money.”

Poe stood stepping towards her.“What, did you fall for him for his sparkling personality? His kindness? His warm demeanor?”

“Yes,” said Rey staring him down. “That’s exactly why.” There were a hundred other reasons why but she didn’t owe them to anyone else, especially Poe.

“You were never a good liar Rey,” said Poe. “Soon Kylo will see right through you and if you walk out the door now you will have no one left to catch you when you fall flat on your face.” Rey looked away from him opening the next drawer, not bothering to try to keep the clothes folded moving handful after handful of bras, underwear, and leggings into the suitcase.

“And this is why I didn’t want to talk.” she said. “Because you don’t want me to be happy. You don’t want me to believe I can be happy anywhere but under your thumb. I want you to be able to move on, I want you to find the right person for you. But you won’t ever want the same for me.” She closed the last drawer roughly before moving to the bathroom. She opened the cabinet pulling down her prescription bottle for her migraines. She turned to move past him but he was standing in the doorway.

“You are making a mistake,” he said. “And I love you or I wouldn’t care what happens to you.”

“You don’t,” she said. “Not anymore.” She tried to walk around him but he put up his arm stopping her.

“How can you say that?” he said. “I wouldn’t be fighting for you this hard if I didn’t.”

“Because you only started fighting for me when there was someone to take me away,” she said. She forced her way past him out into the bedroom zipping her suitcase shut and moving it to the living room. She grabbed her laptop shoving it into the outside pocket of the suitcase. 

“Rey, you are going to look back and regret this,” said Poe. “You’re reaching for something you can’t handle, something you don’t deserve and you’re going to end up with nothing.” She wanted to slap him again but pulled her favorite mug from the drying rack by the sink. 

“I don’t care what you think anymore,” she said. “About my love life or my career path. At work, tomorrow just turn in your work and take corrections like we are any other coworkers. No more sniping at me, no more threats, no more picking fights.”

“You have humiliated me in front of everyone we know. Tell me why you deserve my respect or my discretion?”

“What discretion? It was bad enough when you sold those photos of the night I left.” she said. “But somehow you have deluded yourself into thinking you are the victim in all this.” Her eyes swept the apartment one more time. She spotted a few more things of hers, a painting she had bought at a thrift store, candles she had bought at a farmers market. She knew she had a dozen other little things in drawers and cabinets but they weren’t worth it to stay in this apartment another minute. And they were all parts of the girl she had been with Poe. She wanted to leave it all behind. She dragged her suitcase to the front door looking back at him. “And if you ever pull a stunt like you did today, I won’t hesitate to ruin you.” She slammed the door behind her feeling a deep satisfaction the way the slam echoed down the hall. She dropped her head down as she stepped onto the sidewalk loading her suitcase into the trunk and getting into the car. 

“Everything alright?” said the driver who had picked her up from work.

“Just fine.” said Rey. “I’m ready to go home.” She pushed her headphones into her ears selecting a random playlist as the car pulled away.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, this chapter was worth the wait!

The driver helped her unload her bag once they reached Kylo’s building and as she took the elevator up to the penthouse she felt a rage bubbling up inside her. She had wasted so much time trying to tiptoe around Poe’s feelings, wasting time she could have had with Kylo. She was done putting him first. She opened the door leaving her bag and shoes in the front hall as she walked to the kitchen. Kylo was taking foil containers out of a brown paper bag and piling them on the counter. 

“Good timing,” he said. “The food just got here. I hope you didn’t have any trouble with-“

“Don’t say his name,” she said. “His name is banned from this apartment, I never want to hear it again.” She pulled her jacket off her shoulders throwing it on the table. 

“Rey?” he said looking at her concerned as she walked up to him. 

“I’m fine,” she said swiftly unbuttoning his shirt. “Now are you gonna help me or do I have to undress us both?” He looked like he wanted to say something but thought better of it and pulled his shirt off as she pulled her dress over her head throwing it to join her jacket on the table. Kylo moved her back, pushing her up against the marble island with his hips, kissing her hard. “That’s more like it.” she said as he kissed down her neck.

“You like that?” he said sliding his hands down her thighs and lifting her up to sit on the cool stone. She wrapped her legs around him pulling him closer.

“I like you.” She ran her nails down his shoulder enjoying how he hissed, watching red lines bloom across his pale skin. He reached behind her undoing the clasp of her bra moving his mouth down to suck at her nipples as it fell away. She let her head fall back as his mouth moved against her his teeth nipping at the sensitive skin. “That’s not bad either.”

“I could just have you for dinner instead,” he said pulling back to look at her. He ran his hand down the center of her body stroking against her warm center through her underwear with his long fingers.

“I wouldn’t mind,” she said her breath hitching as his fingers pressed against her. He kissed her again his lips moving slowly against hers as his fingers worked against her in almost the same rhythm. She looped her arms around his shoulders and as his tongue brushed against hers he slipped her underwear aside stroking her bare skin. She shivered at the dual sensation and he tilted his head kissing her deeper as he pressed two fingers inside her. “Oh-“ she rocked her hips forward into him as he stroked her. “Wait-“ she said gripping his shoulder. “Wait you took care of me last time, it’s your turn.”

“What do you mean?” he said biting at her shoulder as he added a third finger. She moaned out as he did but then took hold of his wrist pulling his hand back.

“I mean get those pants off,” she said getting off the island and pushing him up against the table. He undid his belt as Rey dropped to her knees and slid down his pants with his briefs. She leaned forward letting her tongue trace up his length and he leaned back gripping the edge of the table. She sucked on the tip of his cock into her mouth and he growled as she did and she saw his hands tighten. She pulled back licking her lips and working her hand up and down his cock as she looked up at him. “Something like that.”

“Yeah,keep doing that,” he said his hips thrusting forward in her hand. “Please, Rey.” She smiled at the desperate edge in his voice and pressed him into her mouth again. His hands fell to the crown of her head, curling into her hair. She could tell he wanted to push her forward, press himself to the back of her throat as far as he could but he was holding back. She closed her eyes, establishing a slow torturous rhythm, running her tongue along his shaft, sucking and letting her tongue flick against his slit as it dripped precum. He leaned back, one hand gripping the edge of the table the other resting at the crown of her head. She could feel his hips straining with each stroke and flick of her tongue. “Look at me.” he said his hand tightening in her hair. She angled her eyes up and for a moment he was almost unrecognizable to her. He looked like he was moments away from breaking something like all he wanted to do was get his hands on something and destroy it. She gripped his hips then pushing him to the back of her throat in one deep thrust, as he cried out, “Fuck, Rey!” She sped herself forward, following the pace his hips wanted to set and he followed her lead thrusting hard into her mouth. He hit the back of her throat with each thrust. “So fucking good,” he growled and she shivered at the sound of his voice. “Harder.” he said with a rough snap of his hips. She was so used to seeing him in control, watching him unravel was fascinating. He started urging even faster, his thrusts not as long, more frantic and wild. She knew he was moments away from coming, could feel the tension growing- “Wait.” he said using the hand in her hair to wrench her back. She let her head fall back hissing at the tug to her hair, her chest heaving as she fought to catch her breath, sitting back on her knees.

“Why?” she said her hand resting on his hip besides his cock, slick from her mouth, his cum dripping onto her thigh. “I thought you were close.”

“I am.” he said closing his eyes for a moment before he could look back down at her. “Get up.” She stood, and before she could catch her breath he turned her around bent her across the kitchen table, stepping behind her. She turned to look over her shoulder at him but gasped out as he placed a hand between her shoulder blades pressing her firmly down. “Hands over your head.” he said. “Hold onto the table.”

She moved her hands over her head gripping the opposite edge of the table as he dragged his hands down her sides and then his touch disappeared from her skin.

“Kylo?” she said softly. She wanted to lift her head and look at him but she knew it was best to stay in place.

“I’m here.” he said his hand brushing up her thigh before it disappeared again.

“I want you.” she said raising herself up on her toes. The warmth had been pooling between her legs since she had slipped off the counter and she could feel her underwear were soaked through. 

“I know,” he said. “But you’ve been the one coming and going as you wanted-“ His fingers traced down her spine. “You have no idea what it was like to see you day after day in the office after having you in my bed. I wanted to have you into my office and fuck you up against the glass. And I couldn’t even touch you.” 

“Kylo, please,” she said. Her skin was cold against the wood of the table and all she wanted was his hands on her again. “I’m sorry-“

“I’m not asking you to be sorry,” he said. “I just want you to feel what it was like to have you so near, to have felt you, touched you and not be able to again. God, every day I couldn’t have you just made me want you more.”

“Please,” she said writhing on the table. “Let me make up for lost time.” 

“You mean it?” he said and she could feel the heat of his body as he stood behind her, the tip of his cock brushing her inner thighs. “You want this?”

“I do.” she said. “I want-“ She felt one hand at the small of her back and then the other tore her underwear away from her body in one sharp motion. “Kylo-“She lifted her head to look back but before she could turn back, his hands were on her hips and he had thrust his cock deep inside her. Rey cried out somewhere between pain and pleasure at the sensation of being so completely filled. And then he pulled back, she was empty again, her body flexing around his absence. She whined but before she could find words he filled her again as he began fucking her against the table her hipbones slamming against the sharp edge of the table. He followed the same frantic rhythm with one hand on her shoulders, holding her against the table. She felt herself hurtling towards her climax, begging him to keep going, her words muffled into the table.

Kylo pulled back and then slid his cock into her slowly and leaned down his hips stilled and his mouth close to her ear. “You’re done with him. Say it.” he said his voice low, almost a growl. He was splayed across her back, his weight pressing her into the table.

“I’m done with him.” she said without hesitation turning her head to the side to be sure he heard her. “Please Kylo, I’m so close-” She wanted to reach between her legs, rub at her clit, push herself over the edge he had her teetering on.

“Say it again.” he said thrusting again, but only once. 

“I’m done with him,” she said her hips straining back. “I can take more.”

“Oh, I know you can,” he said. “I look forward to finding out just how much.” He thrust again and she cried out gripping the edge of the table tighter.

“I’m done with him,” she said again without his prompting and was rewarded with another thrust. “I’m done, I’m done, I’m done.” 

It became a steady rhythm, her chant followed by his thrusts. His hand became intertwined in her hair at some point twisting her head to the side to kiss her roughly.She bit at his lip desperate to have more of him. “I’ve got you,” he said pulling himself out of her completely even as she whimpered in protest. He pulled her back to standing with the hand in her hair. He turned her so she could finally look at him and he looked just as wild and desperate as she felt. He moved backward pulling her toward the living room.She could tell they were aimed for the couch but in her rush to move them there faster they stumbled and fell to the ground, Rey on top of him. 

“And I’ve got you,” she said pushing him to lay flat on his back, straddling him, pressing him inside her again and starting to ride him.He gripped her hips trying to drive her faster and she desperately tried to follow as her muscles ached with the effort and her knees ground into the rug. “I just want you.”

“I’ll give you everything you want,” he said. “Everything you need.”

“I need you,” she said. She slowed her hips and started moving up and down more deliberately watching his face. “I just need you.” He gazed up at her, sitting up, the angle of his cock shifting inside her She readjusted wrapping her arms around his shoulders, her hips still moving against him. He gripped her tightly as he came inside her with a moan and a final thrust.

“You have me,” he said as she felt the warmth spread inside her. Rey shuddered and her orgasm washed over her just as he finished, chasing him over the edge. She leaned in to kiss him as she came holding him tightly. As their bodies finally slowed, they disconnected, Rey shifting off him to lay beside him on the floor. She tasted the metallic tang of blood realizing she drawn blood from his lip at some point.

“Sorry,” she said rolling on her side and running her thumb over his red lip. “I think I got a little carried away.”

“It’s fine,” he said looking over her. “I think I got you a couple times too.” She looked down and saw the smattering of bruises across her waist, rug burn on her knees and nail marks down her skin. 

“I don’t mind,” she said with a smile. “I’ll just have to dress a little creatively while I heal up.” She smiled a bit as she looked over at him and then back up to the ceiling her arm across his chest. “Wish I could come home to this every night.”

“We could,” he said. “We just might need to have a physical therapist on call.” She laughed a little, nestling into the crook of his neck.

After a few minutes, he sat up, pulling her to her feet. “Why don’t we get cleaned up and I’ll get dinner reheated.” She nodded and moved to the bathroom cleaning herself up quickly, smoothing back her tousled hair into a bun and pulling on leggings and a t-shirt from the suitcase she pulled in from the front hall.

Out of habit when she walked from the bedroom to the kitchen she checked her phone, scrolling through Twitter. She saw more photos of herself, from college, from charity dinners, even from today. The few steps between the town car and the front door of the office had been captured, post and scrutinized. Some suspected her Target tote bag was secretly designer, some sighted her simple dress as a sign that things were already going south with Kylo. No matter how careful she was, the designer clothes she refused, the interview requests she rejected and the hundred other steps she took, they wouldn’t ever stop. She couldn’t stop herself as she scrolled through post after post, her eyes scanning every comment.

“The sorbet is a loss,” said Kylo who was already back in the kitchen in the process of reheating the food. “But everything else should be fine.” He looked at her and caught her expression. She showed him her phone before he could ask and he scanned it quickly before she turned it face down on the counter. “Are you alright?”

"I just thought-" she exhaled. "I thought things could be the same with time. But they're never going to be, are they?"

"No." said Kylo simply. "It won't. You'll adjust to it, and it'll feel normal eventually but it'll never be like it was before. Do you regret that?"

"No." she said appreciating that he hadn’t tried to sugarcoat things. “No, I just- I didn't know it would be this different."

"I tried to tell you," he said. "Or- I should have explained it better. Before, when I said this had to stay secret, I wasn't trying to hide you, I wasn't ashamed. I just didn't want to do this to you."

"I choose this," she said. "You didn't force me into it. If anything I forced you via karaoke."

"I sang back," he said. "So no one forced anyone and we both chose each other."

"Agreed." she said.“But I think we need to retire from karaoke in the future.”

“Agreed," he said moving towards the oven as a timer beeped. “Can you get us drinks? I'll have whatever you have." She opened the liquor cabinet as Kylo began to plate the food and pulled down a bottle of red wine at random and a pair of glasses.

“Is this one alright?” she said.

“You have good taste,” he said examining the label before extracting the cork. “Chateau Brane makes a great Bordeaux.”

“I didn’t grab a million dollar bottle did I?” she said nervously as he poured them both glasses.

“Of course not,” he said taking a sip, she following his lead. “Only $500.”

Rey nearly spits her sip but swallowed it back. “That’s probably more than I’ve spent in wine in a year.” She took a second sip, tasting the wine more carefully. “But it’s delicious.”

“Hopefully dinner is too,” he said. “Sit and we’ll find out.” 

After dinner Rey insisted on helping him clean up, washing as he dried. “I feel like it’s really over now,” she said. “I mean I’m really here, present with you. I don’t have one foot in Harlem anymore.” She handed him the last wine glass, shutting off the water in the sink, watching him as he dried it. 

“So are you officially moved in?” he said. 

“Once I tackle the suitcase I brought today, I’m even unpacked,” she said.

“Then I can give you your housewarming present,” he said taking her hand. 

“No,” she said. “No more clothes, no more jewelry. I told you I didn’t want-“

“Shh.” he said pulling her into one of the guest rooms. “At let see what it is before you say no.” She glared up at him but finally turned back, looking into the room. The bed was gone and in its place was a standing desk and with a pair of large monitors. There was a cup of her favorite pens, post its, and even one of the oversized mugs she loved.

“Kylo…” she said looking at him.

“You always said you always wanted a real office at home to work on your own projects,” he said. “And a standing desk to keep the blood flowing.”

“It’s…” she walked over to the desk running her fingers over the wood surface of the desk, titanium keyboard, and the leather-bound notebook. “No offense to the dress, but this is the best gift anyone has ever given me.”

“What about the watch?” he said.

“You said it was a loan, not a gift.” she said touching the watch face subconsiously.“So it doesn’t count.”

“True.” he said. “And anything you want changed, anything I missed, just let me know.” He gestured to the side table. “I’ve got a scanner and printer but if you need a whiteboard, bulletin board, anything-“

“It’s perfect.” she said. “Down to the paperclips.”

“Good,” he said with a kind of smile she hadn’t seen before somewhere between pride and satisfaction. She wrapped her arms around him lifting on her toes to kiss him softly. “And there may, or may not be some things in the closet-”

“Kylo-“

“I couldn’t help myself,” he said. “Wear them or don’t. You don’t even have to look at them. Now, are you ready for bed?”

“Yes,” she said walking towards their bedroom. “Today felt like it was a year long. And I get to do it all over again tomorrow.”

“Every day it gets easier,” he said. “No, actually that’s a lie.” 

“Thanks,” she said going into the bathroom to brush her teeth. “I feel better now."

“It doesn’t get easier,” he said picking up his own toothbrush. “You just get better.” She watched him in the mirror brushing her own teeth. She felt like tonight would be the first time they got into bed just the two of them, without the ghost of Poe between them. 

As Rey nestled against Kylo he put his arm around her pulling her close to him, kissing the back of her neck. “Tomorrow we’re out of our Phoebe imposed 72-hour hold. What really changes once that’s gone?” she said.

“We can go out to dates together without her having a point by point battle plan beforehand,” he said. “I think after you publish the first round of your pieces I should take you out to a celebration lunch.”

“In public?” she said, grateful she was facing away from him. She was happy not to be hiding, but the last time they had been out in public together at the press conference it had not been smooth sailing. And there would be no podium to hide behind, no back hallways to slip down.

“As public as we want,” he said. “Or as private as we need if you’re not ready for it.”

“Public is good.” she said. “The first round will be out on Wednesday morning. Make a reservation for that afternoon.”

“Bagatelle sound good?” he said.

“Sounds great.” she said. Bagatelle had been a favorite hunting ground of the staff of JakkuHub. Between the outdoor seating and the constant celebrity patrons, the paparazzi were practically a feature of the restaurant. Her heart began racing as she let her mind wander. 

“We can go someplace else,” he said. “Or we can do a private celebration at home.

“We’re not going to hide out here forever,” she said. “And I’ve always been the type to dive in headfirst.”

“And that’s exactly why you’re the girl for me,” he said. He fell asleep soon after but Rey couldn’t sleep now. She and Kylo were great together, there was no question of that. But she wasn’t sure if she was cut out for all the things that came with it.


	20. Chapter 20

Rey had taken Kylo’s advice and entered the office through the underground parking today. As she got off the elevator she was pleased to see Poe wad at his desk, working away. Maybe some part of her talk yesterday had sunk in and they could at least keep work professional. She sat at her new desk sending out an email to her team with the due dates for their pieces as well as setting up further meetings with the media team for the video projects. Some of the projects were due as early as today but they were listicles, the kind of thing she could bang out in an hour or two. They could handle it. 

She was finally starting to get into the flow of her new job now that all the pieces were falling into place. Kylo was right. The job wasn’t easy, she would just have to rise to the occasion. And she knew she could. 

She started to get notes from a few of the members of her team, asking for clarification or wanting to make tweaks to her assignments. She tried to be flexible, but also not a pushover, encouraging without becoming saccharine.Every time Poe’s name came up in an email, or his name popped into her inbox she wished her heart didn’t race and she didn’t break into a cold sweat. But he seemed to actually be behaving, keeping their fight last night out of the office. She was surprised. Poe was just a stubborn as she was and she knew no amount of arguing or evidence would ever convince him he was wrong. She had viewed it as a strength of character, someone who held strong to his convictions. But now she realized it was exactly what made him so formidable to have as an enemy. 

The thought hit her like a brick wall. Poe was her enemy now. He didn’t want what was best for her and their relationship hadn’t been a partnership. He didn’t want them to succeed. He wanted to win and now that he wasn’t, his true colors were showing. But maybe seeing that would make things easier now. 

She went online, ordered her lunch and started reviewing the pieces that were coming in. People were turning in good work, work she would be happy to put her own name on. She picked up her phone and started scrolling as her ordered lunch landed on her desk. As she opened the plastic containers of noodles and edamame she opened her personal email and saw something from Phoebe Yates, marked **Urgent!** with the subject line:  OPEN! ASAP! FOLLOW CAREFULLY! She opened it and saw the short email in bold font.

‘The 72-hour hold ends today. Attached are rules of protocol. Please read and follow carefully. If anything is unclear, CALL ASAP!’ 

She smiled as she opened the 34-page document reading through categories like “Public Outings”, “Press Conferences” (a single bullet point followed ‘CALL ME’),“Everyday Events”, settling on one called “Formal Events” to read more carefully. It had a dozen subcategories underneath “Red Carpets”, “Charity Balls”, “Operas”, “Gallery Exhibitions”, “Benefits” and on and on. Her smile faded as she read through it all. There were dozens of rules for events she had never considered she would attend as a guest. Rules detailing who she could and couldn’t talk to, how she could talk to them, what she could reveal. There was a protocol for everything, down to appropriate drinks she could have in public and which brands she could wear. 

Her life had already changed so much, and she hadn’t realized it was anywhere close to slowing down. As long as she was with Kylo, she was under a microscope. She double checked the list, Bagatalle was indeed on the approved list, which was why Kylo had chosen it. She scrolled to the rules Phoebe had laid out. It was all doable, indoor tables only, and the full menu was open to her. But dress code…she read through the rules knowing before she got to the end that nothing in her closet was right. Kylo wouldn’t care what she wore or how she looked. But there would be photographers and everyone else would pick her apart. She shouldn’t care either but she couldn’t stand reading one more post, picking her apart. Ben was turning his life inside out, she could at least try to play by the rules.

She got through the day easily enough, scheduling all of the articles to be posted and finishing up her notes. She was still one of the last ones out of the office but mercifully avoided Poe and slipped out through the garage unbothered by the paparazzi staked out on the sidewalk. Kylo was right. It wasn’t any easier to live under a microscope, but she was getting a little better, day by day.

She was home before Kylo that night and headed into the room Ben had set up as her office. She stood at the desk logging into her email and opening up Phoebe’s document, rereading the guidelines for attire. She took a deep breath before opening the closet Ben had prepared. She had expected a few things, the black dress he had given her and the suits he had hinted at.But there were at least 3 dozen outfits waiting for her, shoes, jackets, scarves, everything she would need. She flipped through the clothes slowly, each one beautiful, and something close to what she would have chosen for herself. But he still felt strange, like she was snooping through a strangers closet. She pursed her lips, flipping through each one. Her fingers lingered on a plum-colored sheath with a keyhole peeking out from the high neckline. She carried it over to the laptop, reading through the rules again. Approved length, color, style. It would be perfect for Bagatalle. She heard the front door open and close and hurriedly hung it back in the closet as she heard Kylo calling for her. Her cheeks burned red as if she had been caught. “Rey? You home yet?” She leaned back out into the hallway.

“In the office,” she called back. She went back to the computer opening up her work email to double check the article schedule was approved and exactly as she wanted it.

“Breaking it in already?” he said coming in behind her but lingering by the doorway. “How’s it doing?”

“Great,” she said. “And work was better today, I’m finding my groove now that I’ve figured things out. All I can do now is to see how the articles go.”

“And how did-“ Kylo started but stopped himself. “How is everyone else?”

“They’re adjusting,” she said, also avoiding saying Poe’s name. “Everyone played nice today.”

“I know a lot of those people are your friends,” said Kylo. “But you can’t just expect everyone to be nice because you used to be-“

“I can handle my team,” she said laying her hand on his wrist. “And I promise I’m not just being nice.”

“Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to imply-“

“I know you didn’t.” she said. “And I know you have a few more years of managing slightly bigger teams. I swear when I do have questions, you will hear them. But I’m going to try and do this my way first.”

“Of course,” said Kylo. “And it’ll be great.”

“And I am all set for lunch tomorrow to celebrate it,” she said. “Even after reading Phoebe’s war plan.”

“Ah so you’ve been sent your copy of the rules according to Phoebe Yates,” he said. “Her thoughts on polka dots are…disturbingly detailed.”

“For or against?” said Rey with a creased brow. 

“I’ll let you discover it on your own,” he said with a laugh. “And Phoebe’s intense because I pay her to be but they’re just guidelines. I don’t care if you wear unapproved hairstyles or red lipstick before noon.”

“I’m already making your life harder,” she said. “I’m going to do what I can to keep that to a minimum.”

“You have only made my life better.” said Kylo. “I’ll let you finish up your work while I unpack dinner. Hope you like Greek.”

“Did you get baklava?” she said hopefully.

“Of course.” he said. 

“I’ll be done soon.” she said turning back to her computer. She looks back to the closed closet. She looked back at her emails double checking the notes from the multimedia team. If the media scrutinized her hair and bags she knew they’d be picking over her work even more. She went back to Phoebe’s document skimming over the other pages until she reached the end. She had hoped for some last catchall tip, a mantra to follow or some final piece of advice but it was just a list of phone numbers to call for various events. There was a tailor for formal gowns, a florist for sending out flowers and the name of a personal shopper. Rey wished there was a number for a friend to have a cup of coffee with who wouldn’t judge her. Rey had dozens of people from her past coming out of the woodwork offering faux platitudes while barely hiding their desire for insider information. Rose was trying, but she could tell he sided with Finn and Poe. She closed her email coming back to the kitchen where Ben was finishing setting out the food.

She chose wine from the bar, liking how after such a short time they had a routine already falling into place. “We can’t just live off takeout.” she said. “I can cook you know.”

“But you started a new job.” he said. “I’m just trying to make things easier for you as you get used to things. And you can live off take out, I’ve been doing it for years.” 

Rey dipped her pita in tzatziki as she rolled her eyes. “I have been feeding myself and handling a job just fine.”

“But you don’t have to anymore.” said Kylo. “I know you’ve been doing it all, keeping all the plates spinning but you can take a breath. It’s dinner, let me take it off your plate.”

Rey wanted to argue but instead, she smirked. “Just put the spanakopita on my plate.” she said passing hers over.

“Happily.” he said piling them on her plate. She watched him. He liked taking care of her, liked being able to provide for her. Poe had liked that too. She hated the thought, even as it crossed her mind but she couldn’t help it. All the accusations from online swirled through her head. She was a gold digger, a social climber, a girl from nothing screwing her way to the top- 

“Saturday.” she said. “I can do dinner on Saturday when I’m not burned out from work.”

“Actually we’ve been invited to dinner on Saturday,” he said. “I was going to tell you.”

“By who?” said Rey taking a bite of her falafel.

“Snoke.” said Kylo. “To celebrate your promotion.”

“The one he didn’t want to give me?” she said. “That he threatened to fireyou for?”

“Snoke was on our side during the board meeting.” said Kylo.

“Your side.” said Rey. “Snoke doesn’t-“

“My side is your side.” said Kylo. “I know he wasn’t great the first time he met, but this is the best way to get him to warm up to you. He’s offering an olive branch Rey. You and I didn’t have the greatest first impression either.”

“Fine.” said Rey. “Where are we having dinner?”

“His place.” said Kylo. “Just the three of us. Please, Rey, Snoke is a mentor to me and it’s important you two get along.”

“Ok.” she said softening a bit. She could tell this was important to him. “Ok. I’ll be there.” He squeezed Rey’s hand before opening the wine and pouring them each a glass.

“Thank you.” he said. “You’ll see there’s a different side to him outside the office.”

“I just know people like him.” said Rey. “Who look down at people like me and think we’ll never be good enough, that no matter how hard we work because we don’t have designer clothes and Ivy league educations and tennis lessons-“

“Like me?” said Kylo.

“You’re different.” she said. 

“You didn’t think that when I first bought the Empire.” said Kylo. “I know you’ve had to deal with assholes your whole life and I know they’re out there. Trust me, you will never hear me defend Hux. But Snoke helped me out at the roughest time of my life, when I felt completely alone. He taught me so much and I want you to have someone you can lean on too.”

“Ok.” said Rey. “I’ll try.” She knew this was important to Kylo, could tell how much it meant to him but something about Snoke made her skin crawl. They ate in silence for a few minutes and she hated how the tension hung in the air.

“I have an early morning meeting.” said Kylo breaking the silence. “So I’ll be gone before you get up in the morning. But I’ll pick you up at the office for lunch.”

“In the garage?” she said.

“Sure.” he said. “Let them get their photos of us on our terms at Bagatalle.”

“I’ll be waiting.” she said with a smile. They slipped into easy conversation then, the tension melting away completely by the time they got to the baklava. 

As they climbed into bed Rey curled up with him hoping they could avoid the topic of Smoke until Saturday. But she did envy Kylo having a mentor he could turn to.


	21. Chapter 21

Rey was sitting at her desk watching the clock. She kept trying to busy herself but she couldn’t make herself concentrate for more than a few seconds. It had been difficult enough walking into the office in this dress. It wasn’t particularly spectacular but Rey knew the tag she had pulled off it this morning had boasted a 4 digit price tag. She had stared at the closet in the guest room for so long that morning she had almost been late to work. She had almost forgotten about it in the drive to the office but in the elevator, she had been confronted by her own reflection. Rey from nowhere in a designer dress. She had contemplated the shoes and bags Kylo had bought as well but thought against it. So she was wearing scuffed shoes from a clearance rack in a dress that cost more than she used to pay in rent. 

She had hoped people wouldn’t notice when she walked into the office but Connie the fashion writer, with her strawberry blonde hair up in space buns had eyed her as soon as she walked in. “Nice upgrade.” she’d said as Rey walked past her desk. “Armani?”

“Yup,” said Rey wishing she hadn’t confirmed as soon as she said it. She sat at her desk and tried not to look at anyone else. Luckily the release of her articles kept her busy as she double checked them once they went up and tracked how they were being received. She already had new ideas spinning for a new series when the reminder for her lunch with Kylo popped up. Almost simultaneously a text message appeared on her phone. “I’ll be there in 15, I’ll pick you up in the garage.” 

Once she’d gotten that message all productivity had left her. If she was squirming under the looks of her coworkers how was she going to deal with paparazzi? When the time finally came she stood picking up her bag and heading for the elevator. She joined a few other people who were heading out of the office for lunch. They were all headed to the lobby so she had to call from the back of the elevator for someone to press the button for the underground floors as more people filed on.Poe was the one who leaned in and pressed the button looking back at her. The gesture was small, so minuscule it hardly counted for anything but she gave him a “Thanks.” anyway.

As the rest of the people filed off the elevator Poe lingered at the door looking back at her. She could see his wheels turning, see him wanting to say something but he seemed to rethink it and stepped off without saying a word. She was alone in the elevator down to the last floor checking herself in the reflection of the door. She smoothed back her flyaways into the twist in her hair straightening her earring. She felt like she was changing, slowly, almost imperceptibly. She didn’t know if she was fighting it, giving into it, or if it was inevitable as she grew up, evolved in her career. She was staring at her own reflection until the doors slid open and she was looking into the garage instead. She heard the purr of a luxury engine and stepped out spotting Kylo's black Audi. She crossed the passenger door letting herself in and closing the door behind her. “Perfect timing,” she said looking at him.

“Nice dress,” said Kylo looking over her before pulling out and onto the street.

“Oh this old thing?” she said running her hands over the dress. “I just dug it out of the back of my closet.”

“It’s beautiful on you,” he said. “It’ll photograph well too.” The ease that had started to creep in when she’d seen Kylo dropped away as he mentioned photographers. Rey still had to face the rest of the world.

“I hope so,” she said. “It got the seal of approval from the Empire fashion writers.”

“For the record, your entire closet has the seal of approval from Phoebe. I mean-“

“The closet you filled,” she said. “I know.”

“I just thought it would be easier,” he said. “I mean you saw her rule book. But you don’t have to wear-“

“Thank you,” she said laying her hand over his. “I appreciate you making it easier for me.” Rey looked ahead as they drove towards lunch.

“How are your series doing?” she said. “Those went up this morning right?”  
“Only a few,” she said. “The rest will come out through the week. But they’re doing good, the response seems favorable, lots of engagement.”

“No surprise to me,” he said. “And how is everything else in the office?”

“Better,” she said. “I think. It’s not as bad as it was at the beginning. I think we’re all just adjusting.” 

“Glad to hear it.” Kylo turned onto the street. There was already a small crowd of photographers waiting out front and Rey stiffened. “Phoebe called them,” said Kylo reading her reaction. “It'll be mostly people who play by her rules. No hard questions, no ‘gotcha’ pics.”

“What questions do I answer?” she said as they pulled up to the curb. 

“You can answer who you’re wearing, what we’re here to celebrate,” said Kylo. “But you don’t have to answer any of their questions if you don’t want to. Ready?” he said his hand on the car door.

“Ready,” she said and Kylo opened his door. The flashes started as soon as he stood and Rey took a deep breath as he rounded the car to open her door. She took his hand and stood straight trying to keep her gaze on Kylo for as long as she could before she turned to face the photographers. She couldn’t see anything, her eyes dazed by all the flashes. 

“Rey! Over here, look this way!” she heard called from every direction. She looked to the side as she tried to walk forward, holding onto Kylo as they stepped up the curb.“Rey, Rey who are you wearing?”

“Armani,” said Rey grateful she could give them something.

“Kylo! Are you wearing Armani too?” she heard as they moved forward. 

“I am,” he said, his hand at the small of her back. 

“Rey, Kylo come on give us a smile over here, over here!” Rey couldn’t have turned towards the voice if she tried, it seemed to be coming from everywhere.

“Just keep moving forward,” said Kylo in a low voice. 

“Rey who got that dress for you? Did you pay for it with that new job?” Rey kept her head up looking into the restaurant. “Rey who was the staffer you were dating? Is the bag by Prada?”  
Once they were inside and the doors shut behind them Rey exhaled. “You ok?” said Kylo as the host gave their keys to the valet, got their menus ready and gestured for them to follow to their table.

“Fine,” she said. “Way easier than the press conference.” The waiter led them to a table in the back. “I’m just going to have to get used to hearing questions like that.”

“You’ll learn to tune them out,” he said. “I hardly hear them anymore.” They both sat down and Rey picked up her menu. 

“I just…I wish they would decide if they love me or hate me,” she said her eyes scanning the menu. 

“It’s both. They want to be your best friend and destroy you all at once.” He picked up his menu as well. She wanted the cheeseburger, or even the pizza but knew Phoebe would kill her. She decided on the truffle pesto gnocchi instead and to stick with water not wanting an iced tea or lemonade to be confused for scotch or a cocktail by the paparazzi. It was scary how easily the rules were sinking in, how she adjusted herself to fit them invisibly. “You alright?” he said. “I can hear you overthinking?”

“Just thinking about how things have changed,” she said setting her menu down.

“Too fast?” he said eyebrows slightly creased.

“I’ll catch up.” She reached across the table squeezing his hand slightly. “I’m fine really. How was work for you today?” She pulled her hand back taking a sip of her water.

“Alright,” he said. “We might be expanding more in Chicago soon.”

“Oh…” she said. “Will you have to go there?”

“Possibly,” he said. “For a week or so. Have you ever been? I could take you.” 

“I’ve never been,” she said. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave when I just started this new job.”

“Maybe when things calm down,” he said sipping his water. 

“Will it ever?” she said with a laugh.

“I’ll let you know.” he said “But when you do have time I’d love to travel with you. Show you everything.” The waiter approached and after taking both their orders retreated. Rey was grateful that his gaze didn’t linger on either of them.

“What’s your favorite place?” she said. “If you could take me there, where would it be?”  
“Oregon,” he said after some consideration. 

“Really?” she said. “I would have thought, LA, Paris, Hong Kong.”

“There was a great lake house out there,” he said. “The porch went right onto the water and there was a place down the street with the best fries you’ve ever tasted.” Rey realized he was talking about his childhood and proceeded carefully, not wanting to pry too far.

“Summer vacations?” she added wanting to hear more.

“Spring breaks, long weekends too,” he said. “ We had an ancient motorboat that we would just tear around the lake in. It was up in the middle of nowhere so the phones only worked half the time, photographers and reporters never found us…it was like living on our own planet.” Something seemed to break and he snapped out of it. “I haven’t been there since I was 13. The house is probably long gone, knocked down and rebuilt ten times over.”

“Maybe it’s still there,” she said. “I’d like to go there if it is.”

“Maybe,” he said. “What do you think you’ll do your next series on?”

“I’ve been considering a series on environmental initiatives,” she said. “When is it helpful and when is it just performative?” The conversation flowed easily as they drank and ate, the paparazzi eventually losing interest and the crowd thinning.

“Dessert?” said Kylo as the waiter cleared their plates. 

“I really should get back to the office,” said Rey wiping at her mouth with a napkin as she checked her watch. Ben gave the waiter his card for the bill. “Will you be home for dinner tonight?”

“Not tonight,” he said. “I”m sorry, I won’t be home until almost midnight.”

“It’s alright,” she said. “I might stay late at the office to keep an eye on how my pieces are doing. I’ll order something to the office and be in bed before you’re home.”

“Well let’s get out of here,” he said standing after signing the bill and offering Rey his hand. She stood, following him back to the front entrance. There were only a few reporters remaining and she and Kylo stayed inside until they pulled the car around. “Ready?” he said taking her hand.

“Piece of cake,” she said with a smile and they walked through the doors. The bulbs weren’t so blinding this time, their questions not a wall of sound. 

“Rey, what will your new pieces focus on?” said one as Kylo escorted her to the car. 

“You’ll have to wait and see,” she said her voice not shaking.

“Kylo what do you think of her new series?” said another as he opened Rey’s door and she sat in the car.

“I’m incredibly proud,” said Kylo rounding the car. Rey was smiling at him as he got in. 

“What does Poe Dameron think of you two dating?” said another. Rey’s face fell as she looked to Kylo. There had been rumors of her breaking up with another staffer swirling but they had never had Poe’s name. Kylo shut the door and sped off before either of them could hear any more questions.

“How do they know his name?” said Rey as they sped down the street. “Did he reach out to them? Is he feeding them information?” 

“I’ll have Phoebe look into it,” said Kylo. “It could be because he sold those photos, if they looked into your past they’d see you two were dating.”

“What if they go to Poe?” she said. “He won’t hold back, he’ll tell them everything-“  
“I’ll have Phoebe handle it,” repeated Kylo. Rey leaned back into her seat, hating how their breezy afternoon had turned sour. 

“I could try talking to him,” she said quietly. “He’s not at bad as he was at the beginning. Today he was even kinda…decent.”

“Don’t talk to him about this,” said Kylo. “If he is the one talking to press he could be faking decency to get closer to you.” Rey wanted to argue, say that Poe wasn’t like that…but she didn’t know Poe outside of their relationship.

“Fine,” she said as they pulled into the underground garage. “Let me know what Phoebe finds out.” She reached for the car door but Kylo took her hand. 

“Hey,” he said. “This went well. It did. Those photos will get us more good press. And that’s all we can do. Drown out the bad with the good.” 

“Ok,” she said with a small smile, leaning to him in the car kissing him softly. “See you tonight…or in the morning- Sometime.” She laughed a little.

“Remember we have dinner this weekend,” he said. “We’ll have time.”

“Dinner with Snoke,” she said. “Right.” She worked to not look annoyed but she knew it was useless. 

“You’ll like him better when you spend one on one time,” said Kylo. “I swear.” Rey kissed him again before getting out of the car. Rey crossed back to the elevator and was grateful she rode it up alone. She felt caught between two versions of herself, between knowing where she stood, how to be and this new life she was being catapulted through. 

She just had to find solid ground, and something to hold onto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long gap between updates!


End file.
